If your mother, father, or someone close to you has Alzheimer's disease, I know how much responsibility and loving sacrifice it is to take care of them. It's like walking a tightrope. On one hand, you protect your loved one, provide them with the facilities they need, give them their medication on time, take them to see the doctor, and provide endless love and support. On the other hand, there's your life... your work, your family responsibilities, your social connections. So balancing all of this is a big challenge.
If you are caring for a loved one like this, it is important to be as informed and prepared as possible about this disease. And, when you need help, don't hesitate to ask for it.
Shall we first know what to expect?
It's helpful to have a good understanding of how Alzheimer's disease affects you. If you know in advance what changes may occur, it's easier for you to understand how your responsibilities and roles will change over time.
In fact, Alzheimer's disease does not affect every patient in the same way. It varies greatly from person to person. The patient's condition can change dramatically even from day to day. Imagine, some days your loved one is very normal, doing everyday tasks on their own. But on another day, they may become completely dependent on you. The way they respond to the medications they are given can also change from time to time.
With these changes, you may sometimes feel like they are being unreasonable or trying to trick you. But it's really not their fault. It's a natural part of the disease. Over time, over the years, the symptoms get worse. Medication can only slow down the rate at which the condition gets worse. It can't be stopped completely.
Most importantly, depression can be a part of Alzheimer's disease. Depression can make symptoms worse and reduce the ability to perform daily tasks. So, be careful if they have any signs of depression. If you notice any, tell your doctor right away.
| Nature of the disease | What you need to know |
|---|---|
| Changing from day to day | Some days (good days) are great. Other days (bad days) are very difficult. This is normal. Don't worry about it. |
| Symptoms getting worse | Over time, things like memory and behavior gradually deteriorate. Although this rate can be controlled with medication, it cannot be stopped completely. |
| Depression | Be aware of symptoms like depression, sadness, and loss of interest in anything. This can further complicate the disease. Seek medical advice immediately. |
And that's it... you need to take care of yourself too!
These tips will help you protect your life and your mental health while caring for your loved one.
You need a little rest too.
This is the most important thing. Set aside some time for yourself. Get a sibling, a friend, or someone to help you out financially, or delegate responsibility for a few hours, and go out for a bit. Do your work, get some exercise, or just be free for a while. In our country, there are now "adult day care programs." You can also look into such places. Don't feel guilty about taking a break.
Don't do everything yourself.
Alzheimer's patients can't do everything they used to do. But, with a little help, there are things they can still do. Think about it, they can still fold a few clothes, or peel a vegetable. Let them do that. Give them time. Only help them where they're struggling. Give them small goals, and praise them when they do those things. Saying, "Wow... that's really nice," can do a lot for their self-esteem.
Talk about legal and personal matters
This is a sensitive topic, but it is very important. As early as possible in the illness, discuss your loved one's final wishes with them. For example, discussing matters such as their estate planning, a durable power of attorney, a living will, and a do-not-resuscitate order (DNR) can help reduce many future problems by discussing and legally documenting these matters. Talk to a lawyer who is familiar with these matters and get advice.
Don't stop your life.
This is a big commitment. But don't put your whole life on hold for it. Talk to your friends, meet them. Continue doing the things you love (hobbies). Try to maintain your normal routine as much as possible. Then you will be able to carry out this responsibility mentally and with less frustration. Remember, only if you are happy and strong will you be able to take good care of your loved one.
Find someone to talk to about your feelings.
You need someone to listen to your loved one and support them, and to vent your stress, sadness, and frustration. This could be a close friend or family member. Talk to them openly and honestly. It can also be helpful to join support groups where other caregivers of Alzheimer's patients can come together. This will help you realize that you are not alone in this challenge. It can be a great relief to know that others are feeling the same way you are.
Take-Home Message
- Alzheimer's is a progressive disease. It's normal to have good days and bad days. So be patient.
- Just as you care for your loved one, your physical and mental health is equally important. Get some rest. Don't feel guilty about it.
- Help them maintain their self-esteem by allowing them to do the little things they can still do.
- Discussing and making decisions about legal and medical matters (such as last will and DNR) early in the disease process can help prevent many problems in the future.
- You are not alone in this journey. Ask for help from family, friends, or support groups. Share your feelings.
- If you notice any changes in your loved one's symptoms or mental state (especially depression), talk to their doctor right away.
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