Has your husband, wife, or someone close to you started forgetting small things around the age of 50? Do you now forget things like directions, important dates, etc. that you used to remember well? This must be something that really worries and scares you. Today we are talking about Early-Onset Dementia , a condition that causes memory loss at a young age, that is, before the age of 65.
Simply put, what is Early-Onset Dementia?
Dementia is a condition in which the brain gradually loses its ability to think clearly, communicate effectively, and remember information. It usually affects older adults, but it can also affect people under the age of 65. This is called early-onset dementia . It can occur in people in their 30s, but it is most common in people in their 50s.
Just think, when a situation like this occurs at a young age, the challenges you face are very different. Because at that age:
- That person may have a job.
- You may have school-age children who depend on you.
- There may be major financial obligations, such as a loan to build a house or a car lease.
Therefore, when caring for someone like this, special attention must be paid to family life, work, legal and financial matters. Also, the behavioral changes and mood swings that come with this condition can have a significant impact on family, social relationships and work.
How do you need help with daily tasks?
Over time, your loved one may find it difficult to do their daily tasks on their own. At that time, your help will be invaluable. The table below lists some of the situations in which your help may be needed.
| When help is needed | What you can do |
|---|---|
| Memory | Remind them of people's names, faces, important places, and roads. |
| Important things | Remind yourself of things like doctor appointments and children's school meetings, and take them with you. |
| Medicine | Help them take their medication on time. If necessary, put the medication in a box and label it. |
| Personal hygiene | Help with things like getting dressed, bathing, and brushing teeth. |
| Food and money | Helping to prepare healthy meals and helping with money management. |
Keep these things in mind when caring for
- Safety comes first: Before your loved one does anything alone, check the surrounding area to make sure it is safe and free of any potential hazards. For example, make sure the gas stove is turned off and the doors are closed.
- Find out what things are stressing them out: Understand what things are bothering them the most and causing them stress. For example, if going to the store to buy the groceries they need for the week is a lot of stress for them, make a shopping list together.
- Don't assume "they can't": Don't assume that someone with dementia can't do something. First, see if they can do it safely. Only help if they can't.
- Develop a signal to ask for help: Talk to them and develop a simple word or signal that they can remember to say when they really need your help.
- Communicate regularly: Talk regularly to see if the way you help them is still working for them, if they have any new problems, and how you can help them further.
How to plan legal and financial matters?
This is a very important part. Once the medical condition has been confirmed by a doctor , it is essential that you both meet with a lawyer and draw up a Power of Attorney (POA) . This document gives you, or someone you designate as your loved one, the legal authority to make financial, property and personal decisions on their behalf.
Remember, it is very important to take these legal steps before the illness becomes severe, that is, when the patient is at a mental level capable of making decisions about their own affairs.
Also, seek the help of a lawyer to prepare important legal documents, such as a last will.
Problems related to work and money
Over time, as memory and thinking skills decline, it becomes impossible to continue working. This may lead to having to quit your job. This is a big blow to the family's finances. Therefore, it is important to plan ahead for things like:
- Ask your employer: Is early retirement possible and if the company offers any other employee assistance programs?
- Government subsidies: Check if the Sri Lankan Department of Social Services provides any allowances or relief to people with such medical conditions. Prepare the necessary medical records properly.
- Find out about EPF/ETF: Ask if you can withdraw money from the Employees' Provident Fund (EPF) or any other fund early for medical reasons. Obtain the necessary documents from your doctor .
- Limit expenses: Talk about the family's financial needs in advance and discuss ways to limit unnecessary expenses.
How does this affect the family, especially the children?
It can be a real challenge if there are young children at home when you are diagnosed with this condition. Children may have different feelings about this change, whether it's from their mother or father.
- Young children: They may be scared and worried, asking, "Why does mommy/daddy forget things?"
- Teens: They may also experience similar feelings and worry about taking on more responsibilities at home.
The most important thing is to talk honestly with the whole family, including the children, about this disease and what to expect going forward. Explain the facts to everyone in an age-appropriate way. Even though it may be sad to learn the truth at first, the children will feel a great sense of relief when they realize that this is the reason for the change in their mother's/father's behavior.
With all this, how do you take care of yourself?
The sacrifice you make to give your loved one a better life is priceless. But, it is a big responsibility. You too may feel angry, sad, and stressed at times. It is very normal. Almost everyone who cares for someone like this experiences these feelings.
You can only take good care of your loved ones if you are well. So, think about yourself too.
- Don't try to do everything alone: Accept the fact that you can't do everything alone. If someone offers to help, accept it. And don't be afraid to say "no" if you can't.
- Talk about your feelings: Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about it. If there are support groups that bring together people who have been through similar experiences, joining them can be a great way to help you feel better.
- Take a deep breath: Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress. Go for a walk, run, do something you enjoy. It will help you sleep better and make you feel refreshed.
- Be informed: Learn as much as you can about this condition and the changes that may occur in the future. This will help you better prepare for the future. Talk to your doctor about this and get accurate information.
Take-Home Message
- If you notice a change in your loved one's memory or behavior, see a qualified doctor immediately and get an accurate diagnosis.
- As soon as the illness is confirmed, make legal and financial arrangements (such as Power of Attorney, Last Will and Testament) without delay.
- Be patient. Find new, simple ways to communicate. Try to understand their feelings.
- Explain the situation to family, especially children, honestly and in a language they understand.
- Above all, take care of yourself. Take care of your physical and mental health. Ask for help when you need it.
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