At some point in our lives, when we lose someone close to us, whether it's a family member, a friend, or someone we love, it's very normal to feel a lot of sadness and pain. That's nature. This sadness gradually subsides over time, and we adjust to normal life again. But sometimes, this sadness doesn't subside, it gets stuck inside our hearts, gets worse and worse, and we can't even do our daily tasks properly. That's what we medically call ' complicated grief', a type of grief that goes beyond normal grief, lasts longer, and is severe .
So what is this (Complicated Grief)?
Simply put, complicated grief is a very intense, long-lasting type of grief that occurs after the loss of someone. In this type of grief, the feelings and thoughts you feel do not subside over time. Instead, they can feel like they are constantly running through your mind, taking up your entire day, your entire life.
Usually, when we lose someone, we feel like we're stuck in a mud pit, lost in a fog, or struggling to get out of the water. There may be pain, sadness, and maybe even anger. But after a while, we get over it and start living our lives again. However, in this state called (Complicated Grief), that doesn't happen. That grief doesn't go away on its own. It takes a toll on your body and mind, and it makes you very tired.
If you have Complicated Grief, you may feel:
- I feel an unbearable burden about the reason for the loss or the events that happened at that time.
- This loss makes me feel very anxious about what will happen in the future.
- They try to avoid things that remind them of the person they lost, or they fill their minds with those very memories.
Doctors use several other names for this condition (Complicated Grief):
- `(Prolonged grief)` (Prolonged grief)
- `(Chronic grief)` (Chronic grief)
- `(Persistent complex bereavement disorder)` (Persistent complex bereavement disorder)
What is the difference between normal grief and complicated grief?
We all experience grief differently. Some people can get over it in a few days, while others can take months. That's normal. But the main difference between Complicated Grief and other types of grief is that it can last for six months or a year after the loss and can affect your daily life to the point where you can't function.
Imagine, your best friend's mother dies. In the first few weeks or months, it's normal for her to be sad, cry, lose her appetite, and not sleep. But after about a year, if she still doesn't eat or drink properly, doesn't go to work, doesn't talk to anyone, and is constantly crying and thinking about her lost mother, then we need to be a little concerned. That could be a case of (Complicated Grief).
Does everyone cope with grief differently?
Yes, absolutely. Although we all grieve when we lose someone, the way we handle and deal with that grief can vary from person to person. There are several factors that can affect this:
- Your background: how you were raised, your experiences.
- Your beliefs: Religious beliefs, outlook on life.
- The relationship with the person you lost: How close that person was to you and how important they were to your life.
We all have different personalities. And the environment we live in also influences us. All of these influence how we cope with grief.
How common is the condition called (Complicated Grief)?
Based on research conducted so far, it is estimated that about 7% of adults who experience grief may experience Complicated Grief. This is a new condition added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which is a manual that classifies mental disorders. Therefore, further research is being conducted on this.
What are the symptoms of Complicated Grief?
If you have Complicated Grief, you may experience one or more of these symptoms:
- Overwhelming, intrusive thoughts about loss that are too much to bear.
- Feeling a strong longing, an unbearable mental pain (feeling like the lost person will come back).
- Denying, avoiding, or ignoring reminders of the loss. Or, instead, trying to surround yourself with reminders of the lost person (e.g., clothes, pictures).
- Feeling like there is no purpose in life after loss.
- It's hard to accept that loss has happened.
In addition, complicated grief can also cause the following conditions:
- Suicidal thoughts .
- Insomnia .
- Severe stress .
- The food is tasteless.
- Difficulty being social with others, trying to be alone.
- Deterioration of physical health.
- Difficulty maintaining relationships with others and fulfilling personal responsibilities.
Important: If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please immediately seek help from a doctor, mental health counselor , or someone you trust. Don't go it alone.
What are the causes of (Complicated Grief)?
The main reason for this condition is loss . It could be the death of a loved one, a divorce, maybe even something like losing a job or moving house. Loss affects people in different ways. For some, it can have a long-term impact.
Who is at higher risk of developing Complicated Grief?
If you have any of the following factors, you may be at slightly higher risk of developing Complicated Grief:
- Facing a sudden, unexpected loss: For example, death in an accident or suicide.
- Losing someone very close to your family: like a parent, sibling, child, or spouse.
- Having a very close, personal connection with the person you lost.
- Experiencing severe trauma at the time of the loss.
- Having a pre-existing mental health condition (e.g., `(Depression)` or `(Anxiety)`).
What are the complications that can occur due to Complicated Grief?
Complicated Grief can affect your mind as well as your body. Some of the long-term health problems that can arise from it include:
- Depression .
- Anxiety .
- Malnutrition or dehydration (due to not eating or drinking properly).
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) .
- Heart disease .
- High blood pressure .
- Substance use disorder or alcohol use disorder . Unable to cope with the pain, some people may turn to alcohol or drugs, which only makes the situation worse.
How to recognize (Complicated Grief)?
A doctor is the one who can truly determine whether or not you have complicated grief. They will consider the following factors:
- Whether your symptoms of grief have affected your physical, mental, and social health .
- Whether these symptoms persist after the loss of at least a year in the case of an adult, or six months in the case of a young child.
- Whether you have been experiencing these symptoms daily for at least a month before diagnosis.
In addition, to confirm the diagnosis, the doctor will look for at least three of the following symptoms:
- It feels like a part of you has died with the loss.
- An unwillingness to accept that the loss has happened.
- Avoiding things that remind you of the loss.
- Feeling intense mental pain.
- Inability to engage in social activities with family and friends.
- The loss of feeling emotions, or a feeling of emotional numbness.
- Feeling like life has no meaning after loss.
- Loneliness, a feeling of being separated from others.
What are the treatments for Complicated Grief?
There are treatments for Complicated Grief. Many people find a treatment called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) very helpful. Simply put, CBT:
- Helping you accept the reality of loss.
- Helping you adjust to life with this loss.
- Helping you reconnect with the things you did before you lost them, the people you were with.
- Helping you achieve your personal goals by healing both mentally and physically.
Also, joining bereavement support groups can be very helpful. These are groups where people who have experienced similar losses as you can come together and understand your pain. There you can share your experiences, listen to others, and feel that you are not alone.
If you have other complications due to Complicated Grief, such as depression, your doctor may prescribe medications such as antidepressants .
How quickly will I feel better after treatment?
There is no exact time frame for this. Everyone's recovery process and recovery rate are different. It may take months, or it may take years for you to start feeling better. Your therapist will work with you to plan your treatment based on your personal goals. It is important to be patient and committed to your treatment.
What should I expect if I have (Complicated Grief)?
Living with a loss is not easy. Your mind is filled with emotions, and it can also affect your physical health. If these thoughts and feelings are taking over your life, definitely seek medical advice. If you find it difficult to cope on your own, ask a trusted family member or friend for help, such as going to the first doctor's appointment.
Remember, complicated grief is a treatable condition. You can get better through therapy and support groups. If you're not sure where to start, talk to your primary care provider. He or she can give you the guidance you need. And if your grief is affecting your physical health, he or she can help you with that as well.
Can Complicated Grief be prevented?
There is no way to completely prevent Complicated Grief. However, there are things you can do to reduce your risk:
- Talking to a mental health counselor after a loss.
- Building a strong support system of people who love and understand you.
- Joining a grief support group after a loss.
When should I see a doctor?
If you are still feeling intense grief even a year after a loss, and the grief is preventing you from doing your daily activities or living a normal life, definitely see a doctor. A doctor can help you heal.
In particular, if you are feeling depressed about life and are having suicidal thoughts, please do not delay for a second and seek medical advice immediately or tell someone you trust.
What questions should I ask my doctor?
When you visit the doctor, it may be helpful to ask questions like these:
- What bereavement resources are available to help me cope with grief? Can I refer to them?
- Should I talk to a mental health professional ?
- Will I need to take medication? If so, what are the side effects?
- Can this (Complicated Grief) condition cause long-term effects on me?
- How do I get back to my normal routine?
- I am having suicidal thoughts. Can you help me find treatment for it?
Finally, remember... (Take-Home Message)
Complicated Grief can feel like a huge weight on your chest, a never-ending cycle of emotional pain. It can be difficult to overcome this burden on your own without treatment. Although your symptoms may improve over time with treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the feelings associated with the loss may resurface throughout your life. Holidays and anniversaries can be especially difficult.
But the most important thing is to understand that you are not alone in this journey. There are people who can help you, be with you, and listen to you during these most difficult, challenging moments. So never hesitate to ask for help, to talk, to seek treatment. You can recover.
` Complex grief, sadness, loss, mental health, grief therapy, CBT, psychological counseling
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