How hard is it to hear from a doctor that your mother, father, or someone you love has dementia? It's heartbreaking news. This is a difficult time not only for the patient, but also for you and the rest of the family who are caring for them. The person you love is not gone, but it's hard to bear the thought that the person you know is slowly changing. That's a kind of sadness.
So, if you or someone in your family has Alzheimer's or another type of dementia, let's talk about some things that can help you cope with the present and the future.
What do you do after diagnosis?
This section is especially for the person who has just been diagnosed. While your mind is still functioning well, there are some things you can do.
Do what you can, when you can.
Doctors often tell newly diagnosed patients, "While you're still able to think clearly, let's talk about what you can do. Then you can decide for yourself how you want to spend the next few years." This way, making decisions on your own or with the help of your family can give you a lot of mental strength.
For example, it is important to have things like land deeds, property documents, and legal matters in order in advance. It is also wise to prepare something like an `advance directive`, a written document that outlines how you want your treatment to be done in the future. Talk to your doctor about this.
Is there a trip you've always wanted to take? Now is the perfect time to think about it and plan for it.
Stay together with everyone.
It is very normal to feel sad, sometimes even depressed, after a dementia diagnosis. But don't try to isolate yourself or stay in your room. Instead, spend time with family and friends . Attend religious services, go for a walk, or go shopping. These things will bring you comfort.
If you are feeling down about life and unable to do anything, definitely see a doctor . He or she may prescribe medication (antidepressants), counseling, or both.
Be well informed about this.
The more information you have about this disease and the more support you get, the easier it will be to stay healthy and safe. It is important for patients and their families to stay in regular contact with their doctors, as well as with professionals such as social workers and counselors.
Important things for you to take care of the patient
If you are a caregiver for someone with dementia, these facts will be very useful to you.
Be patient and kind.
As dementia progresses, sudden outbursts of anger and personality changes can be common. Imagine your mother suddenly yelling and scolding you. Remember that this behavior is not directed at you personally or intentionally . It's not her, it's her illness that's talking.
Someone with dementia may not understand things just because you spoke loudly or tried to force something. So, if you feel like you're losing your patience, ask someone else to take care of them for a while and take a break.
Another important thing is, "Don't talk about him as if he wasn't there." Even in the late stages of dementia, the patient may feel that someone is talking about him. This can make him angry, resentful, and perhaps even paranoia that someone is harming him.
The one who cares must first take care of themselves.
This is the most important thing. When you're taking care of your loved one, you're so busy that you might miss out on your sleep, meals, and exercise. But you should eat well, sleep well, and take care of yourself.
It's normal to feel guilty, like, "Oh, what will happen to mom without me?" or "I'm the only one who knows dad, how will I go out?" But ask for help from other family members, relatives, and neighbors . Instead of feeling guilty about going for a walk, remember that you can only take good care of your loved one if you are healthy and happy.
| Where to get help | Available services |
|---|---|
| Community Hospitals / Base Hospitals | Medical advice, adult clinics, and counseling services. |
| Religious places (temple, church, kovil) | Psychological comfort, community support, and support groups. |
| Community-level adult societies | Social programs, and programs that provide respite for caregivers. |
| Department of Social Services | Information about government relief and guidance. |
Don't forget the good memories.
Take out an old photo album. Put on an old song that they loved and listen to it. Reminiscing about old things like this can be a comforting and bonding experience for the person with dementia and for you as their caregiver. You'll be surprised at how much your loved one remembers, even in the final stages of dementia.
As with any illness, there are good days and bad days. When you have a bad day, think, "Tomorrow will be a better day." When you hear the word dementia, everyone thinks of someone who is confined to their bed. But in reality, there is a lot to live for even after a diagnosis.
Take-Home Message
- Dementia is a progressive disease, so be prepared for the changes that occur.
- Help the patient make important decisions about their future, early in the diagnosis process.
- It is very important for mental health for both the patient and the caregiver to be social and connected with others.
- As a caregiver, prioritize your own health . You can only provide good care if you are healthy.
- Don't take the patient's behavioral changes personally. Be patient and kind. Understand that it is part of the illness itself.
- Always, in case of any problem, seek advice from your doctor .
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