Are parents sad? Here's how to teach your child about depression

When someone in the family has a fever or a sore throat, it's not that difficult to explain it to a child. But, if mom stays in her room for days and seems sad, and dad doesn't smile or talk like he used to... how do you explain such an invisible illness to a small child? This is a big problem for many parents. If we don't tell our children about it properly, they may misinterpret things. They may think, "Mom is sad because of something I did wrong." So, let's talk about this today.

Simply put, what is depression?

Depression, or what we call it in English, is a mental illness. It is not a weakness of the mind, nor a feeling of sadness, nor a feeling of being sad. To be precise, it is a medical condition related to our brain.

Just think, when we have diabetes, the hormone insulin doesn't work properly, right? In the same way, when we have depression , the function of certain chemicals (neurotransmitters) in our brain changes . These chemicals control our feelings of happiness, sadness, and activity. So when these functions are disrupted, a person can feel sad, frustrated with life, and disinterest in anything for a long time.

How to speak to a child in a way that is appropriate for their age?

When talking to a child about this, it's important to consider their age and level of understanding. This should be explained to a young child of fifteen, not a five-year-old.

For convenience, let's look at this in a table like this:

Keep these points in mind when talking to your child.

1. Be honest, don't hide things.

Children are smarter than we think. If there is something different at home, they can sense it. Rather than lying and saying "nothing," it's better to tell them the truth in a way that they can understand. Otherwise, they will start to think of reasons based on what they know, which will cause unnecessary fear.

2. Clearly state, "This is not your fault."

This is the most important and essential thing to say . Young children often think that they are the cause of their parents' sadness. Things like "Mom is sad because I did something naughty," "Dad won't talk to me because I got low marks in the exam," may come to their mind. So, repeat, "This is not your fault at all. This is an illness. It's like catching a cold."

3. Give hope

Help your child understand that depression is a treatable illness. Saying, "Mom/Dad, you're getting treatment for this. You're seeing the doctor and taking medicine. After a while, you'll be happy again," can help reduce your child's fear.

4. This is not something that can be discussed once and then finished.

Don't just talk about this in one day. Talk to your child about it regularly. Ask them, "How are you, son?", "Are you feeling anything?", "Do you have any questions?" regularly. This will help ease their burden and make them feel that they are not alone.

How do we face this challenge as a family?

When someone in the family suffers from depression, it affects the entire family. But if we come together as a family, we can overcome this challenge.

• Maintain routines: Keep your child's daily routine (wake-up time, schoolwork, meals, playtime, bedtime) as consistent as possible. This will help your child feel stable and secure.
• Think about yourself too: The other partner who is caring for the person with depression needs to take care of their own mental and physical health as well. Only when you are strong can you take care of the entire family.
• Practice positive ways to cope with stress: Teach your children ways to manage stress and anxiety. We also call this `distress tolerance`.
• Deep breathing: Take a few deep breaths when you feel stressed.
• Talking about what's on your mind: When you feel sad or angry, talk to someone you trust without keeping it bottled up inside.
• Positive thinking: Telling yourself positive things like "everything will be fine."
• Be mindful of your words and behavior: No matter how stressed you are, try to avoid yelling or arguing in front of your children. Your behavior sets a great example for your children.

When to seek immediate medical advice

• If the depressed parent's condition is severe, getting worse, or talking about harming themselves, take them to the nearest hospital's Emergency Treatment Unit (ETU) without delay .
• If you notice a big change in your child's behavior, for example, being sad all the time, missing schoolwork, not eating well, not sleeping well, or trying to be alone, it is important to see your family doctor to talk about your child's mental health.

Depression, Mental Health, Teaching Children, Parents, Family, Stress