Does your partner also have depression? How can we help?

Have you ever felt like your beloved husband or wife is not the same person they used to be? They just get angry, try to stay away from everyone, and don't even smile? When this happens, the first question that comes to your mind is, "Oh, did I do something wrong?" But it's really not your fault. These things could very well be symptoms of a condition we've all heard of called depression. So today, let's talk about how to lovingly help your partner during this time.

How to recognize the symptoms of depression?

In a state of depression, a person's behavior and daily habits can suddenly change. These are the first signs we can recognize. Imagine, when your husband comes home from work, he used to smile and talk to you, telling you about his day. But now, if he goes to his room and stays alone when he comes home, and if he responds angrily even when you talk to him, that is a change that you should be concerned about.

Let's see what are the most common changes in the table below.

Don't let this become a vicious circle.

Now look, it's natural to feel hurt when your partner withdraws from you, when they speak angrily. At that time, you too can get angry. You can also try to distance yourself from them. But if that happens, the person who is depressed will become even more isolated, sadder, and angrier. This is what we call a vicious circle .

The most important thing you need to understand is that this is not something he is doing to you out of spite or anger. This is the nature of depression. It's like having a fever and feeling sick. That's the nature of the disease. So don't let yourself think, "This is all my fault."

So how do you talk?

Don't rush to talk to him about this with friends or relatives. That might make him feel like he's being accused. Instead, you can talk calmly and lovingly.

• Don't accuse: Rather than saying things like, "You're feeling really bad right now,"
• Say what you've observed: "I can see you're not as happy as you used to be. You're thinking a lot, aren't you?"
• Say what you feel: "I'm sorry we don't talk like we used to. I feel like you're distant from me."

When you talk to him like this, he'll understand that you're not accusing him, but rather looking into him.

They may not accept this question.

Often, someone who is depressed doesn't want to admit that they have a problem. They might say, "I'm fine." Or, if they're addicted to something like alcohol, they might say, "This relieves my stress, I need this."

At times like this, what they need is for you to listen to them rather than "fix" them. Allow them to say what's on their mind, without any judgment.

However, if what he says is too hurtful for you to bear, don't try to solve it on your own. That's when professional help is needed.

You can gently encourage him to see a doctor.

"Should we see a doctor and talk to him? Maybe there's a reason for this tiredness and mental distress. Let's find out."

You can see a psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, or your family doctor for this. Treatment includes psychotherapy and, if necessary, medication . Remember, most of the time, the best results are achieved when both treatments are used together.

Stay positive, be active together.

Imagine, no matter how much you say, he says he can't go to a doctor. At that time, you will feel very helpless. But don't lose heart. Stay positive. Because depression is a condition that can be cured with treatment in about 90% of cases .

Things you can do besides treatment

• Give affection: Even if they feel like they're rejecting you, hug them and say a loving word.
• Be active together: One of the biggest things that comes with depression is laziness. So you can say, "Would you like to go for a walk?" Exercise together, do some gardening, go to the beach.
• Don't blame or accuse: Saying things like "This is happening because of you" only makes problems worse.
• Read a book together: This may sound a little strange, but reading a book to each other has been found to be very comforting and bonding.

Self-care is very important.

Throughout this journey, it's important to take care of yourself while supporting your partner. This can be mentally exhausting. So think about your mental and physical health as well.

• Sleep as well as possible.
• You should also exercise regularly.
• Eat a balanced, nutritious diet.
• Read books and articles written about situations like this.
• If you find this pressure difficult to bear, never hesitate to seek the help of a counselor .

Finally, don't think of this as a personal flaw on your part. This is a challenge that both of you have to face together. With the right medical treatment, your love, patience, and support, you can definitely overcome this situation.

Depression, Mental Health, Partner, Marriage, How to Help