When a family member, such as a parent or loved one, is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it's not easy to care for them. Especially if you live far away from them, perhaps in another country or region, the distance can bring many additional challenges. But don't worry. With good planning and the help of today's technology, you can stay connected to your loved one and take some control over the day-to-day caregiving tasks. Let's talk about this in detail.
First, keep everything in order.
One of the most important things you can do as a remote helper, in addition to providing financial assistance, is to coordinate all medical information, insurance documents, and legal documents in an orderly manner.
Simply put, set up an online system to pay your loved one's bills. For example, you can pay your electricity bill, water bill, etc. online. It is also essential to have some legal documents in order. Especially, in case you are unable to make decisions, see if you have prepared something in advance, such as a ``power of attorney`` or a ``health-care proxy`` that authorizes someone else to make health or financial decisions for you. Although these are not very common in Sri Lanka, it is worth talking to a lawyer and becoming aware of this concept. Because these things can be difficult to do when the illness worsens.
The most important thing is to plan everything in advance so that you can get the necessary things done without panicking in an emergency.
You need to constantly check how things are going.
Alzheimer's is a progressive disease . So your loved one's condition and the care they need may change over time. Make time to visit them as often as possible, perhaps every few weeks or months. When you do, be sure to pay close attention to any cognitive changes.
In the early stages of the disease, when symptoms are not as severe, they may be able to live on their own. At that time, you can provide social support, help with things like seeing a doctor, and getting insurance. As the disease progresses, they may need help with driving, paying bills, and doing daily tasks. Eventually, they may need to hire a full-time in-home aide or move to a care facility like a nursing home.
Think about these things to assess what kind of care he or she will need when you get home.
| What to check | Things to pay attention to |
|---|---|
| Food and kitchen | Is there food in the fridge? Is it spoiled? Are you in a position to cook for yourself? |
| Documents and bills | Are there piles of unopened letters and bills? Have you paid your bills on time? |
| Personal hygiene | Do you bathe properly, clean your body, and dress neatly? |
| Security and memory | Do you get lost when you leave the house, unable to find your way? Do you forget to turn off the gas stove and close the doors? |
Let's see if the home environment is safe?
If your loved one still lives at home, pay attention to potential hazards in the home when you leave. Remove things that could cause them to slip and fall, such as throw rugs and loose extension cords . If they have difficulty walking, consider installing wheelchair ramps.
For someone with a weak memory, clutter in the house can be confusing. So , clear out unnecessary papers, old items, and piles of things and make them organized . But keep things that he loves and that hold memories. Even a photo album with pictures of his family will help him smile every day.
The importance of staying connected
Since you can't go out every day to prepare meals, give medication on time, and do other chores, the next best thing you can do is find a trusted, local caregiver .
Stay in touch with this caregiver. Talk about the changes and challenges of the day. Also, ask a good neighbor or close relative to check in from time to time and let you know if they are receiving the care they need. This will give you a great sense of peace.
Be aware of medical information as well.
Get written permission from your loved one to share their medical information with you. Introduce yourself to their primary care physician and neurologist. Write down exactly what medications they are taking, their dosages, and their side effects . Read up on Alzheimer's disease and its treatments. Discuss all of this with your doctor.
Let's stay connected using technology.
With the help of a caregiver or a friend who is a little tech-savvy, you can talk to your loved one over a video call. You can use software like Skype or FaceTime. But remember, as the disease progresses and memory fades, you may need to remind them where you are talking from and who your family members are. Be patient and loving during this time.
Enjoy your time together.
You may only be able to come once every few weeks or once every few months. There may be a lot of things to do on that day, like going to the store, seeing the doctor, or doing house repairs. Yes, those things are important. But what's also important is that you're there, and it's a chance for you to spend time together .
Make a plan before you arrive. That way, you can save time for urgent matters and still have time to enjoy time together. Depending on the stage of his illness, you can do things like watch a movie together, go for a walk, play a card game, or listen to his favorite old songs. Those memories are valuable to both of you.
Take-Home Message
- Although providing care from a distance can be a challenge, it can be done successfully with good planning.
- Get all your medical, financial, and legal documents in order in advance. Get help from someone you know if necessary.
- Always assess your loved one's condition. Enlist the help of a trusted caregiver or neighbor.
- Maintain regular contact with their doctor. Be aware of the medications they are taking and their condition.
- When you visit them, make sure to set aside time to spend quality time with them, in addition to work. That emotional connection is very important.
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