Have you ever felt like you have less desire for sex than you used to? It may seem difficult to talk to anyone about this. But the most important thing you need to know is that this is not just a problem for you. Many people have to face this situation at different times in their lives. So today, let's talk about this, that is, low libido, in a friendly way.
Simply put, what is low libido?
It's very simple. It's when you feel less sexual desire than you used to. You may feel less frequently having sex, or you may feel less intense. Sometimes this is temporary and can last for a short time. But for some people, it can last for a long time.
Don't think this is unusual. About 1 in 5 men, and even more women, will experience this condition at some point in their lives. Although it can be caused by hormones and changes in the body, it can happen to anyone.
What are the symptoms of this condition?
The main symptom is a decreased desire for sex. In addition, see if you also experience these symptoms:
- A lack of interest in any kind of sexual activity, including masturbation.
- The frequency of thinking about sex decreases significantly.
- Feeling sad, anxious, or worried about your decreased sexual desire.
Why does this happen? Let's look at some reasons.
There is not one reason why your sex drive is decreasing, but many factors can contribute to this. Many things can cause this, such as your physical health, mental health, aging, your relationship, and stress in life. Let's look at these reasons clearly in a table.
| The category to which the reason belongs | Description and examples |
|---|---|
| Physical health problems | Some medical conditions can cause a decrease in sexual desire. Examples include: Diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, chronic kidney disease, cancer, underactive thyroid, and chronic pain in the body. |
| Mental health and stress | The problems and stress you have in your mind can directly affect your sexual desire. Examples include relationship problems (loss of trust), stress from work or family problems, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and traumatic events such as sexual assault in the past. |
| Other external reasons | Side effects of certain medications (especially those for depression and high blood pressure), excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, and drug use. Smoking can lower testosterone levels in men. Also, doing too much or no physical exercise can be a cause. |
What are the causes that specifically affect women?
There are several other specific reasons why women's sexual desire decreases.
- Perimenopause and Menopause: During this time, estrogen levels decrease, which can lead to a decrease in sexual desire.
- Problems during sexual intercourse: Pain during intercourse, vaginal dryness, or difficulty reaching orgasm can lead to fear and stress about sexual activity and decreased desire.
- Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding: It is common to experience a decrease in sexual desire due to the major hormonal changes, physical discomfort, and mental stress that occur during these times.
- Infections: Temporary infections, such as yeast infections or urinary tract infections (UTIs), can make sex painful.
- Reproductive health issues: Conditions like endometriosis, PMS, and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) can also affect desire.
Birth control and sexual desire
Some hormonal birth control methods can also cause a decrease in sexual desire. For example, some types of birth control pills, the birth control shot (Depo-Provera®), and birth control implants can cause this.
Causes that specifically affect men
There are two main reasons why men's sexual desire decreases.
- Low Testosterone: This is the main hormone that controls male sexual desire. This hormone can decrease with age or due to other medical conditions.
- Sexual problems: Problems such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or delayed ejaculation can cause anxiety about sexual activity and reduce desire.
How does a doctor diagnose this condition?
When you go to see a doctor to talk about this, he will ask you some questions to find out the cause. It is very important to tell the truth without being embarrassed.
Remember, doctors ask these kinds of questions all the time, so they won't see this as a strange problem that's unique to you.
You can usually ask about things like:
- About your symptoms
- About your health condition and medications you take
- About your sex life
- About your relationship
- About the stress in life
- About your thoughts and feelings about sex
Then, if a medical condition is suspected, a physical examination, a pelvic exam for women, a blood test to check hormone levels, or an ultrasound may be recommended.
What are the treatments for this?
The best thing is that there are many good treatments for this. The best treatment for you will depend on the cause of your low sex drive. Your family doctor may be able to treat you, or they may refer you to a specialist, such as a gynecologist, urologist, endocrinologist, or psychologist.
Several treatment methods are listed in the table below.
| Treatment method | Simply put... |
|---|---|
| Education and communication | Gaining accurate knowledge about how sex and desire work can reduce fear and anxiety. It's also important to talk openly with your partner. |
| Stress management | Reducing stress can improve your mood and sexual desire. Things like meditation, exercise, and journaling can help. |
| Changing medications | If your doctor determines that your decreased libido is due to a medication you are taking, he or she will tell you to change the dosage or switch to another medication. |
| Hormone Therapy | Estrogen hormone therapy can be given to women who have lost libido due to menopause, and to men who have low testosterone (in the form of pills, patches, creams, or injections). |
| Psychotherapy | You can talk to a counselor to help you deal with your emotional issues, anxiety, and depression. Couples therapy can also strengthen your relationship. |
| Sex Therapy | There are sex therapists who specialize in sexual issues. They can help you better with this issue. |
Are there things I can do to increase my sexual desire?
Of course! If you're concerned about your low sex drive, the first thing you should do is see a doctor. In addition, here are some things you can try on your own.
- Learn about sex from trusted sources. Accurate knowledge is very important.
- Talk openly and honestly with your spouse. This will greatly strengthen the relationship between you.
- Adopt a healthy lifestyle. Exercise regularly, eat nutritious foods, and reduce alcohol consumption.
- If you have other conditions, such as diabetes or heart disease, work with your doctor to manage them well .
Most importantly, if this issue is causing you stress or distress, don't be shy and seek medical advice. Sexual health is an important part of your overall health. There's nothing wrong with talking about it.
Take-Home Message
- Low libido is a common condition that affects many people. Don't think you're alone in facing this problem.
- This can be caused by many factors, such as physical illness, mental stress, relationship problems, and medications taken.
- If you find out exactly what the cause is, there are very effective treatments.
- Talking openly about this with your spouse is a big step towards resolving the issue.
- If this situation is causing you mental distress, don't be shy and see a doctor for advice. That's the best thing you can do.
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