Are you having difficulty communicating with your adolescent? (Adolescent Communication) Let's talk about this!

Hello! Your child who was a child in your house has now grown up and become a teenager, right? The period from the age of thirteen to eighteen is a time of great changes in their lives, and indeed in the lives of our parents. It's not like before, talking to them, understanding them can sometimes be a bit of a challenge. But don't worry, this is something that many parents experience. Let's talk about this in more detail today, how to improve our relationship with our children during this time.

Why is conversation so important at this age?

You may remember, when they were little, your child would ask you for everything. But now they are a little older. They spend most of their day outside the home – at school, in extracurricular activities, maybe doing odd jobs, or with friends. This is the nature of this age. They are slowly starting to see the world on their own and form their own opinions.

But, this is when they need your support and attention the most. It is very important to find time to talk to them a little bit throughout the day. That is when they can share their thoughts, problems, and joys with you. Think about it, there was a problem at school, a small disagreement with a friend, or they learned something new and became very interested in it – they need someone they can trust to talk to and to ease their burdens. The more that person is you, the more strength they will have in their life.

"It's like our children get wings when they grow up. But until those wings are strong, we need to be there to show them the right way to fly."

How do we successfully communicate with our young children?

This is the problem that many people have. You may also be thinking things like, "He doesn't listen to me," "He doesn't answer when I ask him something." Let's look at some tips for this.

1. Set aside time to talk.

Even if you are busy all day, set aside a little time for your child. Maybe during dinner, or ten to fifteen minutes before your child goes to bed. The most important thing is to make them feel like you are really interested and listening to what they have to say. Put the phone away, turn off the TV, and give your child your full attention.

2. Talk to the child, not preach to them.

This is where we often go wrong. We think we are teaching them good things. But unknowingly, we start preaching to them, giving them constant advice. When that happens, children become reluctant to talk. Conversation is a two-way street. Listen to their opinions, let them have what they have to say. Instead of saying, "Listen to me," ask, "What do you think about this?"

3. Ask questions that go beyond "yes" or "no"

If you ask, "Is school good?" the answer can only be "yes" or "no." The conversation doesn't go beyond that. Instead, ask open-ended questions.

• "Tell me what was the best/worst thing that happened at school today?"
• "What do you think of the new friend?"
• "Can you tell me a little about your future hopes?"

When they are asked questions like this, they have to think, explain, and answer. Then the conversation will unfold automatically.

4. Take advantage of every moment you have together, during car rides.

Sometimes it's easier for children to talk while they're doing something else than face-to-face. Talk in the car when you're driving to school or taking them to class. That way, they won't feel as much pressure. Also, you can create opportunities for conversation while playing a game together or doing homework.

5. Get involved and interested in their things too.

If your child is good at a sport, go to watch their games. Attend a school event. Talk about their favorite songs and movies. Ask them about what's going on in the world or what they think about a news story in the newspaper. When you talk about common things like this, the bond between you will grow stronger.

What is the language use and communication like in children of this age?

At this age, between the ages of 13 and 18, children's language skills and communication styles are approaching those of adults. Their vocabulary, sentence structure, and comprehension become more complex.

Words and comprehension

• Understanding metaphors: They can understand not only the direct meaning of words, but also the implied meaning, similes, and metaphors.
• Simply put, we say to the story, "It's like throwing a turtle into the water." It doesn't mean that a turtle was thrown into the water, it means that it was very happy and free. Similarly, English also has idioms . For example, if you say "hit the nail on the head," it means "you said the right thing." If you say "on thin ice," it means "you're in a dangerous situation." They understand things like that.
• It's the same with similes . We say "strong as a rock." They understand things like "tough as nails" and "clean as a whistle."
• Metaphors are the same. When we say "he's a night owl," we mean that he sleeps at night. They can understand things like "she's a night owl," "that place was a zoo," etc.
• Complex sentences: They can understand and use complex syntactic structures. They also understand the importance of things like punctuation.

Communication beyond words

Communication is not just about words. It also reflects how a child thinks about themselves, their relationships with friends, and how they view adults and authority figures.

During this time, they are searching for their own identity. They are trying to develop their own ideas, their own world, away from their family. They are starting to think deeply about right and wrong, and about moral issues. All of this affects the way they talk and interact with others.

When should we seek help from a doctor or specialist?

Often, a child's language or communication problems are identified before this age. However, sometimes new problems can arise at this age, or a pre-existing problem can become apparent.

• Stay in regular contact with school teachers: Talk to teachers about your child's language abilities and learning progress. If teachers suspect a language-based learning disability , they may need to conduct formal tests to investigate.
• These tests may include a hearing test , a psychoeducational assessment (a special test that looks at how the child learns and how their intellectual processes are), and a speech-language evaluation .
• Specific communication problems:
• If your child stutters while speaking, you should refer them to a speech-language pathologist at school (a specialist in speech and language disorders).
• If you have vocal-quality problems, such as hoarseness, breathiness , or cracking, it is a good idea to see an otolaryngologist .

"Is this how it is at this age? Or is it something more?" - How do you recognize it?

As parents, we may feel like it's very difficult to talk to our children and control them these days. In fact, it's normal for children at this age to challenge their parents a little, to try to have their own opinions, and to oppose authority figures. It's part of "teen rebellion," that is, the rebellious nature of youth.

However, if the child's behavior is causing severe disruptions to normal household activities , or if there are frequent fights and confrontations, it may be more than just normal teenage behavior.

If you feel that your relationship with your child is becoming unbearable and that no matter how hard you try, things are not getting better, be sure to talk to your family doctor or a qualified counselor about this. Never hesitate to ask for help.

The most important things to remember (Take-Home Message)

I hope you have gained some insight from what we have discussed. In conclusion, I have this to say:

• Patience is the key: These are challenging times. But be patient.
• Listen: Listen to what your child says and what he doesn't say. Try to understand them.
• Keep the lines of communication open: No matter what the problem, build trust that you can talk to them and they can talk to you.
• This time won't last forever: This challenging time will pass in a few days. But the strong relationships you build during this time will last a lifetime.
• You are not alone: ​​You are not alone in having these kinds of problems. If necessary, seek help from a doctor, a counselor, or a trusted friend.
• Love and understanding: Above all, give your child your constant love, support, and understanding. That is the greatest strength they have to get through this complicated time.

I hope this article has helped you strengthen your bond with your young child!

` Young children, communication, parents, language development, conversation, adolescence, mental health