You can teach your child self-control! Let's talk about this.

You probably feel very worried when your little one suddenly starts crying loudly and struggling in the middle of a shop, or at a party with a lot of relatives, or at home, right? At that time, it is really important to teach children to control themselves and behave properly, not to do whatever they want. This is one of the most valuable things we can give our children as parents.

Why is self-control so important for children?

Simply put, when children learn to control themselves, they are able to make appropriate decisions and behave in a way that produces good results, even when they are under pressure. This ability will greatly help them succeed in life .

Think about it this way. If you say that ice cream will only be served after dinner, your child may cry, beg, or even scream to get you to agree. However, a child who can control himself understands that if he acts out (sometimes we call this a ``Temper Tantrum``) he will not get the ice cream anyway, so it is wise to be patient.

The ability to control oneself is very important for a child's education, social relationships, and mental health.

Now let's look at how to help children control themselves, according to age groups.

Ways to teach children self-control

The way these things are taught changes with the child's age. Let's see how that works.

How do you help children until they are 2 years old?

Babies and young children get frustrated easily because there is a big gap between what they want to do and what they can actually do. That's why they often act out, cry, and struggle. At times like these, it's best to divert their attention . Try to prevent these outbursts by giving them a toy or engaging them in some other activity.

For children approaching the age of two, when they are struggling and screaming, you can leave them alone for a short period of time as a consequence. This is called a ``Time-out''. Put them in a place like a kitchen chair or the bottom step of the stairs for a while. This teaches the child that it is better to be alone and calm down than to behave in a way that is unruly.

For children between 3 and 5 years old

You can also use ``Time-out'' with children this age. However, instead of having a specific time, end the ``Time-out'' when the child is calm . This helps the child develop the ability to control their emotions. It is also very important to praise a child when they control themselves in a frustrating or difficult situation. Say things like, "I'm glad you stayed calm," or "You did a good job not getting angry, son/daughter."

For children between 6 and 9 years old

As children start school, they begin to understand the consequences of their actions and the ability to choose between good and bad behavior. For example, help your child visualize a "stop" sign on the road, reminding them to think before they act. Instead of reacting quickly when they feel upset, encourage them to step away from the situation for a while and calm down . Be sure to praise them when they do. They'll be more likely to use that strategy in the future.

For children between 10 and 12 years old

Children this age are usually quite aware of their own emotions. Encourage them to think about why they can’t control themselves and analyze it. Explain to them that some things that seem upsetting at first may not be so bad after all. Encourage them to take time to think before they react to a situation. Help them understand that it’s not the situation that makes them angry, but the way they think about it. Praise them when they use these ways to control themselves.

For children between 13 and 17 years old (youth)

By this age, children should be able to control most of their actions. However, remind young children to think about the long-term consequences of something. Encourage them to pause and think before reacting when they feel upset, and to talk things out instead of slamming doors or yelling. If necessary, use punishments such as temporarily taking away some privileges to reinforce the message that self-control is an important skill. Later, when they show that they are in control, allow them to regain those privileges.

What do you do when your children get out of control?

As difficult as it may be, resist the urge to yell when you discipline your children. Instead, speak firmly and clearly. When a child is being stubborn, yelling, or slamming doors, stay calm and explain that such behavior is unacceptable, that there are consequences, and what those consequences are.

Your actions should help your child understand that they cannot get what they want through their tantrums.

For example, if your child gets angry at the store after you explain why you won't give them candy, don't give them what they ask for . This will teach them that their stubbornness is unacceptable and that it didn't work.

Also, talk to your child's class teacher about the classroom environment and appropriate behavior. Ask if problem-solving is taught or modeled at school.

Be a good example yourself.

The most important thing is to model good self-control yourself . If something happens to you in front of your children that makes you angry, tell them why you are angry, and then talk to them about possible solutions to the problem. For example, if you lose your keys, instead of getting angry, tell your children that they are lost and that we will look for them together. If you can’t find them, do the next thing that is helpful (like remembering where you last had your keys). Show them through your behavior that good emotional control and problem-solving are the best ways to deal with difficult situations.

If you continue to have difficulty despite doing these things, ask your doctor if you can get help from family counseling services.

The most important things to remember (Take-Home Message)

Okay, so here are some things you need to remember from what we've talked about:

• Teaching children self-control is a big investment in their lives .
• Teach these things in a way that is appropriate for the child's age . Not in a way that a small child can understand, but in a way that a young child can understand.
• Don't forget to praise your child when he or she shows self-control. That's a great encouragement.
• It's important to stay calm when your child gets out of control. Yelling won't solve problems.
• Be a good role model yourself . Children learn more from what we do than from what we say.
• Don't give in to tantrums. If you do, your child will learn that it's a way of working.
• Never hesitate to seek professional help if necessary.

If you keep these things in mind and help your child control themselves with patience and love, you will be able to raise them to be happy, successful children.

` Children, self-control, upbringing, parents, children's behavior, discipline, counseling