As parents, we always try to protect our children from everything. But, unfortunately, sometimes our little ones have to face unexpected things. These things can cause them a lot of pain and distress.
What is Trauma?
Simply put, trauma is any event that deeply affects a child, makes them feel very scared, or causes them harm. Think about it, it could be severe domestic violence, or a major accident, or a sudden natural disaster (like a flood, landslide). Sometimes losing your home and becoming an orphan, losing a parent, or developing a serious illness can also be trauma for a child. These types of events are very serious. Because at this time, the child may feel that their life is in danger, that they are not safe .
How does trauma affect a child?
When something like this happens, the psychological impact can sometimes last for a long time. It can be difficult to recover from. For some children, this condition can even lead to a condition called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) .
But the most important thing is that children can recover from such traumatic experiences. There are therapies that can help. Also, the extra love, affection, and support you as a parent can be very valuable to them at this time.
Now let's see how exactly this kind of trauma affects a child.
Things that are felt mentally
After a trauma, a child's sense of security and trust can be severely damaged. Even after a long time has passed, they may still feel scared and shocked. Some may feel lonely, sad, angry, or guilty. They may even think , "This is my fault." Some children may feel as if their self-esteem and self-respect are being destroyed. Others may experience deep, unbearable grief.
Behavioral and other changes
Trauma can also affect a child's mood, behavior, or sleep . Some children may become very irritable and often sad, a condition called depression . They may be more likely to ask questions than before, and they may be less likely to do well in school. They may develop new fears, and they may have trouble sleeping at night. Some children may have recurring, distressing memories of the event they experienced. We also call these flashbacks . Often, children try to avoid things that remind them of what happened to them.
Why don't some children talk about this?
After a traumatic event, some children share their feelings with others. However, others keep everything bottled up inside. They may try to hide their feelings or push them away. They may think , 'Others expect me to get over this quickly.' Some people just don't know how to put their feelings into words. For whatever reason, as a parent, you may not understand what your child is going through.
How therapy can help you recover
Okay, so let's see what help a child gets from therapy at a time like this.
What you get from therapy
Therapy is a great way for children to safely share their feelings, tell their stories, and get the support they need. In therapy, children learn to talk about what they have been through. They learn coping skills and calming skills that help them stay mentally strong. They also learn to change the way they think and feel about the traumatic event. Gradually, they begin to face things they have previously avoided. Therapy helps children find their own courage and build self-confidence.
Think of it this way: Therapy is like putting medicine on a wounded part of a child's heart, healing it, and helping them to get back up and running again.
Let's learn about Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)
There is a specific method for treating trauma in children called Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) . This involves talking, playing, and learning activities to help the child process the trauma.
This TF-CBT treatment method is also very helpful for parents. In fact, it is very natural for parents to feel sad and upset about what their child has gone through. During therapy, parents also receive the necessary support. They receive advice on how to help their child at home.
In TF-CBT , parents can play a big role in their child's recovery. You are trained to listen in a way that helps your child talk about what's on their mind, ease their burdens, and connect with you. You can help your child practice coping skills at home. As your child gradually recovers, you can share in the joy.
How to find therapy?
Now you might be wondering, 'How do I find this kind of therapy for my child?' It's not that difficult.
- First, talk to your child's pediatrician . Tell him/her about what your child is going through. Remember, the doctor is concerned about your child's physical health as well as their mental health.
- Ask your doctor to refer you to a child psychiatrist , psychologist , or qualified counselor who is trained in this area and can help your child.
- You may have to take your child to therapy once a week for a few months, but gradually you will see positive changes in your child.
How you can help your child at home
After a trauma, children need your support and affection more than ever. Be sure to think about these things:
- Spend time with your child: Do things together that calm, relax, or have fun. Cook together, go for a walk, play, read books, draw, sing songs. If possible, set aside time for this every day, at least for a few minutes. Think about how valuable it would be to spend a little time building a house with your little son in the afternoon, or to read a little story with your little daughter before bed at night.
- Be patient and warm: Use kind words. Praise your child when they do something good or make an effort. Say, " I'm proud of you, son/daughter ." Be patient when your child makes a mistake. Show them how to try again.
- Show love: Let your child feel your love. Hug him, smile, say loving words, show it with caring actions. Comfort him with soothing words when he is sad or upset.
- Establish a calming routine: For a young child, take a few minutes to read a story, hold him/her, or sing a little song before bed (or at any time during the day). For an older child, make it a habit to cuddle him/her and say 'goodnight' before bed, and spend a few minutes talking to him/her, listening to what he/she has to say, or laughing together. These extra minutes with you can go a long way in helping your child feel calm, secure, and at ease .
You might think, "Oh... these are just the little things we usually do." But, giving your child extra support and time like this will help your child feel your love and the close bond you have with them. After a traumatic experience, that closeness is more valuable than ever.
Finally, things to remember
Okay, so from what we've talked about, it's probably clear to you how much trauma a child experiences can affect their little minds. But, the most important thing is:
- Trauma is serious, but children can recover. Don't give up hope.
- Proper therapy, and especially methods like TF-CBT, can be very helpful. So don't be afraid to seek medical advice.
- As a parent, your love, affection, patience, and support are essential to your child's healing journey. You are your child's greatest strength.
- Small things can make a big difference. Spending time with your child, appreciating them, treating them with love – all of this is very valuable.
Remember, you are not alone. There are professionals who can help and guide you on this journey. And, your beloved child can definitely get through this difficult time and be happy again.
` Childhood trauma, mental health, PTSD, TF-CBT, parenting support, children's healing, psychological therapy
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