Are you fed up with yourself? Let's talk about Self-Loathing!

Do you sometimes feel disgusted with yourself? Do thoughts like "I'm not doing anything right", "I look so ugly", "I'll never be good enough" constantly come to your mind? This kind of blaming yourself, belittling yourself, and feeling intense hatred and disappointment towards yourself is what we simply call self-loathing . This is a feeling like hating yourself.

Simply put, what is Self-Loathing?

When you have self-loathing, you often start to criticize yourself harshly about your appearance and the things you do. Every flaw, every mistake you make becomes magnified. You blame yourself for those mistakes. This can make you feel like you're worthless and useless.

When your mind is always thinking about negative things, it's very difficult to see the good things, the positive aspects, in life.

The good news is that we can try to change these thinking patterns. But sometimes it can be difficult to do this alone. So, never hesitate to ask a doctor for help. They can help you feel better and guide you in changing these thinking patterns.

What are the feelings and symptoms of someone with self-loathing?

This condition can affect your emotions and behavior. You may lose interest in things and have less motivation to do good things. For example, you may feel that trying to get a promotion at work is pointless. Or you may not even think about your physical health because of these negative thoughts.

Other symptoms may appear with this condition. Let's look at them clearly.

How do these thoughts come?

These thoughts may feel different to each person. But in general, the main ones are a lack of self-compassion, intense self-blame, lack of self-confidence, and constant stress. The thoughts that come to your mind may be something like this:

These negative thoughts and feelings usually work in a cycle. When a bad thought comes to mind, you feel bad. That bad feeling leads to more bad thoughts. This cycle continues.

Is Self-Loathing a Mental Illness? What Causes It?

No. Self-loathing is not a mental illness. However, it can be a symptom of other mental health conditions. The most common and most common condition associated with this is depression .

There can be many reasons for self-loathing. It is usually something that develops gradually over time.

• Underlying mental health condition: Having a condition such as depression or anxiety.
• Bad experiences in childhood:Constantly being scolded, criticized, or exposed to traumatic events from parents, teachers, or peers.
• Social expectations and comparisons: Comparing oneself to others, thinking, "I can't be like him," "I'm not as beautiful as the other person."
• Perfectionism: Thinking that everything must be done 100 percent perfectly, believing that not even the slightest mistake can be made.
• Low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

What should we do to get out of this situation?

Self-loathing can sometimes be a challenge to manage on your own. Therefore, it is best to talk to a mental health counselor , a doctor, to help you deal with these difficult thoughts and feelings.

They may recommend a treatment approach like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) . Simply put, this is a talking therapy that helps you understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and helps you change those negative thought patterns.

Things you can try on your own

Breaking this cycle of negative thoughts takes time and practice. Here are some tips that can help you:

• Do things that bring you happy memories. When bad thoughts come, do something that can distract you from them.
• Recall a good experience. When you go to do something and think, "I can't do this," remember a time when you did a good job in the past.
• Change your surroundings. Even something as small as hanging a picture of your loved ones near your mirror can make you feel better.
• Break big problems into small steps. Instead of trying to do something big all at once, do it step by step.
• Focus on your effort rather than the outcome. For example, instead of focusing on coming first in a running race, focus on finishing the race.

Another good way to deal with this situation is to talk to the "noob" inside your head. Imagine that there is someone inside your head who tells you everything you do is wrong. Have you ever talked to them? Try this:

1. Say out loud the bad thought that comes to your mind.

2. Ask yourself: "Would I say something like this to one of my best friends?"

3. If the answer is "no",Think about whether you can rephrase this thought in a more helpful, constructive way. (I should use a word like "good" or "creative" instead of "constructive." No, that's in other languages. "Useful" or "positive" is better.) Let's think again: If the answer is "no," think about whether you can rephrase this thought in a more helpful or positive way.

When you talk to yourself like this, you will begin to realize how unfair and unkind you are to yourself. This is a great way to open the door to treating yourself with compassion.

When do you definitely need to see a doctor?

It's normal to have negative thoughts about yourself from time to time. But if these thoughts are taking over your mind and are interfering with your daily activities to the point where you can't function, it's definitely time to talk to a doctor.

Here are some such cases:

• If your eating habits have changed.
• If this is affecting your performance at school or work.
• If your sleep pattern has changed.
• "I'm not feeling well " to avoid social work and responsibilities (I should use "I'm not feeling well " instead of "I'm not feeling well." No, both are wrong. I should use a common Sinhala expression like "I'm not feeling well.") Let's think again: If you say "I'm not feeling well" to avoid social work and responsibilities, you'll often find yourself saying "I'm not feeling well."

Sometimes these self-loathing thoughts can escalate to thoughts of harming or killing yourself . If you start having these thoughts, remember that you are not alone. Help is available. Talk to someone you trust right away. See a doctor right away, or go to the Emergency Department (ETU) at your nearest hospital. This is very important.

Self-loathing, self-hatred, depression, mental health, anxiety, thoughts, CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, doctor's advice