We all know that talking about sex is a difficult topic in our society. Most of the time, when we come across a problem related to it, we keep it bottled up inside. But did you know that these kinds of issues can have a huge impact on your mental health and your relationships? So today we are going to talk about a specialist who can help you at a time like this. That is a sex therapist.
Who is this sex therapist?
Simply put, a sex therapist is a health professional who is specially trained to help you solve mental or emotional problems related to your sex life. This person may be a psychologist, social worker, or doctor. But most importantly, they have special training in sexual health and related issues.
They help individuals or couples resolve their sexual difficulties, performance anxiety, or problems in intimate relationships.
It's important to remember that sex therapists do not treat sexual problems that are caused by physical or medical reasons in your body, such as low testosterone.
Therefore, if you have a sexual problem, it is important to first see your doctor to rule out a physical cause. You may also need to see a gynecologist or a urologist. If there is no physical cause, or if there is a psychological problem along with the physical cause, that is when the help of a sex therapist is needed.
What exactly does a sex therapist do?
Sex therapists work with you through talking. We also call this psychotherapy. That means talking to you, understanding your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, and helping you find the cause of the problem. This happens in a very safe, supportive, and non-judgmental environment.
There are several treatments they commonly use:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This helps you identify and change thought and behavior patterns that are negatively impacting your sex life.
- Emotion-based therapy: Focuses on how you deal with your emotions and how they affect sex.
- Mindfulness-based interventions: Methods that help reduce stress and anxiety by focusing on the present moment.
- Couples communication techniques: Helping you and your partner improve the way you talk about sex and intimacy.
What's more, protecting your confidentiality is a key part of a sex therapist's professional code of ethics, so you don't have to worry about anything you say getting out.
What kinds of problems can you get help from a sex therapist?
The sexual process is a very complex thing. It is affected by all three aspects: emotional, mental, and physical. The sexual response cycle is generally divided into four stages.
1. Desire/Libido: The desire to have sex.
2. Arousal: The body's preparation for sexual activity.
3. Orgasm: The peak of sexual satisfaction.
4. Resolution: The body returning to normal.
Problems can arise at any of these stages. A sex therapist can help with the mental and emotional aspects of these issues.
Let's explain this further in the table below.
| Problem | A simple explanation |
|---|---|
| Decreased sexual desire | Loss of desire or interest in having sex. |
| Lack of enthusiasm | The body is not ready for sexual activity. |
| Difficulty achieving orgasm (Anorgasmia) | Inability to achieve orgasm despite adequate stimulation. |
| Pain during sexual intercourse (Dyspareunia) | Pain caused by conditions such as vaginismus, which is a tightening of the muscles in the vagina in women. |
| Erectile dysfunction | Inability to achieve or maintain an erection. |
| Ejaculation problems | Premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation. |
In addition to this, there are other opportunities to get help.
- To receive accurate education about sexuality and dispel misconceptions.
- Psychological problems caused by past sexual abuse or trauma.
- To manage feelings of fear, shame, and anxiety related to sex.
- Issues surrounding sexuality that arise due to cultural, religious, or social ideologies.
- To improve the conversation about sex between you and your partner.
- Mismatched sexual desire.
- Relationship problems caused by sexual issues.
- If your body image is affecting your sex life.
- Living with and managing sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
- Hypersexual disorder.
- Pornography addiction.
What happens during a sex therapy session?
During a session, you and your therapist work together to identify the thoughts and behaviors that are interfering with your sex life. You can participate alone or with your partner.
The therapist may ask you questions about things like:
- Your health and sex life background.
- The sex education you received.
- Your views and beliefs about sexuality.
- Specific sexual problems you have.
Therapists know that talking about sex can be difficult, so they create an environment where you can talk as easily as possible. Since talking is a key part of this therapy, your active participation is very important.
Sometimes your therapist may give you "homework" to do at home. These are small exercises to do in the privacy of your own home. For example, things you can do to build trust between you and your partner, or exercises to develop intimacy.
One thing to remember: During sex therapy sessions , there is no physical contact or sexual activity between you and the therapist. If you feel uncomfortable with anything in the therapy, you have every right to let the therapist know or stop seeing him/her and file a complaint.
What is the difference between a sex therapist and a sex counselor?
Both of them have extensive training in sexuality, but there is a slight difference in the way they approach the issues.
| Sex Therapist | Sex Counselor |
|---|---|
| Psychotherapy is used to treat simple or complex sexual problems. | The focus is on providing education and teaching methods to solve short-term problems. |
| Goes deep into the problem and looks for emotional and psychological causes. | An action-based approach is followed. |
Talking about sex or related issues can be difficult. But remember, a sex therapist can help you address these issues that are preventing you from living a full and healthy life. They are experts in the field and have up-to-date knowledge of the latest research and treatments that can help you.
Take-Home Message
- It's normal to have sexual problems, and there's no shame in asking for help.
- A sex therapist helps with the mental and emotional side of the problem.
- For any sexual problem, it is essential to first see your doctor to check for a physical cause.
- Therapy sessions are highly confidential, safe , and do not involve any physical contact.
- Improving your sexual health is crucial to your overall well-being and happy relationships.
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