Does a friend/family member have depression? Let's talk about it.

Have you ever noticed that your best friend or family member has changed a lot from the way they used to be? They don't smile as much, they don't talk much, they're always thinking... Sometimes they may be feeling very sad or depressed. But if this situation continues for weeks or months, it's not just sadness. They may be struggling with a condition called depression. So, to help someone like that, today we'll talk about how we should talk to them without hurting their feelings.

First, let's understand what depression is.

Depression is a chronic condition that requires specialist treatment. It is not just a feeling of sadness that goes away in a few days. It is often difficult to recover from this condition without help.

Imagine that a friend of yours used to be very happy and cheerful. But now he is very quiet and likes to stay in his room and be alone. You may or may not have a reason for this. It could be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, etc. But sometimes depression can occur for no apparent reason.

Here are some things we need to know about depression:

• It's not a disease, it's not laziness: Depression is not laziness or a weakness of mind. It's a medical condition that occurs with changes in the chemicals (neurotransmitters) in our brain. That's why they feel like they don't have much energy to do something as simple as getting out of bed and washing their face.
• This is a very common condition: a large number of people suffer from this condition in Sri Lanka as well as around the world. So don't think that your person is alone.
• Other medical conditions can also cause depression: Some physical conditions can also cause depression, such as hypothyroidism .
• It can also be caused by medications: Depression can also occur as a side effect of some medications taken for diseases such as high blood pressure.
• Talk about ending your life: This is something that should be taken very seriously . If someone tells you that they are fed up with life and feel like they are going to die, never take it lightly. It could be a cry for help.

How do we help someone who is depressed?

If you feel like you need to help a friend or family member, here's how to start that conversation.

First, tell him what's on your mind.

Most of the time, we are afraid to talk about this kind of thing. But this is the best time to show your care and love to him. You can talk like this in a very calm and kind voice.

When you ask this question, he will feel that you are looking out for him. Then listen carefully to what he has to say. Ask how you can help. You can also ask if you can help him see a doctor .

Helping you say 'no' and saying 'yes'

We try to encourage them with good intentions, but sometimes the things we say can hurt them even more. So avoid saying things like this.

Simply put, don't compare their feelings to someone else's. Doing so will make them feel like their sadness isn't valid and that it's normal. It will make them feel even more alone.

Be patient and appreciate even small improvements.

People with depression are not always the same. Some days are good, some days are really bad. If they don't want to talk, don't force it. Maybe they just want you to be there without talking.

Also, if they do something small - for example, washing their face after a long time and changing their clothes - don't say it sarcastically. Instead, praise that small effort.

If a harsh word comes out of them...

Sometimes, they may call you out on it, and you may get in their way. Don't take it personally at that time. It's not your friend who's talking, it's their illness. Be patient. Remind them, "I'm always here if you need to talk."

Ways to fight depression

These tips will be important for both you who are suffering from depression and those who are helping someone who is.

• Seek immediate medical advice: This is the most important and first step. For this, meet with a specialist psychiatrist or your family doctor and talk about this. Both medication and counselling are often needed.
• If you have thoughts of suicide, don't suffer alone: ​​tell someone you trust immediately. Alternatively, call the Friends of Sri Lanka or the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) emergency number 1926 for help. They are ready to listen to you.
• Start your day with a little exercise: It doesn't have to be a big deal. Even a 10-15 minute walk in the yard can make a big difference.
• Maintain a routine: Go to bed and wake up at the same time as possible. Eat nutritious meals.
• Do a little bit of the things you used to enjoy: Even something small like watching a movie or listening to a song doesn't matter.
• Avoid alcohol and drugs completely: While these may seem like temporary relief, they can make depression worse in the long run.