Has a friend of yours lost a family member? Shall we talk about this grief?

Imagine that a close family member of your best friend, perhaps a grandmother, grandfather, or even someone even closer, has passed away. That is a very sad and heartbreaking thing, isn't it? Your friend must have been very helpless, shocked, and lonely at that time. You must have thought a thousand times, "Oh, how can I help him at this time? What can I do to ease his pain?" That is really a very valuable thought. So, today, let's talk about what you can do to be strong for your friend and bring a little comfort to his heart during such a difficult time.

What exactly is this grief?

Simply put, grief is the pain and sorrow we feel when we lose someone we love. It's like a huge weight on our hearts. Not everyone feels this weight in the same way. The way each person copes with this grief and responds to it is very different.

Imagine that your friend Sameera's mother has passed away. Sameera may cry a lot, she may express her grief for everyone to see. But, another friend, let's say her name is Netmi, may become very quiet when her father passes away. She may try to be alone, not talk to anyone much. Some children stop playing and having fun for a while at times like this. They lose interest in all of those things. However, there are other children who try to go back to their normal lives as soon as possible. They are eager to go to school, play with friends, and do other activities. There is no right or wrong in all of these ways. Because everyone has their own way of coping with grief.

The most important thing is that grief is not an illness. It is a very natural reaction to the loss of someone we love. It needs time to heal.

Some children like to talk about their feelings. Others don't. Some may express their grief by drawing or coloring. Also, many people like to spend more time with their family at a time like this, receiving affection and comfort from them. Family members should help each other, be kind to each other. Talking about good memories of the person they lost and happy times spent with them can be a great relief. All of these things help to ease the pain.

How can you help a friend in their grief?

When your friend is in this kind of pain, the best thing you can do is just be there for them as a good friend. You may not be able to make them feel better or make them happy right away, but that's okay. You can let them feel their feelings.

1. Just be there, it's a big deal!

You can talk to him and ask, "Shall we go for a walk?" "Shall we play a game?" or "Shall we just be together for a while?" Let him do what he wants. Just being with him is a great source of strength, a great source of strength. You don't have to say anything special, just your presence is enough.

2. Don't force yourself to "be well."

When your friend is sad, trying to cheer them up by saying things like, "Please don't cry," "Don't be sad," or "You need to be strong" will only hurt them more. It's normal for them to feel sad and cry. Allow them to let those feelings out.

3. Give them a chance to talk (but don't force them)

You may feel a little scared or embarrassed to talk about this. But saying something like, "I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandmother" will let her know that you understand her pain. That may help her start talking to you about what's on her mind.

A very kind way is to say: " If you want to talk about this, I'll listen. "

But, if your friend doesn't want to talk about it at that moment, let them know. Don't force them. Just let them know that you're there whenever they need you.

4. Help share good memories

If your friend starts talking about the person they lost, talk about the good times you had together, the funny stories, and the good memories. It can make them feel a little happier and relieved. Sometimes, when your friend cries, you can cry too because you can't hold back your sadness. There's nothing wrong with crying with such a friend. It will make your friendship stronger.

5. Be patient, give it time to change.

Don't expect your friend to be happy and playful like they used to be. It won't happen overnight. As they go through the grief process, some days they won't feel like playing or having fun like they used to. But, the next day they'll be laughing and playing like they used to. Every day can be different. So be patient.

6. Things we should be careful not to say

Sometimes, the things we say without realizing it can hurt our friend even more. For example:

• "Don't cry, you're a boy/girl." (Emotions have no gender.)
• "Everything will be alright in time." (Although this is true, it doesn't bring much comfort at the moment.)
• "He's in a better place now." (This may not feel the same way to everyone, and some may even be offended by it.)
• "I understand how you feel." (We can't really understand another person's pain 100% of the time, so it's better to say something like, "I can imagine how hard it must be for you.")
• Talking only about your own experiences. ("This is what happened when my grandfather passed away..." and then reading about yourself instead of listening to your friend.)

Rather than saying things like this, it's much more valuable to just listen and try to understand him.

When should we be a little more careful?

Usually, grief gradually subsides over time. However, even after a long time,(This can take weeks or months, it varies from person to person.) If your friend doesn't seem to be going back to their old self, is unable to do their regular activities, and is constantly sad and anxious, then you should be a little concerned.

For example:

• If you're not as interested in anything as you used to be.
• If things like schoolwork and play had stopped completely.
• If eating and sleeping have decreased or increased significantly.
• If you always try to be alone and don't talk to anyone.
• If you talk about things like harming yourself.

If you notice something like this, tell your parents, a teacher, or a school counselor about it. This is not a betrayal, but rather a way to let an adult know that your child needs help. They can then provide the support they need, perhaps even professional help.

You too can learn more about Grief.

Seeing your friend going through a difficult time, you may also want to learn more about grief. That's a good thing. You can ask the adults in your life (parents, grandparents, teachers) how they felt when they lost someone they loved, how they got through it, and what helped them. Those experiences will teach you valuable lessons too.

Finally, things for you to remember

So, to summarize what you can do when your friend is feeling sad like this:

• Stay close to your friends. Your presence is a great source of strength for them.
• Listen carefully. If they want to talk, listen without interruption.
• Be kind, be patient, and try to understand their feelings.
• Don't force them. Don't force them to be happy or to talk.
• Invite them to do the usual things, but allow them to do what they want.
• Help them share good memories of the person they lost, if they are willing.
• If you feel anxious, tell a trusted adult.

Remember, your friendship is the greatest medicine and comfort he will receive at this time. Even a little help from you will be a great strength for him to get through this difficult time.

` Sadness, grief, grief, death, friend, help, comfort, mental health, children, counseling