I understand how you feel when your doctor tells you that your mother, father, or someone you love has Alzheimer's disease. It can feel overwhelming and confusing, as if your whole world has suddenly come crashing down. You may be wondering, "What do I do now?" "Where did all this start?" It's very common. But remember, you are not alone. This article is about helping you through this journey and strengthening you.
Alzheimer's is a progressive disease. At first, you may experience memory loss and confusion. Over time, you may need help with everyday tasks. So, it's important to have a plan in place to take on this new responsibility. Let's see how to make that plan.
Step One: Let's Build a Good Team
This is a big responsibility. Don't go carrying this burden alone. It's not something you can do. So, gather a small team of family members, close friends, and people you can trust to help you.
Imagine, your sister could talk to you every day. Your brother could bring you groceries. Your best friend could give you a break once a week and spend some time with your loved one. Think about everyone's strengths, weaknesses, and other responsibilities and share the work. When you share the work this way, you will feel a lot of relief.
Step Two: Let's understand everyday life
Take a good look at your loved one's daily routine. Understand exactly what they can do on their own and what they need help with. You can also get help from doctors and rehab specialists for this.
Look at the table below. See how much of these things he can do on his own.
| Daily activity | Find out if you need help. |
|---|---|
| Cooking and eating | Do you pay attention to safety when using gas and stoves? Do you eat on time? |
| Bathing, cleaning the body, going to the toilet | Can I take a shower alone? Is there a risk of slipping and falling? |
| Dressing | Can you choose and wear suitable clothes? |
| Walking and moving around | Do you fall often? Do you need assistance when walking? |
| Bill payment and money management | Do you forget things like counting money and paying bills on time? |
| Taking medication on time | This is very important. Do you take your medicine on time and properly? Or do you need to prepare a medicine box? |
| Housework | Can you do things like cleaning the house and the yard? |
Step Three: Put the Medical History into a File
This is very important. What other illnesses does your loved one have? What medications does he take? Who are the doctors treating him? What allergies does he have? Do you know all of his previous surgeries, treatments, and test reports?
If you don't know, start collecting all this and creating a big file today. Now that everything is computerized, create a file on your computer with all this information.
Also, keep a copy of that file on a thumb drive (pen drive) with you. This will be a big help if you have to go to the Emergency Treatment Unit (ETU) in an emergency. Also, you need the patient's permission to access their medical information. Therefore, if there is a situation in the future when they are unable to make decisions, talk to your doctor about creating a legal document (`Health Care Proxy`) that gives you the power to make medical decisions.
Step Four: Arrange finances and legal matters
This can be a sensitive topic, as money can be a source of conflict within families. However, it is important to think about the future and get these things in order.
Finances
As the patient's memory declines, it may be difficult to find details about things like bank accounts, investments, and savings. Therefore, gather details about the following:
- Bank account numbers
- Investments and shares (investment holdings)
- Insurance policies
- Total assets
- Outstanding debts
- Ongoing expenses
To do this, your loved one can delegate their financial decision-making power to you. This is called a ``Durable Power of Attorney''. You can consult a lawyer about this.
Legal Plan
- Will: Find an up-to-date copy of their will. If one hasn't been made, or if it needs to be updated, do so as soon as possible. It's important to do this while the patient is still capable of making decisions.
- Living Will: This is also a legal document. A ``Living Will'' is a written document that specifies what medical treatment should be given to a person in the event that they become terminally ill and are unable to express their wishes. You can also discuss this with your doctor and a lawyer to make decisions.
Step Five: Keep the most important documents in one safe place
This is like searching for treasure. But all these documents will be very important to you in the future. Find them all, put them in a file, and keep them in a safe place, like a bank safe (safe deposit box).
| Type of document | Why is this important? |
|---|---|
| Birth certificate, National Identity Card | For legal purposes and to verify identity. |
| Marriage certificate | For assets and legal matters. |
| Car titles, land deeds | To confirm property ownership. |
| List of bank accounts, ATM/Credit Card numbers | For money management. |
| Insurance policies (Health, Life insurance) | To receive treatment expenses and other benefits. |
| All medical records | To plan medical treatment and in case of emergency. |
| Legal documents such as last will and testament, Power of Attorney, etc. | Future decision-making and property management. |
If you try to do all of this at once, you will feel exhausted. So, do these tasks one by one, one by one. It is very important to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. Take a break and find someone to talk to about your feelings. Only when you are strong will you be able to help your loved one the best.
Take-Home Message
- It's normal to feel upset and sad when you learn that your loved one has Alzheimer's disease. But remember that you are not alone.
- Don't take on this responsibility alone. Ask for help from family and trusted friends, and work as a team.
- Make a clear plan for the patient's daily routine, medical information, finances, and legal matters.
- Gather all important documents and keep a computer file and a copy of it on a thumb drive for safekeeping. This will be very useful in case of an emergency.
- While you're taking care of your loved one, take care of yourself too. It's important to take care of your physical and mental health.
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