Do you have times when you feel like you're alone in the world, or when you feel a heavy burden on your heart? It could be depression, or as we all know it, a condition called 'Depression'. But you feel afraid and ashamed to tell even the closest person about it, don't you? Questions like "What will they think of me?", "Will they think this is my weakness?" probably come to mind. But in fact, telling someone you trust about this can be a very important step in your healing journey.
Why do we need to tell someone close to us about this?
Depression is not a weakness in your mind. It is a real illness that needs to be treated, like diabetes or high blood pressure. But many people suffer from it alone. Suffering alone only makes the illness worse.
Imagine the relief you feel when you tell your best friend or family member about this. They may not know much about this disease. But just saying, "I'm with you" will be a great strength for you. It will feel like half of the weight on your mind has been lifted in that moment.
In fact, even psychologists say that talking openly about this to at least one person you trust is a key part of treatment.
But sometimes we are afraid that our people will understand this. Some parents may think, "These are mental problems, illnesses that can be solved by thinking about them." Therefore, you need to think a little about the person you choose to talk to about this. It could be your best friend, a sibling, a life partner, or a very close relative. The most important thing is that that person is someone who listens to you without judging you.
How do you start talking about this?
We know this isn't easy, but these steps will help you.
- Choose a good time: Choose a time when you can both talk freely and without distractions. You can't talk about something like this while the TV is on and you're both on the phone.
- Start simple: No need for a big lecture. Start simple with something like, "I'm going through a tough time these days. I need to talk to you about it."
- Tell the truth, don't hide it: Don't dismiss it as "a minor mood swing." If you have major depression, say so. Be honest about how you feel, such as "I don't feel like doing things like I used to," or "I feel sad and tired all the time."
- Tell them what you expect: Maybe you don't feel like talking. If so, say so. You could say, "I probably don't feel like talking for a long time, but just having you here is a big boost." Maybe you want to go see a relaxing movie or go for a walk. Invite them to come along too.
What to do in case of an emergency?
This is very important . If you feel like you're bored with life, don't keep it a secret . It's not a weakness, it's part of your illness.
Go to the nearest hospital Emergency Department (ETU) immediately. Or see your doctor as soon as possible. If necessary, you can also call the National Poisons Information Centre at the Colombo National Hospital for advice. Your life is precious. It is never too late to ask for help.
How do your people react?
When you tell your loved ones about this, they may immediately get upset, angry, or dismiss it as "crazy, what's that?" Because they may not know about this disease. So be prepared for a variety of reactions.
- "It's something you're thinking, snap out of it": If someone says something like this, you can calmly say, "I'll be the first to snap out of this if I can. I'll get better soon, but please be patient." Later, when you feel better, you can educate them about this illness.
- Giving the wrong advice: Some people may give advice like, "Let's go have a drink" or "You need to be a little tougher." Explain to them lovingly that alcohol is a depressant. Tell them that "tough love" does not work for this disease at all and can make the situation worse.
- Give hope: Saying something like, "I've started treatment for this. The doctor said it will get better in a while," can help ease their fear.
How can your people help you?
Often, your loved ones want to help you, but they don't know how to do it. Here are some practical things they can do. You can tell them these things.
| The Help | What can be done? |
|---|---|
| Practical support | Make sure you take your medicine on time. Take your child with you to see the doctor. When you are unable to talk, talk to the doctor with your permission and find out the details. |
| Monitoring changes | Pay attention to changes in your behavior (good or bad). This information will help you tell your doctor whether the medication is working or not. |
| To be with you. | Even without saying anything, the only great thing is knowing that you are not alone. It is a great relief to know that someone is there when you are feeling sad or anxious. |
| Awareness about the disease | Tell them to educate themselves about depression through the internet, books, or articles like this. Then they will be able to understand you better. |
Finally, don't forget to ask the person who is helping you, "How are you?" Even when you're having a hard time, reminding yourself that you're thinking of someone else is part of the healing journey.
There is no better, safer feeling than knowing that someone is there for you.
Take-Home Message
- Depression is not a weakness on your part, it is a real illness that needs to be treated.
- Talking about this with someone you trust and who will listen to you is a very important step in the healing journey.
- If you are feeling down, don't keep it a secret. See a doctor or go to the hospital's Emergency Department (ETU) immediately.
- Don't worry if your loved ones don't understand this at first. Give them time to learn.
- Let them know about practical ways they can help you. You are not alone.
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