Have you ever wondered how much pressure is hidden behind the sayings like 'men don't cry' and 'men need to be strong'? In fact, depression can affect both men and women. However, the way men experience it and the way they show it can be very different, making it difficult to recognize. Often, men are reluctant to ask for help. So, today, let's talk openly about this problem that silently destroys lives.
Why is depression in men so difficult to recognize?
There are several reasons for this. Just think, from a young age, our society has taught us that ' boys are not good at showing their emotions' and that 'they should be strong'. So, when they feel sad, stressed, or burdened, it is difficult for many men to express it. They are afraid that others will think they are weak, and that this will affect their job and social relationships.
Also, when a man goes to see a doctor, he talks more about his physical symptoms than about his mental health. For example, he says things like, "Doctor, I feel really tired," " I have a headache," "I have a stomach problem." So, because these physical symptoms are common to many other illnesses, you, like the doctor, may think that the cause is not depression, but another physical illness.
What are the symptoms of depression in men?
When we think of depression, we often think of sadness, regret, and crying. But depression in men can manifest itself in a very different way. To understand this difference, see the table below.
| Common symptoms of depression | Commonly seen different characteristics in men |
|---|---|
| Always feeling sad or hopeless. | Excessive anger and aggression for no reason. |
| Not getting pleasure from things that were previously enjoyable. | Violent or abusive behavior towards others. |
| Constant restlessness and fidgeting. | Trying to stay alone, away from family and friends. |
| Feeling worthless. | Thinking negatively about everything. |
| Difficulty concentrating. | Being immersed in work or being overly involved in another activity. |
| Frequent thoughts of death or suicide. | Excessive use of alcohol or drugs. |
| Low energy and constant fatigue. | Risky behaviors that could harm themselves (such as speeding). |
Physical symptoms
Depression doesn't just affect the mind, it affects the body as well. Changes in appetite (loss or increase) and changes in sleep patterns ( insomnia or excessive sleeping) are common symptoms. In addition, men may experience the following:
- Frequent headaches
- Digestive system problems such as heartburn and bloating
- Body aches for no apparent reason
How does depression affect sexual health?
This is a topic that many people don't like to talk about, but it's very important. Depression can directly affect men's sexual desire and performance.
- Almost complete loss of sexual desire
- Erectile dysfunction
- Difficulty reaching orgasm
You may feel uncomfortable talking to your doctor about something like this. But this is very important. Because sometimes some medications for depression can also cause this. If so, your doctor can switch you to a different medication that is more suitable for you and has fewer side effects . Never stop taking your medication without asking your doctor.
What happens if left untreated?
If depression is left untreated, it will only get worse, not better. It can completely destroy your family life, your job, and your social relationships.
The worst thing is that untreated depression can push someone to the point of taking their own life. According to statistics, men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women. This is because men tend to use more violent methods when attempting suicide.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please don't be alone. Seek help immediately. Call the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Sri Lanka's 24/7 helpline number 1926. Someone is on the other side to help you.
Older men and depression
Depression is not a normal part of aging, but some changes that occur with aging can increase the risk of depression.
- Health problems: As you age, you are more likely to develop conditions like diabetes, cancer, stroke, and chronic pain. These conditions and the medications you take for them can cause depression.
- Life changes: Things like retirement, loss of identity at work, deaths of loved ones, and having to care for one's spouse can cause great stress.
- Loneliness: As we age, we may become distant from friends and neighbors. This loneliness and isolation is a major risk factor for depression.
How is depression treated?
This is the most important thing. 8 out of 10 people with depression can be successfully treated. The main treatment methods are:
- Antidepressant medication: Medication prescribed by a doctor.
- Psychotherapy: Seeking treatment by talking to a qualified counselor.
- A combination of both of the above methods.
- In some severe cases, there are even treatments that stimulate the brain, such as Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS).
Remember, depression is a condition that can be successfully treated with treatment. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of how you treat yourself and your strength.
The best place to get help is your family doctor . Or you can go to a Psychiatry Clinic at a government hospital.
Take-Home Message
- Depression in men often doesn't manifest itself as sadness, but can manifest through different symptoms such as anger, aggression, and risky behavior .
- Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength.
- If there is a clear change in your behavior, emotions, sleep, or eating patterns over a few weeks, definitely see a doctor.
- Depression is a treatable condition. With proper treatment, you can make a full recovery.
- If you or someone you know is suffering from suicidal thoughts, please call the helpline 1926 (NIMH) immediately.
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