Do you feel isolated and lonely because of your disability? It’s normal to feel that way sometimes. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Consider this story. Jessie is a young woman who was paralyzed from the waist down after a motorcycle accident. At first, she was very worried, but her life changed when she met another person who also used a wheelchair. “He told me about everything he did. He had a partner, he worked, he played in the water… It gave me a lot of confidence,” Jessie says. That confidence gave her the strength to dream of becoming an athlete, a mother, and a business owner again.
So, if you have a physical challenge like this, you can still live a happy, confident, and social life. Let's see what you can do about it.
First, get to know yourself right now.
A physical disability, especially if it's a new experience, requires you to give yourself some time to adjust to it, says Dr. Jennifer Hankenson, a physical therapist and rehabilitation medicine specialist at Yale School of Medicine.
"That doesn't mean you should hide. Instead, start to slowly come out into society , with your closest and most trusted people, in a way that feels comfortable to you, safe to you."
If you use a wheelchair, prosthetic limb, or other assistive device, first familiarize yourself with its limitations, capabilities, and risks. As Dr. Hankenson says, trying these things out "in a safe environment, with safe people" before going out in public builds your confidence.
If you are having trouble adjusting to this new life, be sure to talk to your doctor about it. Perhaps an occupational therapist can help you learn how to deal with these practical issues.
Be mindful of mental health challenges as well.
In addition to physical barriers, people with disabilities often suffer from identity issues. That is, a change in their sense of "who am I?" This can affect their desire or ability to be social, according to clinical psychologist Mary Schrammer.
Some people think: " 'I don't want people to see me like this. I'll go out when I'm well enough.' " These thoughts make them feel even more alone. They also limit their ideas about what they can do.
But the most important thing is to overcome this fear. You have to ask yourself:
- "What things do I value in my life right now?"
- "How can I find joy in those things?"
- "What are some alternative ways I can enjoy my hobbies and socializing with people, even with my disability?"
Mental health counseling is a great resource at times like these. Group therapy or private therapy can help you overcome these obstacles and find guidance to live your best life. Talk to your doctor about this as well.
Find activities and hobbies that suit you.
If you're a sports fan, there are plenty of adaptive sports available. Your options may be limited depending on where you live, but do a simple search online for "adaptive sports near me." You can also ask your doctor or occupational therapist about programs in your area.
People like Jessie engage in a variety of activities, including water sports, snow sports, wheelchair curling, hand-cycling, swimming, archery, and mountain climbing. She uses wheelchair skills learned from her physiotherapist to set up camps and travel along mountain trails that are not normally traveled.
Look for fun trips that are easy to get to and from.
If you're not that into sports, many places like theme parks, zoos, and museums are wheelchair accessible. Here are some more tips to help you find ways to socialize more easily.
| Tip | What you can do |
|---|---|
| Travel planning | Search the internet for wheelchair-friendly travel guides and destinations. |
| Holiday packages | Look for vacation packages that accommodate people with disabilities, including cruises. |
| Someone to help | When you travel or go out, enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member. |
| Asking others | Ask other people with disabilities like you about the places they like to socialize. |
Air travel can sometimes be inconvenient, so if you need a wheelchair or other assistance, it's best to let the airline know in advance .
Join people with similar experiences as you.
It can be difficult to talk openly with others about some of the practical difficulties people with disabilities face (for example, difficulties with defecation and urination). As Jessie says, "When you're with other wheelchair users, you can talk openly about those things without judgment. Because we're all in the same place."
The Internet and social media are a great place to find people like you. But it can also be a "dangerous place," warns Dr. Hankenson. So, before joining unfamiliar groups, ask your doctor or a trusted community member about them, and only join well-established support groups.
As you connect with this community, you will realize that you are not alone in this life. From them, you will learn many tricks, shortcuts, and new things that can make this life easier.
Take-Home Message
- Give yourself time to adjust to your physical condition. It's a slow process.
- Just like your physical health, your mental health is also extremely important. If you are feeling mentally distressed, don't hesitate to seek counseling.
- Don't give up on your hobbies. Find ways to make them adaptive to your new situation.
- The strength and understanding you gain from connecting with people who have gone through similar experiences as you is invaluable. Find trusted support groups.
- Talk openly with your doctor about any physical or mental problems. They will give you the right guidance.
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