How to deal with your toddler's misbehavior? (Toddler Behaviour Management) Let's talk about this!

Oh, aren't these little kids amazing? How many new things do they learn in a single day, how many new games do they start! Everything in their world is new and full of surprises. But as they learn these new things, there are times when they get us, that is, moms and dads, into a bit of trouble. If you have a naughty little one at home, you are probably familiar with these things. Today, let's talk about the behavior patterns of these little kids, why they behave the way they do, and how we can calmly and lovingly guide them at those times.

Why are our toddlers so naughty? Is this normal? (Understanding Toddler Behaviour)

The most important thing we need to understand first is that it is very normal for a small child, between one and a half and three to four years old, that is, a child of 'Toddler' age , to be naughty, to be stubborn, and sometimes to behave in ways that make us angry. This is part of their growth, that is, 'Development' .

Just think, at this age they start walking, running, and jumping on their own. They touch everything they want, put it in their mouths, and throw it. This is a time when they are finding their 'independence' . They are starting to get the feeling that "I can do what I want." Also, they are not yet able to control or express their emotions - happiness, sadness, anger - properly. They don't know many words. So, they express these emotions in the way they know how. Sometimes it can be screaming, rolling on the floor, or throwing something.

Important: Many of these behaviors are normal stages of a child's development. However, they cannot all be ignored. Proper guidance is essential.

Why do our children behave like this? What are the reasons?

There are several reasons why a child behaves in a particular way. When we understand them, it becomes a little easier for us to deal with them.

• Testing Boundaries: Young children are like little scientists. They're always wondering, "What will happen if I do this?" "Will mommy scold me?" "Can I do this?" They may be testing the limits of your patience. This is their way of learning about the world.
• Attention Seeking: Sometimes children will misbehave to get your attention. They understand that if they make a noise or move something, mom and dad will come running. If they get attention for their bad behavior, they will be tempted to do it again and again.
• Difficulty Expressing Needs/Feelings: Young children have difficulty expressing their feelings, such as when they are hungry, tired, angry, or sad, through words. So they show these feelings through their behavior. For example, if you take your child to the store when he is very tired, he may cry or throw up.
• Brain Development: Young children's brains are still developing. In particular, the frontal lobe, which controls emotions, thinks logically, and helps them make decisions, is not fully developed at this age. That's why they can suddenly get angry and become stubborn.
• Curiosity and Desire to Learn: Young children are naturally very curious. Everything is new to them. That's why they touch, pull, and put everything in their mouths. This is how they explore the world.

What can we do to encourage good behavior and control bad behavior?

Okay, now we know why little kids behave this way. So, what can we do to improve their good behavior and reduce their bad behavior? Here are some tips:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Children need boundaries. It makes them feel safe and helps them understand how the world works.

• Set simple rules: Make a few simple, understandable rules, like "We don't throw toys." "We don't hit others."
• Be consistent: One rule one day and another the next doesn't work. Both parents need to agree on the same rules. The child needs to know that these rules apply at all times.
• Be kind but firm: When a rule is broken, calmly and clearly tell your child that it is wrong, without yelling. "Son/daughter, we don't draw on the wall. Here's a piece of paper for you to draw on."

2. Praise and Encourage Good Behavior - Positive Reinforcement

This is the most important thing! When your child does something good, be sure to see it and appreciate it.

• Give specific praise: "You put away the toys nicely, that's great!", along with what the child did well. This is more effective than just saying "good boy."
• Appreciate even the little things: Even if your child listens to something you say and is patient, appreciate it.
• With physical affection: When praise is accompanied by a small hug, kiss, or pat on the head, the child feels it even more.

This method of 'Positive Reinforcement' is very successful.

3. The Art of Distraction

When a young child is trying to disobey, it is very helpful to quickly redirect his attention to something else.

• Example: Imagine your little one is crying while asking for a toy at a store. At that moment, quickly try to divert his attention by saying, "Oh, look at that beautiful bird outside!" Or, say something like, "Shall we go home and listen to your favorite song?"
• This 'distraction' method works wonders, especially at a young age.

4. Offer Choices

When children feel like they have control, they are less likely to act out of control.

• Give them simple choices: "Do you want to drink from the red cup or the blue cup?" "Shall we play this game or that game?" But limit the choices to two or three. If you give them too many, they'll get confused.
• This also develops their decision-making ability.

5. Consistency is the most important thing!

The rules you set and the responses you give should always be the same. If you respond one way today and another way tomorrow, the child will become confused.

• Mom, dad, and other adults in the house should all follow these things the same way.
• Consistency is something that gives children a sense of security and helps them learn about the world.

What do you do when those tantrums come?

Ah, this is one of the biggest challenges that many parents face! Tantrums are a common occurrence in the world of young children. But what do we do when they do?

1. Stay calm: This is easier said than done. However, if you get angry, your child may become even more aggressive. Take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down. Remember, this is not something your child is doing to you on purpose, it is something that happens because they can't control their emotions.

2. Ensure the child's safety: If the child is struggling in a way that could harm him/herself (e.g., hitting his/her head on the floor), take him/her to a safe place. Remove sharp objects and breakable objects.

3. Ignore the Behavior, Not the Child: If the child is safe, sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore the behavior. If you give it attention, it will likely happen again. However, don't completely leave the child alone. Let them know that you are there and ready to talk when they are calm.

4. After the tantrum: When the child has calmed down, hold him/her and talk to him/her in a loving way. Say something like, "You're really angry, aren't you?" and let him/her know that you understand his/her feelings. But, don't give him/her what he/she asked for (don't let him/her win the tantrum).

5. Try to prevent tantrums before they happen: If your child seems tired or hungry, meet those needs quickly. Sometimes tantrums come for small reasons like these.

A little story: Imagine you are in the supermarket, and your baby suddenly asks for a chocolate and rolls on the floor. People are watching. You are very embarrassed and angry. However, if you shout and hit the baby at that moment, the situation will only get worse. As calmly as possible, take the baby and walk away. Say something like, "No chocolate now, son, let's go home and eat." If he continues to cry, no matter what others think, you stand your ground.

How can we as parents stay calm? (Parental Self-Care)

This is also very important. When we take care of children and deal with their mischief, we also get tired and angry. We need to take care of ourselves too.

• Take a break for yourself: Set aside a little time each day for yourself. Do something you enjoy.
• Ask for help: Don't be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, and friends.
• Sleep: Get as much sleep as possible. Sleep deprivation can make you more irritable.
• Exercise: Getting even a little exercise is very good for mental health.
• Remember that you are not alone: ​​every mother and father goes through these experiences.

When to Seek Medical Advice?

Although most of the time these behaviors are normal in young children, there are some cases where it is necessary to seek the advice of a doctor or child psychiatrist.

• If the child frequently behaves in a very aggressive manner (hitting others, biting, destroying things).
• If the child tries to harm himself.
• If the child's behavior interferes with his daily activities (eating, sleeping, playing).
• If your child's behavior is causing a lot of stress for the rest of the family, and you can't take it anymore.
• If you think your child has a developmental delay (speech delay, social difficulties).

In this case, see your family doctor. He or she can refer you to the right specialist, for example, a child psychologist or a developmental pediatrician . Don't be afraid, asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

The most important things we need to remember (Take-Home Message)

Raising a child is not easy. It's like a roller coaster ride; there are happy, loving days, but also days when you're tired and angry.

Remember:

* Most of your child's mischievous behaviors are a normal part of their development.

* Love, patience, and consistency are your best weapons.

* Praise and encourage good behavior.

* Set clear boundaries, and be consistent with them.

* Try to stay calm during a tantrum.

* Take care of yourself too. You can only take good care of your child if you are well.

* Don't hesitate to ask for help if needed.

Every moment spent with your little one is precious. They grow up so fast. So, accept this naughty time as a beautiful part of their growth and may you find the strength to guide them with love!

Toddler Behaviour, Parenting, Discipline, Tantrums, Child Development