Are you also stuck in a 'clique' at school? Let's talk about how to deal with these 'cliques'!

We all like to be with friends. When we hang out with friends, talk, play, or just spend time together, we feel incredibly happy, don't we? When we are with such a group, many things in life seem to be easier, we feel like we have security. There are some groups of friends, and they are very open to others, and they are very flexible. They welcome anyone who comes and says, 'Come and join us.' However, the groups called 'cliques' that we are going to talk about today are quite different. They are very restrictive, and they clearly show that not everyone can join them. They have an attitude like 'this is our group, it's forbidden for others.' But I have good news for you, most of the time, these 'cliques' disappear by the end of school. So, until then, let's talk a little about these 'cliques' and how to deal with them?

What's the difference between a normal group of friends and a so-called 'clique'?

Okay, now let's see how these two types differ from each other. If you understand this, a lot of things will become clear to you.

Normal groups of friends are formed based on things we all have in common, like the sports we play, hobbies , classes, or the area we live in, and sometimes family connections. Imagine you're on the chess team at school, and you just become friends with the other guys on that team, right? That's how it is. People in such a group can freely associate and talk with people outside the group. No one will ostracize or exclude them for doing so. They may not do everything together - and that's okay. Maybe your chess friend doesn't play cricket, but that's not a problem. They respect each other.

However, although cliques are sometimes formed on the basis of common interests, most of the time their main focus is on their own 'status' or 'popularity'. Imagine a group at school who thinks they are the 'coolest' group. The way they dress, the way they talk, the places they go... they are trying to show that 'we are on top' with all this. These 'cliques' are usually controlled by a group of leaders. They are the ones who decide who is 'in' and who is 'out'. The people in this 'clique' do a lot of things together. If someone makes a friend outside the group, they may be rejected or even made fun of. You may hear things like, 'Oh... do you talk to that person too? He doesn't fit in with our group.' Sometimes these 'cliques' can be very cruel, and they take pleasure in marginalizing others.

Simply put:

• Groups of friends:
• It is built on things like shared interests, sports , activities, classes, neighborhoods, and family connections.
• The group members have the freedom to interact with outsiders. No one needs to be afraid of being left out.
• You don't have to do everything together. That's normal.
• It is usually open to new people to join.
• 'Cliques':
• Although it may be based on common sense, most people look at 'status' or 'popularity'.
• A group of people, like leaders, are in control. They decide who gets 'in' and who gets 'out'.
• The team members do a lot of things together.
• If you associate with someone outside the group , you are more likely to be rejected and ridiculed.
• It's very difficult for new people to join, and most of the time they don't even let them.

What helps you deal with these 'cliques'?

Whether you're in or out of a 'clique' like this, these things can make your life a little difficult. But don't worry, there are ways to deal with this. Let's see what they are.

Know yourself – along with your reputation.

Imagine that you are in a clique. First, ask yourself, do you want to be in this group because you want to be accepted, because you feel lonely, or because you really agree with their ideas and values? Sometimes we get into the wrong group without realizing it, don't we? Has your group of friends become the kind of group you don't like? For example, have they become a group that laughs at others and marginalizes them rather than helping others? Do people look at you in a good or bad way based on the friends you associate with? Is it like, 'That kid in that group is really nice,' or 'Oh, that naughty one who annoys others'? How does this make you feel? Can you be proud of the way you and your friends treat others? Ask yourself these questions. It's like looking at yourself in a mirror. The most important thing is to live according to your heart.

Keep doing things that make you happy.

Don't let any group influence you to give up on the things you love, or waste your time and money on things that are not important to you. Imagine that you love to draw, but the people in your 'clique' laugh at it and say, 'What's that for?' Don't stop drawing because of that. Engage in things that make you feel valuable and belong. Because, when you are good at something, when you do something you love, you feel very confident and happy about yourself. That is what 'self-esteem' is called. So, you may be good at sports, sing, play an instrument, draw, or participate in drama. Or join various academic clubs at school - science club, literary club, debate club, etc. These things will not only make you feel good about yourself, but you may also meet new friends who like the same things as you. There are places you can volunteer outside of school. Visit places like animal shelters, hospitals, nursing homes, or community gardens. We also feel great when we help others.

Keep your friendships open and diverse.

Being confined to the same group of friends can limit your world. Imagine being with the same group of people all the time. Then you won't get new ideas, you won't learn new things, and you won't realize how many different people there are in the world. So make friends with people from different places, with different backgrounds, and who like different things. Maybe the quiet kid in your class is a very talented artist. Your older sibling next door may have experiences you can't even imagine. It's when we interact with different people that we learn about life and people. Find people who fit your ideas, goals , and behavior. The support of good friends is a great source of strength when you are sad or worried, like a lamp that lights up in the dark.

Stand up for yourself and others.

Be sensitive to other people's feelings. Don't give in to negative peer pressure. Don't do something that you don't think is right, even if others are doing it. Remember, true friends will never pressure you or make unnecessary demands. They will respect your decisions. If you or someone you know is being bullied – whether it's in person or online – definitely tell your parents, a school counselor, or a teacher. This is nothing to be ashamed of, your safety is the most important thing. Limit the time you spend with people who gossip about others or treat others badly. If you see someone behaving this way, stand up for them if you can. Sometimes, just one word from you can make a big difference.

Be careful about what you post online.

Social media has become a big part of our lives these days. So, be careful of online groups and cliques that use social networking sites. Through these, people can invite only a few of their favorite friends to a party, or leave nasty comments, posts, and marginalize others. Some even create fake profiles to annoy others. Therefore, it is wise to keep your profile private. Think twice about the posts and photos you post. Think about whether these will ever become a problem for you. Cyberbullying is another dangerous aspect of these cliques.

What else do you want to know about these 'Cliques'?

There's something else you need to know. Sometimes the people in the clique themselves want to leave. Because they don't want to be stuck in the rules of the group, alienate others, and hurt people. Not everyone is in a clique with bad intentions, and sometimes they get caught up in it without even realizing it. Maybe they're afraid that if they leave, they'll be alone.

So, instead of worrying too much about which social group you belong to, try to be a good friend to everyone. That means being respectful, caring, honest, and kind to others. Be the kind of friend you want to have. The most important thing is to be yourself, to live by your values. When you are true to yourself and honest, good friends will surround you.

Finally, some important things for you to remember

Okay, so there are a few things you should take to heart from what we've talked about. These are like signs pointing the way for you on your journey.

• Never forget who you are and what your values ​​are. Don't change yourself to fit into a 'clique'. Your heart knows right from wrong.
• Find true friends. Surround yourself with people who support you, understand you, and help you bring out the best in yourself. Friendship is a beautiful bond between two people, it can't be a pressure.
• Treat others with kindness and respect. Don't be afraid to stand up for someone if you see them being marginalized. Even a small help from you can be a big help to someone.
• Be careful in the online world too. Protect your privacy. Think about the people who see everything you post.
• Remember, many of the cliques you have in school will fade away after a while. Life is much bigger than that. So don't let this be the end of the world. Think about your future, your happiness.

You are a very valuable person. Don't let any 'clique' diminish your value! Be yourself, and the world will love you.

Cliques, friends, school friends, groups, marginalization, social relationships, youth , mental health , bullying