There are days in our lives when no matter what we do, we feel no joy or relief. Only bad, negative thoughts keep coming into our heads. About work, about friends, about problems at home... You probably feel like all of this is a big burden on your mind at times. This is actually something common to all of us. We all get depressed at times. It's very normal.
But the problem is, when these bad thoughts keep coming and starting to swirl in our minds, what do we do then? Let's talk about this in a little more depth.
When do bad thoughts become dangerous?
While it's normal to have negative thoughts, it's not something to take lightly. Research has shown that if someone has symptoms of depression or anxiety , these persistent negative thoughts can lead to serious emotional and physical problems.
An occasional negative thought won't do much harm. But if these thoughts keep coming to mind over and over again, for days at a time, it can quickly become mentally draining. Especially if you have thoughts like these, it could be a red flag:
- "It'll never work out for me."
- "This is how it always happens."
We need to be a little more careful about thoughts that use words like "never" or "always."
Simply put, we call it "Ruminating" when we keep thinking about the same bad event or thought over and over again. It's like a cow ruminating, ruminating on the same thing over and over again. This is the most dangerous thing. Starting with one bad thought like this, it can get caught up in a chain of other bad thoughts, and eventually drag us into an unimaginable amount of stress.
So how do you recognize when these thought patterns in your mind are doing you more harm than good? Ask yourself these questions:
- Have these thoughts affected your relationships ?
- Has this interfered with your job or activities?
- Have you turned to alcohol or drugs to relieve this pressure?
- Has this situation persisted for more than two weeks ? Do you feel like you can't escape this cycle of being stuck in your mind?
- Are you having thoughts of ending your life ? You should seek help immediately, especially if you have made even a small attempt to do so (e.g., writing a suicide note, collecting pills).
If your answer to these questions is "yes", the best thing to do is to meet with a trusted doctor (doctor) and talk about this.
What are some practical ways to free your mind?
There are several ways we can try to break free from the grip of these negative thoughts. Many of these fall under a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) . Simply put, this involves re-thinking the way we think. A psychiatrist or psychologist can help you with this.
But, before seeing a doctor, here are a few things you can try on your own.
| Possible method to try | Simply put... |
|---|---|
| Accept feelings. | It's normal to feel sad when you lose a loved one or a job. Accept that "I'm sad." Understand that feeling is natural. |
| Identify the thought exactly. | What is the main thought that is bothering you? Break it down into pieces. If you think, "I'm a failure," ask yourself, "Why do I think that?" Treat that thought like an object you've picked up and examine it. |
| See the fairness of thought | Step back a bit, remove your emotions, and think rationally. What evidence supports your view? What evidence is there against it? If you feel like you're doing everything wrong, ask yourself, "Are there things I'm doing right?" |
| Look at it from another angle. | Is there another way to look at this situation? For example: "Couldn't losing my job have been a benefit to me? Maybe it's paving the way for something better." Consider that obstacles strengthen character, and losses build resilience. |
| Think "So what?" | This means that the problem you are facing is not that big of a deal compared to everything else in the world. People get back up after relationships break down. That's what life is all about. Look at the problem from a distance. Don't make hasty decisions. |
Other things that can help
In addition to these methods, there are other simple things you can do to help.
- Distraction: Things like exercising, reading a book, doing a puzzle, or talking to a friend can help you take your mind off of the problems that are bothering you for a while.
- Writing: Writing down what's on your mind on paper is also a great way to clarify your thoughts. Sometimes the answer may be right in front of your eyes.
- Friends and family: When you're feeling down, it's important to have your friends and family around you and not push you away. Asking, "You seem to have a lot of questions on your mind," or offering suggestions like, "Wouldn't it be better if we thought about this this way?" can be a big help.
The most important thing is to never hesitate to seek professional help. Perhaps the key to controlling these negative thoughts lies not in what we think, but in how we think.
There are some people who always look at the world from a "glass half empty" perspective. That is, they see everything as flawed, as bad. But they think that the way they think is absolutely right. As a doctor, my job is not to argue with them or force them to see the world differently.
The question I ask someone like that is, "Okay, how does it make you feel to think that way? If your goal in life is to be happy, to have good relationships, does thinking that way help you reach those goals?"
Take-Home Message
- It's normal to have bad, negative thoughts, but ruminating on the same things over and over again is harmful to mental health.
- If your thoughts contain words like "always" or "never," and those thoughts are affecting your life (relationships, work), they could be warning signs.
- If this condition lasts for more than two weeks or you have thoughts of taking your life, don't waste time and see a doctor immediately.
- You can try CBT techniques for yourself, such as identifying your thoughts, examining their validity, and looking at them from a different perspective.
- Exercise, hobbies, and talking to someone you trust can also help ease your mind.
- The ultimate goal should be to develop a mindset that helps you be happier and healthier.
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