Ukukhula Kwakho Kolutsha: Ngaba Uyazazi Ezi Nguquko?

Ngaba uvakalelwa kukuba umntwana omncinci owayesoloko ekunamathela aze amamele yonke into oyithethayo utshintshe ngequbuliso? Ngaba uyacaphuka kuyo yonke into, ahlale egumbini lakhe aze avale ucango, athethe ngabahlobo, aze angakuphulaphuli oko ukuthethayo? Ungakhathazeki. Le yinto efunyanwa ngabazali abaninzi. Umntwana wakho ngoku ugqibile ubuntwana kwaye ufikelele kwinqanaba elibalulekileyo kuhambo lwakhe oluya ebudaleni. Oku sikubiza ngokuba "kukufikisa". Ukuba siyazi kakuhle utshintsho olwenzekayo ngeli xesha, singenza olu hambo lube lula kumntwana nakuwe.

Ngamafutshane, yintoni ubutsha?

Ixesha lokufikisa lixesha lokutshintsha phakathi kobuntwana nobudala. Ngeli xesha, umzimba womntwana wakho, ingqondo, iimvakalelo, kunye nobudlelwane bakhe nabantu butshintsha kakhulu. Olu tshintsho ngamanye amaxesha lunokuba ngokukhawuleza. Isantya solu tshintsho siyahluka ukusuka kumntwana ukuya komnye. Eli linokuba lixesha elinomdla nelinzima kumntwana wakho. Kungeli xesha apho umntwana wakho eqala ukuzimela kancinci kancinci kuwe aze afumanise ukuba ungubani.

Utshintsho olukhulu lomzimba

Sibiza utshintsho olwenzeka emzimbeni womntwana ngexesha lokufikisa ngokuthi "kukufikisa." Olu tshintsho lomzimba lubangelwa ziihomoni ezithile eziveliswa yingqondo yomntwana ngeli xesha.

Ngeli xesha, umntwana ukhula ngequbuliso eba mkhulu. Oku sikubiza ngokuba yi-'(Growth Spurt)'. Kwakhona, ukubila kuyanda, kuvela amabala, kwaye iinwele zomzimba (amakhwapha, iindawo zabucala) ziyakhula. Ngokwesiqhelo, oku kukhula ngokukhawuleza kumantombazana kwenzeka kwangethuba kunakwamakhwenkwe. Amantombazana akhula ngokukhawuleza phakathi kweminyaka eli-10-14, ngelixa amakhwenkwe ekhula ixesha elininzi phakathi kweminyaka eli-14-17.

Makhe sijonge la mahluko aphambili kwitheyibhile.

Ukuba ukufikisa kuqala kwangethuba kakhulu (ngaphambi kweminyaka esi-8 kumantombazana, ngaphambi kweminyaka esi-9 kubafana) okanye emva kwexesha kakhulu (ukuba intombazana ayinazo iimpawu xa ineminyaka eli-14, ukuba inkwenkwe ayinazo iimpawu xa ineminyaka eli-15), qiniseka ukuba ubona ugqirha wakho. Ukungazinaki ezi meko kunokuchaphazela ukukhula kwamathambo omntwana wakho kunye nokuphakama kwawo.

Utshintsho lwengqondo olwenzeka ngaphakathi kwengqondo

Ngexesha lokufikisa, ingqondo yomntwana ikhula ngesantya esiphezulu kakhulu kunangexesha lobuntwana. Xa umntwana esemncinci, unokucinga kuphela ngezinto azibonayo nanokuzichukumisa. Oko kukuthi, unokucinga kuphela ngokuthi "Nantsi indlela ezibonakala ngayo."

Kodwa njengoko befikelela kwinqanaba lokufikisa, abantwana baqala ukucinga ngaphaya koko. Bayakwazi ukucinga ngeendlela ezinzulu nezicacileyo, ezinje ngokuthi "Kuthekani ukuba oku akwenzeki?" kunye nokuthi "Kutheni ezi zinto zenzeka ngolu hlobo?" (Ukucinga Okufutshane). Oko kukuthi, bayaqonda ukuba kusenokubakho inyaniso engaphaya koko bakubonayo. Nangona kunjalo, kusekho amaxesha apho bakwimeko apho bathi, "Oko ndicinga ukuba kulungile."

Kutheni ngequbuliso besenza umsebenzi onobungozi?

Oku kungenxa yokuba inxalenye engaphambili yengqondo yomntwana, i- "Frontal Cortex" , yeyona yokugqibela ukukhula ngokupheleleyo. Kuthatha malunga neminyaka engama-25 ukuba le nxalenye ikhule ngokupheleleyo.

Le nxalenye yengqondo ilawula imisebenzi yethu yokulawula . Ngamafutshane:

• Ucwangciso
• Ukubeka phambili izinto ezibalulekileyo
• Ulawulo lweempembelelo

Ngenxa yokuba le nxalenye isakhula, umntwana wakho ngamanye amaxesha unokulingeka ukuba enze izinto ngaphandle kokucinga, athathe umngcipheko (umz., ukukhwela ibhayisekile nabahlobo, ukuzama izinto angazaziyo) , aze abe notshintsho rhoqo kwimo yakhe .

Xa umntwana okwishumi elivisayo esenza izinto ngokungxama ngaphandle kokusebenzisa le nxalenye yangaphambili yengqondo, ibizwa ngokuba yi-"Hot Cognition". Ukwenza izigqibo ngokusekelwe kwiimvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, ukwenza izigqibo ngokusekelwe kwingqiqo kunye nokucamngca kubizwa ngokuba yi-"Cold Cognition". Abazali banokunceda umntwana wabo ukuba asuke kule "Hot Cognition" aye kwi-"Cold Cognition". Endaweni yokufundisa, mamela oko umntwana akutshoyo ngovelwano, ubuze imibuzo, kwaye umkhuthaze ukuba acinge.

Utshintsho Lweemvakalelo Nezentlalo

Ngeli xesha, abantwana bafunda ukuqonda nokulawula iimvakalelo zabo kunye nezabanye. Baqala ukufumanisa izakhono zabo kunye neempawu zabo. Abanye abantwana bayazamkela ngovuyo ezi ngxaki zintsha. Kodwa abanye banokufuna uncedo olungakumbi kuwe ukuze bakhe ukuzithemba.

Ukuzithemba kwakhiwa njani?

Olu tshintsho emzimbeni, kwiihomoni, nakwiimvakalelo luchaphazela ngokuthe ngqo ukuzithemba komntwana. Basenokuziva beneentloni ngemizimba yabo njengoko befikelela ebuntwini, nokuba bangaphambi okanye emva koontanga babo. "Ukungabandakanywa phakathi kwabahlobo" kubaluleke kakhulu kubo ngeli xesha.

Nantsi indlela umntwana azakha ngayo ukuzithemba kwakhe:

• Ndenze impazamo.
• Ukufunda kwezo mpazamo.
• Ukuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo zabo.

Uhambo lokufumana ukuba ungubani kunye noluntu

Eyona nto inkulu umntwana ayenzayo ngexesha lokufikisa kukufumana ubuwena bakhe. Nangona olu hambo lulobomi bonke, luqala ngeli xesha. Kunye nolu phando lobuwena kuza umzabalazo wokuzimela . Ungazibona ezi zinto:

• Ukubonisa umdla kubantu besini esahlukileyo kunye nobudlelwane bothando.
• Amathuba okuba bacele uncedo kuwe xa benengxaki ayancipha.
• Ukuchitha ixesha elincinci nawe kodwa ixesha elingakumbi nabahlobo.
• Ngamanye amaxesha, iimeko ezifana noxinzelelo, usizi, kunye nokudakumba zinokubakho. Ezi zinokuphazamisa umsebenzi wesikolo kwaye zikhokelele ekuziphatheni okuyingozi.

Iyintoni impembelelo yeendaba zoluntu?

Impembelelo yeendaba zoluntu kulutsha lwanamhlanje ayisiyonto incinci. Kukho izinto ezilungileyo nezimbi kakhulu koku.

• Ukuxhaphaza kwi-intanethi: Ukuthotywa nokuthukwa ngabanye abantu kwi-intanethi.
• Ukuthelekisa: Ukuphoxeka nguwe ngokuthelekisa ubomi bakho nobomi "obugqibeleleyo" obuthunyelwa ngabanye kwi-Instagram nakwiTikTok.
• Umxholo ongafanelekanga: Ukuchanabeka kumxholo ongafanelekanga ngokweminyaka nonobundlobongela.
• Ukulahlekelwa zizakhono zokwenene zentlalo: Ukuthetha kwi-intanethi akufani nokuthetha ubuso ngobuso. Amandla okuqonda imbonakalo yobuso kunye nolwimi lomzimba ayancipha.

Konke oku kunokubangela ukungabi nantlonipho, ixhala, kunye nokudakumba emntwaneni.

Utshintsho olulungileyo nolungalunganga kunye nokuziphatha

Ngeli xesha, imbono yomntwana ngehlabathi iyaqina. Bayaqonda ukuba ayizizo zonke izigqibo "ezimnyama okanye ezimhlophe." Baqala ukuzibuza ukuba kutheni abanye abantu besenza izigqibo ezahlukeneyo kunabo, nto leyo ephuhlisa uvelwano . Bafumana ukuqonda okunzulu kokuba kutheni ihlabathi linemithetho. Baphuhlisa izimvo zabo malunga nokulungileyo nokungalunganga. Ngeli xesha, banokuqala ukucinga nzulu ngonqulo. Nanini na xa ufumana ithuba, thetha nomntwana wakho ngale mixholo. Njengoko ufunda ngendlela umntwana wakho acinga ngayo, yabelana ngezimvo zakho.

Ungenza ntoni njengomzali?

Ukufikisa kunokuba lixesha elinzima kuwe nakumntwana wakho. Kodwa ukuba nobabini nizama ukuqondana, ninokuthintela ikhaya lenu ekubeni yindawo yemfazwe. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda:

• Mamela ngononophelo: Xa umntwana wakho ethetha nawe, yibeke ecaleni into oyenzayo (ukujonga ifowuni yakho, ukubukela iTV) okomzuzwana uze unikele ingqalelo epheleleyo kwinto ethethwa ngumntwana wakho.
• Hlala uzolile: Mamela oko kuthethwa ngumntwana wakho, uze umxelele ukuba uyaqonda. Nokuba ukuziphatha kwakhe akulunganga, zama ukuqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo.
• Thetha ngentlonelo: Thetha nomntwana wakho ngembeko nangobubele, njengokuba ubuya kwenza kumntu ongamaziyo. Ithoni yelizwi lakho imisela ithoni yencoko yonke.
• Musa ukuvala nayiphi na into: Nika umntwana wakho ukuzithemba kokuba angathetha nawe ngayo nantoni na. Yiba ngumzali "ovulelekileyo/ofikelelekayo".
• Musa ukumhlazisa umntwana wakho: Musa ukuhleka xa unemibuzo okanye izimvo ocinga ukuba zizinto zobuntwana. Endaweni yoko, mamela izimvo zabo uze uveze ezakho ngokunyaniseka.
• Nceda wakhe ukuzithemba: Mncome umntwana wakho ngemizamo yakhe. Mkhuthaze ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi ayithandayo (hayi leyo uyithandayo). Sihlala sizilibala izinto ezintle ezenziwa ngumntwana size sigxile kwizinto ezimbi. Xa umntwana wakho ebona into entle, mncome kwaye umkhuthaze ukuba enze okufanayo.
• Makhe ndiphikisane noluvo lwakho:Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana baphikisane nezimvo zakho nendlela owenza ngayo izinto. Ukuba bafuna ukuphuhlisa ubuwena babo, kufuneka bafunde ukucinga ngokuzimela ngawe.

Icebiso elincinci kubantwana

Ukuba kukho umntwana okwishumi elivisayo ofunda eli nqaku, ndinento endifuna ukuyithetha nawe:

• Musa ukujonga abazali bakho njengeentshaba: bayakuthanda kakhulu. Nokuba awuvumelani nendlela abakubonisa ngayo oku, mhlawumbi bacinga ukuba kungenxa yenzuzo yakho.
• Baqonde nabo: Zama ukuqonda ukuba abazali bakho nabo ngabantu abaqhelekileyo abaneengxaki zabo, iimfuno zabo kunye neemvakalelo zabo.
• Yabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho: Kulula ukuba bakuqonde ukuba ubaxelela into oyicingayo.
• Feza uxanduva lwakho: Ukuba ufeza uxanduva lwakho ekhaya nasesikolweni, abazali bakho abayi kucinga kabini ngokukunika inkululeko oyifunayo.
• Baphathe ngentlonelo abazali bakho: Baphathe ngentlonelo nangobubele abazali bakho ngendlela obunokubaphatha ngayo abazali babahlobo bakho.

Ixesha lokufikisa lixesha elinomdla nelibangela uxinezeleko njengoko umntwana wakho etshintsha abe ngumntu omdala. Olu tshintsho lwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uhambo aluhambi kakuhle. Ukusuka kutshintsho lomzimba ukuya kutshintsho lweemvakalelo, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukubaxhasa kwaye ube lapho ngenxa yabo njengoko befumanisa ukuba bangoobani nendawo yabo ehlabathini.