Ngaba wakha wazibuza ukuba ingakanani ingcinezelo efihliweyo emva kwamazwi anje 'amadoda akakhali' kunye 'amadoda kufuneka abe namandla'? Enyanisweni, ukudakumba kunokuchaphazela amadoda kunye nabafazi. Nangona kunjalo, indlela amadoda ahlangabezana ngayo nako kunye nendlela abakubonisa ngayo kunokwahluka kakhulu, okwenza kube nzima ukukuqonda. Rhoqo, amadoda ayathandabuza ukucela uncedo. Ngoko ke, namhlanje, masithethe ngokukhululekileyo ngale ngxaki etshabalalisa ubomi buthule.
Kutheni kunzima kangaka ukuyiqonda ingxaki yokudakumba kumadoda?
Kukho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zoku. Cinga nje, kwasebuntwaneni, uluntu lwethu lusifundise ukuba ' amakhwenkwe akakwazi ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo zawo' kwaye 'afanele abe namandla'. Ngoko ke, xa eziva elusizi, exinezelekile, okanye ethwele umthwalo, kunzima kumadoda amaninzi ukubonakalisa oko. Boyika ukuba abanye baya kucinga ukuba babuthathaka, kwaye oku kuya kuchaphazela umsebenzi wabo kunye nobudlelwane babo nabantu.
Kwakhona, xa indoda isiya kugqirha, ithetha kakhulu ngeempawu zayo zomzimba kunokuba ithethe ngempilo yayo yengqondo. Umzekelo, ithi izinto ezinje, "Gqirha, ndiziva ndidiniwe kakhulu," " Ndinentloko ebuhlungu," "Ndinengxaki yesisu." Ngoko ke, ngenxa yokuba ezi mpawu zomzimba ziqhelekile kwezinye izifo ezininzi, wena, njengogqirha, unokucinga ukuba unobangela asikokudakumba, kodwa sisifo esithile somzimba.
Zithini iimpawu zokudakumba kumadoda?
Xa sicinga ngoxinzelelo, sihlala sicinga ngosizi, ukuzisola, kunye nokukhala. Kodwa uxinzelelo kumadoda lunokuzibonakalisa ngendlela eyahlukileyo kakhulu. Ukuze uqonde lo mahluko, jonga itheyibhile engasezantsi.
| Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zoxinzelelo | Iimpawu ezahlukeneyo eziqhele ukubonwa kumadoda |
|---|---|
| Ndihlala ndiziva ndilusizi okanye ndingenathemba. | Umsindo ogqithisileyo kunye nobundlobongela ngaphandle kwesizathu. |
| Ukungonwabi ngezinto ebezimnandi ngaphambili. | Ukuziphatha ngogonyamelo okanye ukuxhaphaza abanye. |
| Ukungazoli rhoqo kunye nokungakhathali. | Ukuzama ukuhlala wedwa, kude nosapho nabahlobo. |
| Ukuziva ungento yanto. | Ukucinga ngendlela engafanelekanga ngayo yonke into. |
| Ubunzima bokugxila. | Ukubandakanyeka kakhulu emsebenzini okanye ukubandakanyeka kakhulu komnye umsebenzi. |
| Iingcinga ezihlala zihleli ngokufa okanye ukuzibulala. | Ukusetyenziswa kakhulu kotywala okanye iziyobisi. |
| Amandla aphantsi kunye nokudinwa rhoqo. | Iindlela zokuziphatha ezinobungozi ezinokuzilimaza (ezifana nokubaleka ngesantya esiphezulu). |
Iimpawu zomzimba
Uxinzelelo aluchaphazeli ingqondo kuphela, luchaphazela nomzimba. Utshintsho ekutyeni (ukulahlekelwa okanye ukwanda) kunye notshintsho kwiindlela zokulala ( ukungalali okanye ukulala kakhulu) ziimpawu eziqhelekileyo. Ukongeza, amadoda anokufumana oku kulandelayo:
- Intloko ebuhlungu rhoqo
- Iingxaki zenkqubo yokugaya ukutya ezifana nokutshixiza kwentliziyo kunye nokudumba
- Umzimba uqaqamba ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo
Uxinzelelo luyichaphazela njani impilo yesondo?
Le yingongoma abantu abaninzi abangathandiyo ukuthetha ngayo, kodwa ibaluleke kakhulu. Ukudakumba kunokuchaphazela ngqo iminqweno yesini yamadoda kunye nokusebenza kwawo.
- Ukulahlekelwa phantse ngokupheleleyo ngumnqweno wesondo
- Ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile
- Ubunzima bokufikelela kwi-orgasm
Ungaziva ungakhululekanga ukuthetha nogqirha wakho ngento efana nale. Kodwa oku kubaluleke kakhulu. Kuba ngamanye amaxesha amanye amayeza okudakumba nawo anokubangela oku. Ukuba kunjalo, ugqirha wakho unokukutshintshela kwelinye iyeza elifanelekileyo kuwe kwaye alinazo iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ezininzi. Ungaze uyeke ukuthatha amayeza akho ngaphandle kokubuza ugqirha wakho.
Kuza kwenzeka ntoni ukuba ayinyangwa?
Ukuba ukudakumba akunyangwa, kuya kuba kubi ngakumbi, kungabi ngcono. Kunokutshabalalisa ngokupheleleyo ubomi bosapho lwakho, umsebenzi wakho, kunye nolwalamano lwakho nabantu.
Eyona nto imbi kakhulu kukuba ukudakumba okunganyangwanga kunokunyanzela umntu ukuba azibulale. Ngokwezibalo, amadoda anamathuba amane okuzibulala kunabafazi. Oku kungenxa yokuba amadoda adla ngokusebenzisa iindlela ezinobundlobongela xa ezama ukuzibulala.
Ukuba uneengcinga zokuzenzakalisa, nceda ungabi wedwa. Funa uncedo ngokukhawuleza. Fowunela iNational Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) inombolo yoncedo yaseSri Lanka ethi 1926 iiyure ezingama-24 ngosuku, iintsuku ezisixhenxe ngeveki. Kukho umntu ongakwelinye icala oza kukunceda.
Amadoda amadala kunye nokudakumba
Ukudakumba akuyonto iqhelekileyo yokwaluphala, kodwa ezinye iinguqu ezenzekayo xa umntu ekhula zinokunyusa umngcipheko wokudakumba.
- Iingxaki zempilo: Njengoko ukhula, unamathuba amaninzi okuba neemeko ezifana nesifo seswekile, umhlaza, isifo sohlangothi, kunye neentlungu ezingapheliyo. Ezi meko kunye namayeza owaselayo zinokubangela ukudakumba.
- Utshintsho ebomini: Izinto ezifana nomhlalaphantsi, ukulahlekelwa bubuntu emsebenzini, ukufa kwabantu obathandayo, kunye nokunyamekela iqabane lakho kunokubangela uxinzelelo olukhulu.
- Ubulolo: Njengoko sikhula, sinokuba kude nabahlobo kunye nabamelwane. Olu bulolo kunye nokuzihlukanisa yeyona nto iphambili ebangela uxinezeleko.
Iphathwa njani i-depression?
Le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Abantu abasi-8 kwabali-10 abanesifo sokudakumba banokunyangwa ngempumelelo. Iindlela eziphambili zonyango zezi:
- Amayeza okudakumba: Amayeza abhalwe ngugqirha.
- Unyango lwengqondo: Ukufuna unyango ngokuthetha nomcebisi ofanelekileyo.
- Indibaniselwano yazo zombini ezi ndlela zingasentla.
- Kwezinye iimeko ezinzima, kukho nonyango oluvuselela ingqondo, olufana ne-Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) okanye i-Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS).
Khumbula, ukudakumba yimeko enokunyangeka ngempumelelo ngonyango. Ukucela uncedo akubonisi ubuthathaka, luphawu lwendlela oziphatha ngayo wena kunye namandla akho.
Eyona ndawo ifanelekileyo yokufumana uncedo ngugqirha wosapho lwakho. Okanye ungaya kwiKlinikhi yePsychiatry kwisibhedlele sikarhulumente.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukudakumba kumadoda akusoloko kuzibonakalisa njengosizi, kodwa kunokubonakala ngeempawu ezahlukeneyo ezinje ngomsindo, ubundlongondlongo, kunye nokuziphatha okuyingozi .
- Musa ukoyika ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho. Ukucela uncedo akulophawu lobuthathaka, luphawu lwamandla.
- Ukuba kukho utshintsho olucacileyo kwindlela oziphatha ngayo, iimvakalelo zakho, indlela olala ngayo, okanye indlela otya ngayo kwiiveki ezimbalwa, ngokuqinisekileyo bonana nogqirha.
- Ukudakumba yimeko enokunyangeka. Ngonyango olufanelekileyo, ungachacha ngokupheleleyo.
- Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo unengxaki yokuzibulala, nceda utsalele umnxeba kumnxeba woncedo 1926 (NIMH) ngoko nangoko.
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