Are you having problems with your sex life? Let's talk about a sex therapist!

Sex is a very important thing in our lives. But sometimes, various issues and problems can arise in this regard. When that happens, some people suffer without telling anyone out of shame and fear. But did you know that there are specialists who can help with these kinds of things? Those are the ones we are going to talk about today, the `Sex Therapists`.

Who is this Sex Therapist?

Simply put, a `Sex Therapist` is a licensed health professional who understands the mental and emotional barriers that affect your sex life and helps you find solutions to them. Think about it, sometimes we can't have sex or lose interest because of fear, anxiety, or a previous unpleasant experience. That's what these people help with.

A ``Sex Therapist`` can be a social worker, a general practitioner, or even a psychologist. But most importantly, they must have special training in sexual health and sexual problems. They cannot just give this advice to anyone. They work with individuals or couples to help them solve sexual difficulties, for example, fear of sexual intercourse (performance anxiety ) or problems in intimate relationships (intimacy issues).

What does a sex therapist do?

Now let's see what exactly a `sex therapist` does.

They help treat a variety of sexual dysfunctions, mainly those that are caused by psychological factors or that are influenced by psychological factors. They also help with problems related to sex life and relationships. All this is done in a supportive, non-judgmental, respectful, and safe environment.

But here's something very important to remember. Sex therapists do not treat physical conditions that affect sexuality. For example, they cannot treat low testosterone . So, if you are having any problems with your sexual function, you should first see your family doctor, a gynecologist (if you are a woman) or a urologist (if you are a man) to determine if there is a physical cause.If there is no physical cause, or if there is a psychological effect along with the physical cause, then the help of a `Sex Therapist` is needed.

Sex therapists use a number of scientifically proven treatments to improve people's sex lives. They often use something called psychotherapy. Simply put, this is talk therapy. It involves talking about your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, understanding them, and trying to make the necessary changes. There are several types of psychotherapy used in sex therapy :

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Emotion-based therapy
• Mindfulness-based interventions
• Couples communication techniques

Another thing is, `Sex Therapists` are very protective of your privacy and confidentiality. In fact, it is part of their professional code of ethics. Therapists who violate patients' confidentiality can lose their professional license.

What should you see a sex therapist for?

Sexual activity (not just intercourse, but also outercourse and masturbation) is a complex experience that involves all three aspects: emotional, mental, and physical. If you have a desire to have sex, a healthy sexual function is an important part of your quality of life. It is linked to physical and mental well-being, as well as relationship satisfaction.

Health workers and sex educators divide sexual activity into four main stages. This is called the sexual response cycle:

• Desire/Libido: This means the desire to have sex, the desire to have sex.
• Arousal/Excitement: The body's readiness for sexual activity.
• Orgasm: The peak of sexual satisfaction.
• Resolution: The process by which arousal subsides and the body returns to normal.

Sexual problems can arise at any stage of this cycle. Knowing how you respond mentally and physically at each stage can not only improve your sexual experience, but also help you identify the causes of sexual dysfunction.

A sex therapist can help with the mental and emotional aspects of various sexual dysfunctions. Here are a few examples:

• Lack of sexual desire.
• Lack of sexual arousal.
• Difficulty reaching orgasm (anorgasmia).
• Pain during sexual intercourse (dyspareunia). For example, pain caused by vaginal tightness (vaginismus).
• Difficulty getting or maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction).
• Premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, or other ejaculation problems.

In addition to this, a `Sex Therapist` can help you with many other challenges:

• Providing correct sex education and dispelling misconceptions.
• Experiencing sexual assault or sexual trauma.
• Feelings of anxiety, fear, or shame related to sex.
• Problems caused by cultural, religious and social views on sexuality.
• Improve communication between you and your partner about sex and intimacy .
• Mismatched sexual desire between partners.
• Relationship problems due to sexual difficulties.
• Poor body image and how it affects sexuality.
• Living successfully with Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).
• Hypersexual disorder or sex addiction.
• Pornography addiction.

What happens during a sex therapy session?

Okay, now let's see what happens during a `Sex Therapy` session, that is, when you go to see the therapist.

During these sessions, you and your sex therapist work together to identify and change the thoughts and behaviors that are interfering with your sex life. You can meet with your therapist alone, or you can go with your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or sexual partner.

Your therapist may ask you questions about things like:

• About your health and sexual background .
• About the sex education you have received.
• Your beliefs and attitudes about sex .
• What specific sexual problems do you have?

It's true that talking about sex can sometimes be awkward and embarrassing. Sex therapists know this very well. That's why they try their best to create an atmosphere where you can talk freely and without fear.

Remember, since psychotherapy is all about talking, you need to be an active participant in the process. The trust and rapport between you and your therapist are essential to the success of this treatment.

Your `Sex Therapist` may give you `homework`.You can also give. That is, activities and exercises that you can do at home, in a way that protects your privacy. These can be things like ``experimentation``, for example, ``role playing``. Or they can be exercises that you do alone or with your partner to build trust and intimacy.

One thing you should definitely know here is that during `Sex Therapy` sessions, there will be no physical contact or sexual activity between you and the therapist. That is not possible. If you feel uncomfortable with any aspect of the therapy, be sure to tell your therapist. Or, you have the right to stop seeing him or her and file a complaint about it.

What is the difference between a Sex Therapist and a Sex Counselor?

You may have heard of the two terms `Sex Therapist` and `Sex Counselor`. Both of these are people who have received extensive training in sexuality. In countries like the United States, both of these people must be certified by an organization called `American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). In Sri Lanka, they must have recognized qualifications for this as well.

The difference lies in the way these two approach sexual issues.

• Sex Therapist: They use psychotherapy, or talk therapy, to help with sexual problems. These problems can be simple or complex. They get to the root of the problem and look for mental and emotional causes.
• Sex Counselor: They take a somewhat action-based approach. They provide education on short-term problems, teach various techniques, and often focus on imparting knowledge and giving practical advice.

How to become a sex therapist?

Becoming a `Sex Therapist` is not easy. It requires significant education and training. The general path is something like this (this may vary slightly from country to country):

• Bachelor's degree: A basic degree from a university.
• Master's degree or Doctoral degree: A master's degree or doctorate in a related field, such as psychology or social work. In addition, you will need to have clinical experience.
• Special training: Training in psychotherapy is mandatory. Also, you need to complete a number of hours of study courses related to sexuality education (e.g., about 90 hours).
• License: You must obtain a proper license to practice sex therapy in the relevant country or state.

You can see from this that this is more than just advice, it's a deeper, more professional level. It usually takes at least nine years to become a certified `Sex Therapist`. This includes everything from a basic degree, a postgraduate degree, and clinical training. So this shows how dedicated these people are to this field.

What is the message we want to take home from this story?

Talking about sex and sexual problems can sometimes feel difficult, embarrassing, or scary. That's normal. But remember, you're not alone.

A `Sex Therapist` is someone who can help you understand these types of sexual obstacles, overcome them, and live a full, healthy life.

They are experts in this field. They have a good knowledge of the latest research and the best treatment strategies that can help you.

Therefore, if you have any problems related to your sex life, don't keep it to yourself and suffer, but don't be afraid to seek help from a properly qualified `Sex Therapist`. It is a great help that you can do for yourself.

` Sex therapist, sexual problems, mental health, sex counseling, psychotherapy, sexual dysfunctions, relationship problems