It's normal to feel scared, sad, and shocked when you find out that someone you love, whether it's your mother, sister, wife, or best friend, has breast cancer. "Oh my God, what do I do now? How can I help her?" You may be thinking the same thing. But don't worry. This is a difficult time. But if you deal with it the right way, you and your loved one can come out of this journey stronger.
How can you help your loved one directly?
At a time like this, we all want to help. But we can't figure out exactly how to help. Here are some simple, practical tips.
1. Be a good listener and stick together.
Sometimes what they don't want is a big deal, just someone who listens to what's on their mind. Listen to what they have to say. If they're scared or sad, let them vent. Rather than saying things like, "Don't think that way," it's a lot stronger for them to say, "It's normal for you to feel that way, and I'm with you."
Also, whenever possible , take it with you to your doctor's appointments. But before you go, ask him, "Can I come with you?" If you have any questions, write them down on a small piece of paper. Then you can ask the doctor everything clearly. That way, you will also have a better understanding of the disease and the treatment .
2. Understand behavioral changes
Breast cancer treatment is not easy. The side effects of the medications, the fatigue caused by the treatment, and the stress that comes with the whole experience can change their behavior a lot.
- Quick to anger: You can get angry over even the smallest things.
- Depression : You may feel sad and anxious all the time.
- Excessive fatigue: You may feel so tired that you can't do anything.
This is not their fault. This is part of the illness and treatment. Therefore, it is very important for you to be patient and understanding with them.
3. Encourage them to do things on their own.
Instead of letting them do everything for you, encourage them to do things on their own as much as they can. For example, make a cup of tea, read a book, or do a little housework. When they do even small things like this themselves, they feel like, "I can still control things." It helps their mental strength a lot.
4. Ask others for help
Don't try to do all this alone. If you do, you will quickly become exhausted and depressed. Ask for help from other family members and trusted friends. Many people are willing to help, but they don't know what to do. You can delegate small tasks to them.
- Tell them to prepare a meal for the day.
- Go shopping and ask them to bring you the necessary items.
- Ask for help to go see a doctor.
- You'll be asked to stay with the patient for a few hours, so you can take some rest.
Take care of yourself too, it's very important!
While you're looking after your loved one, it's important to take care of yourself. Remember, you can only help them if you're strong and healthy. As they say in an airplane emergency, "Put your oxygen mask on first, then help the others." This is no different.
Here are some things to help you take care of yourself.
| What you need to do | The benefit of it |
|---|---|
| Keep a positive attitude. | If you try to see everything in the dark, you will quickly become depressed. Thinking about the good things will give you and the patient strength. |
| Accept what you can't control. | There are some things we can't control. Instead of worrying about those things, focus on the things we can control. |
| Exercise regularly. | Even something as simple as walking for 30 minutes every day can help reduce your stress and revitalize your body. |
| Sleep well, rest. | Your body needs enough rest because it's mentally and physically tiring. Try to get a good night's sleep every day. |
| Do something that calms you down. | Set aside a little time each day to do something that frees your mind, such as listening to a song, reading a book, doing some gardening, or meditating. |
| Stay away from alcohol and drugs. | Although these may seem like temporary solutions to reduce stress, in the long run they only create more problems. |
Getting help from a support group
Sometimes you may feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. But that's not true. There are support groups where families of cancer patients can come together to talk and share experiences.
- When you join a group like this, you can share your burdens, sorrows, and problems with someone else.
- When you talk to others who have had similar experiences, you realize that you are not alone . That is a great strength.
- You can also learn new things from how others deal with these kinds of problems.
Ask the doctor or nurses at the hospital where your loved one is being treated about this. They will be able to direct you to the right place.
Take-Home Message
- Listen carefully to your loved one. Understand their feelings and be their strength.
- Understand that their behavior may change due to treatment and stress. Be patient.
- While you're helping your loved one, take care of yourself too. Your physical and mental health is very important.
- Don't carry this burden alone. Ask for help from family and friends.
- If you are feeling stressed, talk about it. If necessary, seek help from a support group.
- Always discuss any medical matters and medical conditions only with the patient's doctor .
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