Many parents have a great desire and dream of adding a son or daughter to their family. Sometimes it may be to complete the family. Other times, it may be due to the cultural background of the family. Also, there are some genetic diseases that are inherited only by one sex. To protect the child from such diseases, some parents think specifically about the gender of the child. Whatever the reason, many people have the question, “Is there really a way to choose the gender of the child we are going to have?” Let’s talk about this today.
What does medical science really say about this?
Simply put, if you conceive a child through normal sexual intercourse, the chances of having a boy or a girl are 50/50. That means two equal chances . But many people are looking to see if they can increase this probability a little in their favor.
But here's a concern that doctors and health experts are expressing. That is, some parents have high hopes for these methods and are deeply disappointed if they don't live up to their expectations. Imagine, what if you follow a certain method hoping for a son, but you end up with a girl? Or what if you have a son as you hoped, but he doesn't have the qualities you imagined? In such cases, that disappointment can affect the child's future and mental health.
So the most important thing to remember is that none of these methods can be guaranteed to be 100% effective. Some popular methods may simply be based on myths.
Actually, there are some "games" that our grandparents used to play. Doctors laugh at them and say, "If those methods don't harm the mother and baby, it's okay to try them."
Are natural methods really effective?
The most famous natural method of choosing the sex of a child is the Shettles method . It was introduced decades ago by Dr. Landrum B. Shettles. This method is based on the day of ovulation and the position of sexual intercourse.
What is the Shettles method?
According to Dr. Shettles, the sperm that produces a male child (with the Y chromosome) are smaller, faster, and have a shorter lifespan. On the other hand, the sperm that produces a female child (with the X chromosome) are larger, slower, and have a longer lifespan.
So according to this theory, he proposes something like this.
| If you want | Method to follow (according to the Shettles method) |
|---|---|
| A boy | Sex should be as close to the woman's ovulation as possible . This allows the faster Y sperm to reach the egg before the X sperm. Also, positions that place the sperm close to the cervix (e.g., rear entry) are best. |
| Girl | You should have sex two to four days before ovulation. When the egg is released, the shorter-lived Y sperm will have died, leaving only the longer-lived, more resilient X sperm. It is said that the missionary position, with the man on top, is the best position. |
Although the Shettles Method is reported to be about 75% successful, some obstetricians and gynecologists question the success rate of these natural methods. They say that the chances of having a baby with or without these methods are no more than 50/50.
However, there is a completely different opinion to this. Dr. J. Martin Young, a doctor, says that the Shettles method is actually successful in a low percentage of about 39%. He presents an opinion that contradicts Shettles' opinion.
- If you want a girl , have sex as close to ovulation as possible .
- If you want a boy , have sex a few days before ovulation.
You see, there is no consensus among various experts even about these natural methods.
What are High-Tech Methods?
There are also several modern techniques that claim to provide more effective results than natural methods. These are expensive and not available everywhere.
MicroSort method
This is currently the most widely accepted and effective method of sex selection. It involves using a special dye, laser light, and a machine called a flow cytometer to separate X- and Y-sperms. The desired sperm is then artificially implanted into the woman's uterus. This method is often done with In Vitro Fertilization ( IVF ) .
According to reports, this method has a 91% success rate for those hoping for girls and a 73% success rate for those hoping for boys .
Controversial Methods
There are two other methods, but there are major ethical and legal issues surrounding their use.
1. Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD): This involves testing embryos that develop outside the mother's uterus through IVF before they are implanted in the uterus, and selecting only the embryos with the desired gender for implantation.
2. Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS): This method can determine the sex of the fetus by examining the chromosomes of the fetus early in pregnancy.
The most important thing: Both PGD and CVS are actually designed to test for serious genetic diseases. Using them to select the sex of a healthy child is considered unethical in many countries. There have been reports of some people having an abortion when they discover that they have conceived a child of the wrong gender through these methods. Therefore, medical associations do not recommend using these methods for the purpose of balancing the family.
Take-Home Message
- Typically, you have a 50/50 chance of having a son or a daughter.
- Although there are natural methods, such as the Shettles method, their success has not been scientifically proven 100%, and there are varying opinions even among experts.
- Although modern techniques such as MicroSort are more successful, they are very expensive, complex, and not easily available in our country.
- Methods such as PGD and CVS are primarily designed to detect genetic diseases. Using them for gender selection is highly controversial.
- Before trying any method, keep your expectations realistic . It is important to avoid the stress that comes with disappointment.
- Remember, having a healthy child is more important than the gender of the child.
- Before trying any method in this regard, be sure to talk to your doctor and get proper advice.


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