Does this happen to your elderly loved ones? (Elder Abuse) Let's talk about this!

When you look at your elderly parents, grandparents, or other family members, do you sometimes wonder if something is wrong with them or if someone is neglecting them? Although it's something you don't want to think about, the various forms of abuse that occur to the elderly, known as elder abuse, are a topic we need to talk about. Because sometimes, these things can happen to them without us even realizing it.

What is Elder Abuse?

Simply put, elder abuse is the intentional physical or emotional harm, neglect, or misuse of someone over the age of 60. This can cause them great harm and suffering. Imagine how unfair it is for someone who has served their children and society throughout their lives to have this happen to them in their old age.

This abuse can happen anywhere, to anyone. Sadly, it is often the people closest to the elderly who commit this abuse. It could be a family member, a caregiver, or someone who thinks they can be taken advantage of. If you or someone you know is experiencing this, you should definitely report it to the authorities.

Are there different types of this abuse?

Yes, these types of abuse can come in many forms. Let's look at the main types:

• Physical abuse: This is direct physical harm. Think of things like pushing, hitting, kicking, or holding someone in a place against their will. This can cause them to hurt or be in pain.
• For example, in some homes, an elderly parent is locked in a room and the door is locked, not allowed to come out. Or, if they don't listen to what they say, they are beaten and kicked. This is physical abuse.

• Sexual abuse: This is a very bad thing to think about. It involves forcing someone to engage in sexual activity, or to watch or participate in such activities. We need to remember that this can happen to adults too.

• Neglect: This is the intentional failure to provide the basic needs of an adult – such as food, shelter, medicine, clothing, etc. Neglect is when someone who is supposed to care for them fails to provide these things properly.
• Imagine, an elderly mother has diabetes mellitus, and she needs to take medication for it every day. But if the person taking care of her does not give her medication on time, it is neglect. Or, not cleaning someone who is bedridden properly, not feeding them on time, falls under this category.
• There is also something called self-neglect . That is, some adults reach a point where they are unable to take care of themselves. They don't bathe themselves, they don't eat, they don't take their medicine. This is also part of neglect.

• Financial abuse or exploitation: This is something that is increasingly common in our society. This includes stealing money or property from adults, forging checks with their signatures, using their bank cards, or taking their pensions, social security benefits, etc. for your own benefit.
• Sometimes, an elderly person is intimidated, coerced, or given false promises to take their land or house. All of this falls under financial abuse.

• Psychological abuse: This is something that may not be physically hurt, but it can cause a lot of emotional pain. This includes yelling at someone, threatening them, speaking in a frightening way, isolating them, and ignoring what they say.
• For example, if you constantly say things like, "You're useless now," "It's a big hassle for me to take care of you," or "Shut up!", that's psychological abuse. This can destroy their self-confidence and cause them a lot of suffering.

• Abandonment: Abandonment is when someone who is elderly and unable to care for themselves is left alone by their caregiver, without any recourse. Think of it as being admitted to a hospital and never coming back to visit them.

The sad thing is, often the same adult can experience more than one of these types of abuse.

Who is most likely to be affected by this? (Risk factors)

In fact, this type of elder abuse does not discriminate based on race, religion, gender, culture, or socioeconomic status. It can happen to anyone. However, for some people, the risk is a little higher.

• People over 60 years old.
• People with a medical condition (e.g. stroke, Parkinson's disease) that affects walking, thinking, or sensory function.
• People who have difficulty doing their own work and need help from others, or those who live in communal living spaces (e.g. nursing homes).
• Those who love each other, those who have no one to help, those who are alone.

In particular, studies have shown that women are more likely to be abused than men . People with memory impairments such as dementia are also at higher risk, as they may have difficulty understanding what is happening to them or communicating it to others.

How common is this?

This is more common than you might think. For example, in the United States, about one in ten people over the age of 60 say they have experienced some form of abuse. This situation may also exist in Sri Lanka to some extent. Although almost every country has laws against this, many incidents go unreported. That is the biggest problem.

Where do these things happen most?

Although elder abuse can happen anywhere, there are a few places where it most commonly occurs:

• In their own home: Most often from a family member or caregiver.
• In group homes.
• In elderly care centers or long-term care facilities.

What are the signs of abuse? How do we recognize it?

Sometimes these signs are obvious, sometimes they may be a little hidden. So we need to be aware of this:

• If you notice unexplained bed sores, bruises, burns, cuts, scrapes, old wounds, scars, and broken bones.
• If you isolate yourself from the things you used to do, from social interactions, if you withdraw.
• If you are suffering from insomnia, if you are constantly anxious.
• If there is a sudden change in behavior, if they are constantly sad, depressed, or constantly angry or agitated.
• If you are losing weight for no reason.
• Weakness, a feeling of lifelessness.
• If they can't use the things they use, like glasses, walkers, and hearing aids.
• If you live in a dirty, unhealthy environment.
• If there is a sudden and inexplicable change in their money or property. (For example, a large amount of money suddenly decreases, a new name is added to a property.)
• If your health condition worsens frequently and you have to go to the emergency room or be hospitalized.

What are the consequences of this abuse?

When an adult is abused, it can have short-term and long-term effects on their physical health as well as their mental health. Consider:

• Mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety can occur.
• There may be fear and distrust of others.
• Severe stress may occur.
• Physical injuries can sometimes lead to disability.
• If existing illnesses are not treated properly, they can worsen and even become life-threatening.

Some cases of elder abuse are serious enough to be life-threatening. If you feel that you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 119 (police) or 1990 (ambulance service) immediately, or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

How do we prevent something like this?

There are several things we can do to prevent elder abuse. The main thing is to be aware.

• Prepare legal documents, such as your last will and testament and healthcare power of attorney, with someone you trust. You can seek advice from a lawyer about these.
• Visit family members and friends who are in danger regularly, and check in on their well-being. Even a single phone call from you can be a great source of strength for them.
• Arrange for bank transactions to be made directly into the account rather than through checks. That way, there is less chance of middlemen misplacing the money.
• Keep a record of your financial transactions. If you see anything suspicious, investigate it.
• Never give out your personal information or banking details if someone calls you over the phone. This is how many scammers trick adults.

The most important thing is to be aware. The more you know about the signs of abuse, the risk factors, and the impact it has on someone, the better able you are to take action when you see something like this.

If you are a caregiver to an elderly person, you too may feel overwhelmed and challenged at times. Never be shy about asking for help. You can seek help from your family, friends, or organizations that provide support services. There are places in Sri Lanka that offer advice and assistance regarding elder care.

How do you inform the authorities about something like this?

Sri Lanka also has laws to protect the elderly. However, as we discussed earlier, many incidents go unreported. If you suspect that someone is being abused, you can report it to the nearest police station, the social services officer at the Divisional Secretariat, or the National Elderly Secretariat .

If you think someone you know is in immediate danger (even yourself), call 119 (police) immediately.

If your loved one is showing signs of abuse, please take action. Unfortunately, situations like this don't resolve themselves. So you're the one who needs to speak up for that person.

First, try to talk to your loved one calmly and find out the details. You can ask questions like, "Is someone bothering you?" or "Are you in pain?" However, it can be difficult for someone who is being abused to talk openly about it right away. They may be embarrassed, afraid, or feel guilty about it, making it difficult to tell the truth.

If you still have doubts after talking, definitely report it. You don't need to have proof to prove that you are being abused to report it. The relevant departments will investigate the matter. The information you provide will be kept confidential.

A doctor can also examine someone and provide guidance if there is suspicion of abuse.

If you or a loved one has a problem while receiving care from someone else, or while in a long-term care facility, you have the right to speak up. Some care facilities may have a special officer called an Ombudsman or Ombudsperson who can speak up and intervene on your behalf. You can also report abuse to local and national authorities.

A little note about calling elder abuse "elderly abuse"

Some people also call this "elderly abuse." However, a more appropriate and respectful way to describe it is to use terms like "abuse of older adults," "abuse of older people," or "abuse of a vulnerable adult."

The reason is that the word "elderly" can have a slightly negative connotation for some people. Not everyone over the age of 60 thinks they are "old." So, using age-related words can be offensive. If you are not sure what word to use, you can simply say "abuse." Regardless of the word used, if abuse occurs, it is important to report it immediately.

Take-Home Message

So, what we've been talking about is elder abuse, which is a really serious thing. It can have a huge impact on a person's physical and mental health, as well as their quality of life.

This is something that is common among vulnerable adults who find it difficult to speak up for themselves or seek help on their own. Therefore, we all have a responsibility to be vigilant about this.

If you see signs of abuse, or if you see someone mistreat an elderly person, please do not remain silent. Be sure to report it to your local authorities, or call 119 (police) or 1990 (ambulance).

It is our duty to take care of our beloved elders and help them live a safe and dignified life.

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