When is the best time for you to "go out" with someone? Let's talk about this!

Do you sometimes have a crush on someone, or just want to talk to them and spend time with them? Maybe you feel a little bit of a crush when you see someone at school, in class, or somewhere else. It's really normal to have these feelings, especially as you get older. So today, let's talk about 'making friends', which is when you go out with someone. Since this is a sensitive topic, let's talk about everything clearly and in a way that you can understand.

What does this "feeling lost" mean? What is a `(Crush)`?

Simply put, a `(crush)` is when you have a special interest or attraction for someone. This can happen even at a very young age, that is, from the primary grades. But when you get a little older and enter classes like the Ordinary Level, this `(crush)` may go a little further and lead to conversations like "Shall we be friends?" "Shall we `(go out)`?"

Usually at this age, which is when you're in school, "going out" with someone means that you both realize that you like each other . Then they might:

• Talking on the phone.
• The message will be `(text)`.
• Spending time together with a group of friends (for example, when all your friends go to a play area after school, anyone you like can be there).

But most of the time, going on a date alone is a rare occurrence these days. To be honest, it's actually safest and best for you to wait until you're in high school or college to go on a date alone, or spend more time alone with someone you like. There are a few reasons for that, and we'll talk about them.

Why shouldn't we be nervous about "going out"?

The things you learn at this age are very important for your future. Your emotional stability, your mental health, all of this is built during this time. So, there are a few things you need to think about before starting a relationship with someone.

• Emotional Control: You are still learning to control and understand your emotions. At this age, your mind is very sensitive. You can be very happy about small things, and very sad about small things. So, when you start a relationship with someone, even small problems can affect you greatly. There is a high chance of getting hurt. Imagine how sad it would be if a relationship you started with high hopes suddenly ended.
• Impact on education: Sometimes, relationships like this can interfere with your academic work. Your attention may be diverted.
• Unnecessary pressure: Sometimes, the feeling of "needing to have a friend" can come from peer pressure. Don't think that you should do it because everyone else is doing it. What matters is whether you really feel ready for it.
• Mutual understanding: Mutual understanding and respect are very important for a healthy relationship. Understanding these properly and behaving accordingly will help you gain the maturity you gain over time.

The most important thing: You should never, in any relationship, let anyone do or say anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or that you don't want to do. You need to know what your boundaries are.

What if someone asks me to "go out"? Or if I want to ask someone?

This is a problem that many people have. Okay, let's see how to deal with this.

1. Ask yourself: "What do I really want from this? What do I expect?" Maybe all you want is a good friend. Maybe it's a little more than that. You have to figure that out for yourself.

2. See if you both like it: If you like someone, they should like you back. Otherwise, you can't force a relationship. If both of you are willing, you can ``go out''.

3. Take it slow: The best advice is to take it slow. Don't panic. Don't have high expectations all at once. Get to know each other little by little, have conversations. Because, as I said before, at this age, it's very easy to get hurt.

4. Tell a trusted adult: If you ever feel uncomfortable, scared, or sad because of something your partner says or does, be sure to tell an adult you trust. It could be your mom, dad, a teacher, or another family member. They can help you. Don't go through this alone.

What are these "boundaries"?

This is very important. Boundaries are about being clear about what you like, what you don't like, what you're comfortable with, and what you're uncomfortable with, and communicating that to others. For example:

• Do not give your personal information (e.g. your phone password) to anyone unless you want to.
• If someone makes a joke that makes you uncomfortable, don't be afraid to say, "That's uncomfortable for me, please don't say that."
• If someone touches you in a way you don't like, don't let them, stop them, and tell an adult about it.

Maintaining these boundaries is very important for your self-respect and your safety.

What if the person I like only likes me as a friend? Or what if someone "becomes" me and then decides to stop?

Ah, this is the hardest part. It's really normal to feel sad, angry, and like the world is ending at a time like this. It's not just you, many people have experienced this.

• Try to accept it: If you ask someone to "be friends" and they say "no," it's very difficult. But try to accept it. Also, try to be nice to that person. Being angry and resentful won't do you or the other person any good.
• This feeling doesn't last forever: The sadness and disappointment you feel won't last forever. Those feelings will change over time. You'll meet new friends and focus on new things.
• Talk to someone you trust: This is the best thing to do. Talk to your parents, or another adult you trust, about this. They may have gone through similar things at your age. They can give you good advice and help you make up your mind.

"The world doesn't end just because things didn't go the way you wanted, with one person, once. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, or that no one will ever like you."

How do you cope at a time like this? `(Healthy Coping)`

When someone doesn't like you or hurts you, there are healthy ways to get over it:

• Accept what you feel: If you're sad, accept it. Don't hide it. But don't wallow in it either.
• Don't dwell on negative things: When you start thinking things like, "It's my fault," "No one likes me," it only makes you feel worse. Instead, try to think, "Okay, this time it happened this way, next time it will be better."
• Do things you enjoy: Distract yourself. Draw a picture, listen to a song, read a book, play a game, talk to friends.
• Take care of yourself: Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. When you are physically healthy, it is easier to maintain good mental health.

Finally, things to keep in mind (Take-Home Message)

So, although this "going out" story may seem a bit complicated, it's not that bad when you understand it properly.

• Your feelings are normal: It's normal to have a crush on someone. Don't feel guilty about it.
• Don't be afraid: Don't be afraid to start a relationship. Wait until you feel like you're really ready.
• Safety and boundaries: Think about your safety. Know what your boundaries are and respect them. If someone is crossing those boundaries, don't let them.
• Trusted adults: It's important to have a trusted adult you can talk to about any problems or difficulties you may have. Don't be afraid to seek their help.
• You are valuable: Whether someone likes you or not, you are valuable. Your happiness, your future, is not determined by the will of another person.

Remember, this is the best time for you to get to know yourself, develop your skills, and build good friendships. So prioritize those things. Love and relationships will also be allowed when the time comes. In the meantime, take care of yourself!

` Love, Relationships, Youth, Mental Health, Emotions, Counseling, Going Out