Does your mother or father have a substance use disorder? You're not alone, let's talk!

Do you feel like your parent is addicted to alcohol or other drugs? Living with this can feel like you're alone. But you're not alone. These problems caused by alcohol and drug use (such as opioids) are medically called substance use disorders , or in English, substance use disorders .

This condition called `(Substance Use Disorder)` not only affects a person's health, but also the way they behave. It is also a reason for problems at home and at work. So, living with someone who has this problem, especially if it is your own parent, is not easy. If you are going through this experience, it is very important to talk to someone about what you are feeling. Get the support you need and deserve.

What is it like to live with a parent who has a substance use disorder?

Living with a parent who uses drugs can be really difficult. It can have a big impact on how you feel, how you behave, and even your family life. It doesn't feel the same for everyone, it's different for everyone. See if some of the things below apply to you.

How can you feel?

Some children experience feelings like this:

• Feeling ashamed, angry, or deeply saddened by their parents' drug use.
• They are constantly worried about the health and safety of their mother or father.
• They worry about themselves, their siblings, or even their other parents .
• When you're at home, you feel scared, lonely, and insecure . It's like there are problems all around the house.
• It's frustrating that parents won't break this habit.
• However, it feels great relief when parents take some steps to overcome this.
• It's hard to trust anyone, and I feel like I can't keep my mind at ease.
• I feel like I have to become an adult before I'm old enough. I have to take on responsibilities at home.
• Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with questions that I can't even lift my head .
• Some children may even develop conditions like depression or anxiety .

How can you behave?

In such a situation, some children tend to behave in the following ways:

• I try my best not to anger a parent who uses alcohol or drugs.
• I try to stay as far away from those parents as possible.
• They don't talk about what they want or ask for it .
• They keep their feelings to themselves .
• Parents try to keep this problem a secret from others .
• They hide the real situation at home from others .
• I'm afraid to ask my friends to come home because I don't know how my parents will react .
• School attendance decreases, or schoolwork becomes difficult to complete .
• Adults take on the tasks they need to do . For example, taking care of their siblings, cooking at home, etc.
• There are frequent fights with parents.
• Sometimes they are tempted to harm themselves .
• Even though they are suffering a lot inside, they seem to care nothing on the outside.

How can it affect family life?

In families where substance abuse is a problem, things like this can happen:

• It's difficult for a parent to hold down a job and pay the bills at home .
• There may be not enough food and drink at home, and money in hand .
• Older siblings in the family have to take care of their younger siblings .
• Parents can mistreat, abuse, or neglect their children .
• A parent can drive while intoxicated. If that happens , they can get into trouble, get injured , and even hurt others .
• Sometimes, for the safety of children or to take care of them, you may have to move to another place to live .
• Parents may separate or divorce .
• However, sometimes relatives or friends offer to help .
• Some parents get help and recover from this situation . That's the best thing that can happen.

The most important thing is to understand that whatever this is, it's not your fault.

What can I do?

If you live with a parent like this, you're probably going through a really hard time. But there are people who can help you, protect you, and support you. Here are some things you can do:

Talk openly with someone.

Talk to your best friend or an adult you trust. This could be your school counselor, a teacher, a doctor, a therapist, or even a relative. Tell them what you're going through. Sharing your feelings can be a great way to help. They may also be able to help you in other ways.

Understand that this is not your fault.

Some children feel responsible for their parents' drug use. Perhaps they blame you when their parents are angry. "Is it because of me that Mom is drinking?" or "Is it because of something I did that Dad is taking drugs?" You may wonder. But let's be clear, a child can never cause a parent's drug problem. That's their problem.

Recognize your feelings and give them a name.

Don't bottle up your feelings and pretend everything is fine. Understand how you feel about your parent's drug problem. It's normal to feel sad, angry, and scared. Let yourself feel what you feel. Use words to express those feelings, not bad actions. Practice saying, "I feel this way because of this."

Find a Support Group

There are support groups for people who are going through this. For example, there are organizations like Al-Anon/Alateen all over the world. You can look for a group like that, or find help online. Talking to others who have been through the same things as you can help you cope. You can ask your school counselor or doctor about these places.

Find a safe place.

Do you avoid being at home as much as possible? Or do you have thoughts of running away from home? If you feel unsafe at home, or if you think you or someone in your family might be in danger, call an emergency number like 119 immediately. Or there are agencies like the National Child Protection Authority (NCPA) (their phone number is 1929), you can also inform them. It is also very important to tell an adult you trust about this.

Build good mental habits

Some children learn to keep quiet and not show their feelings because of problems at home. They think that by doing so, they can stop their parents from using drugs. While these habits may help you stay safe at home, they can cause problems in other areas of your life, with friends, and in future relationships. Learning to talk about what's on your mind, express your feelings, and show your emotions is very important for building good relationships. Sometimes, psychotherapy can help you build good habits like this.

Stop this vicious cycle.

Sadly, children of parents with substance abuse disorders are at increased risk of developing these problems in the future. But it is not impossible. You can learn how to overcome this risk by going to a support group or getting counseling .

What we need to learn from this

If you find yourself in a difficult situation like this, there are a few important things to remember:

• You are not alone. There are people who have the same experiences as you and are willing to help you.
• This is never your fault. You are not responsible for your parents' decisions.
• There is help available. There are ways to talk to you, support you, and protect you.
• Talk to someone you trust. Sharing your burdens can be a great relief.
• Think about yourself too. It's very important to take care of your mental and physical health.
• Don't give up hope. People can change and heal.

Remember, after every storm, the sky is blue. You are strong. You can get through this.

Drug Use, Substance Use Disorder, Alcohol, Drug Addiction , Parents, Children, Mental Health , Help, Alateen, Child Protection