Wetin na yu atakshɔn stayl dɛn? Lɛ wi tɔk bɔt dis!

Di rileshɔnship we wi ɔl gɛt wit pipul dɛn, ilɛksɛf na padi biznɛs ɔ lɔv, rili impɔtant, nɔto so? Sɔntɛnde wi kin tink se, "O, wetin mek a bin gɛt so atak dis pɔsin?" Ɔ "O, a nɔ ivin fil fɔ tɔk to da pɔsin de!" Yu no, di rizin fɔ dɛn tin ya go mɔs dip pas aw wi kin tink, ɛn dɛn kin bigin frɔm we wi rili yɔŋ. Na dat wi kin kɔl `(Attachment Styles)` ɔ atɛshmɛnt stayl.

So, wetin na dɛn atakshɔn stayl ya?

Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, dis min aw di wan dɛn we de kia fɔ wi fɔs (bɔku tɛm wi mama ɛn papa, grani ɛn granpa, ɔ grani ɛn granpa) bin de trit wi we wi bin yɔŋ , dat na we wi bin rili yɔŋ, ɛn aw dɛn tin dɛn de kin afɛkt wi padi biznɛs we wi dɔn big.

Tink bɔt am dis we. We yu bin pikin, aw yu bin riak we pɔsin we bin de kia fɔ yu lɛf yu fɔ sɔm tɛm, sɔntɛm na ``bebi sista'', ɛn yu kɔmɔt? Yu bin de fred? Yu bin fil bad? Ɔ yu jɔs akt nɔmal, tink se, "O, dɛn go kam bak jisnɔ." Aw yu bin fil we dɛn kam bak? Yu bin fil fri? Vɛks? Ɔ yu nɔ bin bisin atɔl?

Di ansa we yu de gi to dɛn kwɛstyɔn ya de tɔk bɔku tin bɔt wetin yu de op fɔ, wetin yu nid, ɛn di tin dɛn we yu bin dɔn du we yu bin smɔl. Dɛn kin gi big klyu bak bɔt aw yu go handle rileshɔnship wit ɔda pipul dɛn we yu dɔn big.

Wetin na dɛn kayn we ya fɔ atak pɔsin?

Sayɛnsman dɛn we de stɔdi bɔt pɔsin in maynd dɔn no 4 men stayl dɛn we pɔsin kin atɛnd:

• Sikyuɔr atakshɔn stayl
• Anxious attachment stayl we yu de wɔri
• Avɔyd fɔ atak yu stayl
• Disɔganayz atakshɔn stayl

Fɔ dɛn wan ya, di we aw pɔsin de wɔri, we i de avɔyd, ɛn we nɔ ɔganayz fɔ atak pɔsin na wetin wi kɔl insɛkyu atakshɔn patɛn. Di gol fɔ wi ɔl fɔ bi fɔ kɔmɔt nia dɛn atakshɔn ya we nɔ gɛt sikyɔriti ɛn bil sikrit atakshɔn dɛn.

Aw dɛn atakshɔn patɛn ya kin afɛkt rilayshɔnship?

Bays pan pas 50 ia risach (attachment theory), sayɛnsman dɛm gri se di fɔs imɔshɔnal bon dɛm we yu mek wit yu praymari kia we yu bin smɔl kin afɛkt yu fiuja lɔv rilayshɔnship dɛm dairekt wan.

Tink bɔt dis, if di pɔsin we bin de kia fɔ yu bin bisin bɔt yu ɔltɛm, ɛp yu we yu nid am, ɛn mek yu fil sef , i go mɔs bi se yu go gɛt tayt padi biznɛs we go mek yu gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn we yu de gro. Bɔt if di pɔsin we bin de kia fɔ yu nɔ bin de pe atɛnshɔn to yu ɔltɛm, if dɛn nɔ bin de trit yu wan patikyula we, yu kin gɛt sɔm prɔblɛm dɛn na yu padi biznɛs we yu dɔn big.

Na di padi biznɛs we yu bin gɛt wit di pɔsin we bin de kia fɔ yu we yu bin smɔl, na in nɔmɔ de afɛkt dis?

Pan ɔl we bɔku risach dɔn sho se di we aw yu de atak yu na di rilayshɔnship we yu bin gɛt wit di wan dɛn we de kia fɔ yu we yu bin yɔŋ, mɔ di fɔs 18 mɔnt na yu layf , ɔda pipul dɛn kin afɛkt dis bak. Ivin yu ol padi dɛn ɛn di lɔv we yu bin dɔn gɛt trade kin chenj di we aw yu de biev we yu de fil. Yu kin dɔn gɛt sikyɔriti atakshɔn we yu bin smɔl, bɔt yu atakshɔn stayl kin dɔn bi insekyuɔr bikɔs ɔf di brɛk pan trɔst ɔ ɔda tranga ɛkspiriɛns dɛn leta na layf.

Dɔn bak, yu kin gɛt difrɛn atakshɔn stayl wit difrɛn pipul dɛn . Bikɔs ɔf di tin dɛn we yu bin dɔn du trade, yu kin fil sef wit sɔm pipul dɛn.

A kin chenj mi atakshɔn stayl?

I rili pɔsibul! Fɔ chenj am na sɔntin we pɔsin kin rili pɔsibul. I kin bigin wit fɔ no yusɛf . Wae yu dɔn no aw yu de fil – di patɛns wae yu de sho pan big pipul rilayshɔnship – yu kin bigin fɔ chenj sɔm pan dɛn ol we fɔ tink. I tan lɛk se yu de rayt nyu skript. We yu chenj di ol we aw yu de tink, dat kin ɛp yu fɔ kɔmɔt na wan stayl we nɔ sef fɔ atak yu to wan we we sikrit. Pan ɔl we yu kin du sɔm pan dis fɔ yusɛf, i fayn ɔltɛm fɔ tɔk to pɔsin we de gi advays ɔr tritmɛnt we go ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand ɛn sɔpɔt yu we yu de go.

Wetin na dis Sikyu Atɛshmɛnt Stayl?

Wan sikyɔriti atakshɔn na di ebul fɔ bil wɛlbɔdi, satisfay, ɛn lɔng tɛm rilayshɔnship.

Sikyu atakshɔn patɛn na yɔŋ pikin dɛn

Yɔŋ pikin dɛn we gɛt sikyɔriti atakshɔn stayl kin fil sef, valyu, ɔndastand, ɛn kɔrej frɔm di men pɔsin we de kia fɔ dɛn. As bebi, dɛn kin kray we di pɔsin we de kia fɔ dɛn go fɔ sɔm tɛm, bɔt dɛn kin kɔrej dɛn we da pɔsin de kam bak. We dɛn fil se dɛn de fred, dɛn kin rɔn go to di pɔsin we de kia fɔ dɛn fɔ kɔrej dɛn.

Sikyu atakshɔn patɛn na big pipul dɛn

Fɔ gɛt sikyɔriti atakshɔn stayl min se yu fil sef ɛn kɔnfidɛns pan yu big pɔsin rilayshɔnship. Yu kin tɛl yu patna ɛn yu tayt padi dɛn bɔt aw yu de fil, yu kin aks fɔ sɔpɔt frɔm pipul dɛn we yu nid am, ɛn yu kin gɛt gud rɛspɛkt fɔ yusɛf .

Karakta dɛn fɔ wan sikrit atakshɔn

If yu gɛt sikrit atakshɔn stayl, bɔku tɛm yu kin du dɛn tin ya:

• Fɔ abop pan ɔda pipul dɛn izi wan.
• Kɔmyuniket fayn fayn wan.
• Rigul di we aw yu de fil .
• A nɔ kin fil bad fɔ spɛn tɛm mi wan.
• I kin kɔnɛkt izi wan wit ɔda pipul dɛn.
• We cham-mɔt kam, dɛn kin sɔlv am di rayt we.
• Yu kin kam nia di pipul dɛn we de na yu layf pan filin.

Wetin na Anxious Attachment Style?

Dis na wan kayn insekyuɔr atakshɔn stayl. Bɔku tɛm pipul dɛn we gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn kin fred fɔ lɛ dɛn nɔ gri wit dɛn ɛn lɛf dɛn . Dɛn kin luk to pɔsin we nɔ de pan dɛnsɛf fɔ validet.

Wan ɔda nem fɔ dis na:

• `(Preoccupied atakshɔn stayl)`
• `(Anxious-preoccupied atakshɔn stayl)`
• `(Ansiɔs-ambivalɛnt atakshɔn stayl)`

Di we aw dɛn kin wɔri bɔt aw dɛn kin atɛnd dɛnsɛf na yɔŋ pikin dɛn

Pikin dɛn we gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn stayl kin rili vɛks we dɛn separet frɔm dɛn mama ɛn papa. Bɔt, dɛn nɔ kin kɔrej dɛn ɔl we dɛn mama ɛn papa kam bak. Dɛn pikin ya nɔ kin abop pan strenja dɛn pas pikin dɛn we gɛt ɔda stayl fɔ atak dɛn.

Anxious attachment patterns in big pipul dεm

Big pipul dɛm wae gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn kin wɔri se dɛn patna ɔr padi nɔr lɛk dɛm. Dis kin mek dɛn rili fred se dɛn nɔ go gri fɔ tek dɛn ɔ lɛf dɛn. Dɛn kin gɛt lɔw sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt ɔltogɛda ɛn nid ɔda pipul dɛn aprɔval fɔ validet dɛnsɛf. Dɛn kin gɛt kɔdipɛndɛnt tendencies , ɛn dɛn kin rili sɔri we rilayshɔnship dɔn.

Sayn dɛm fɔ se yu gɛt rilayshɔnship we de wɔri

If yu gɛt dis kayn padi biznɛs, yu kin gɛt dɛn tin ya:

• Fɔ fil se yu nɔ gɛt wan valyu.
• Hypersensitivity to kritik.
• I at fɔ spɛn tɛm yu wan.
• Nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ ɔnɔ fɔ yusɛf.
• I at fɔ abop pan ɔda pipul dɛn.
• Fɔ fil lɛk se yu de jɛlɔs .
• Fɔ fred se dɛn nɔ go gri fɔ tek dɛn ɔ lɛf dɛn.

Wetin na Avoidant Attachment Stayl?

Dis na wan kayn insekyuɔr atakshɔn stayl bak. Pipul dɛm wae gɛt avoidant attachment style kin gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ mek dɛn gɛt mininful rileshɔnship bikɔs dɛn de fred fɔ intimacy .

Ɔda nem dɛn fɔ dis:

• `(Dismisiv atakshɔn stayl)`
• `(Anxious-avoidant atakshɔn stayl)`

Fɔ avɔyd di we aw dɛn de atak pikin dɛn

Bebi ɛn yɔŋ pikin dɛn we gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn nɔ kin aktif wan fɔ fɛn kɔmfɔt frɔm di pɔsin we de kia fɔ dɛn. Dɛn nɔ kin gri fɔ kɔmfɔt if dɛn gi dɛn am, bɔt bɔku tɛm dɛn kin tray fɔ avɔyd fɔ tɔk to dɛnsɛf. Bɔku tɛm, dɛn pikin ya nɔ kin sho ɛni difrɛns bitwin di pɔsin we de kia fɔ dɛn fɔs ɛn pɔsin we dɛn nɔ no atɔl.

Avoidant atachment stayl na big pipul

As big pɔsin, yu kin gɛt wan avɔyd atakshɔn stayl, we min se yu nɔ kin gɛt tayt padi biznɛs, ɛn yu nɔ kin put smɔl filin pan yu rilayshɔn wit yu patna ɛn padi dɛn.I kin bi. Pipul wae gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn stayl kin gɛt strɔng sɛns fɔ indipɛndɛns ɛn kin fil se dɛn de trɛtin if ɛnibɔdi tray fɔ kam nia dɛn. Dis kin mek i nɔ izi fɔ tɛl di pipul dɛn na yu layf bɔt aw yu de fil ɛn aw yu de fil.

Sayn dɛm fɔ wan avoidant attachment

If yu gɛt avoidant attachment pattern, yu kin gɛt:

• Wan big sɛns fɔ indipɛndɛns bɔt yusɛf.
• I nɔ kin izi fɔ lɛ dɛn nɔ pe atɛnshɔn to ɔda pipul dɛn.
• I at fɔ abop pan ɔda pipul dɛn.
• I kin fil bad we pɔsin tray fɔ kam nia am.
• Nɔ gɛt tayt kɔntakt (we yu de fil ɔ yu bɔdi).
• Di wan dɛn we nɔ want fɔ kɔmit to rilayshɔnship de.

Wetin na Disɔganayz Atɛshmɛnt Stayl?

Dis na di tɔd kayn insekyuɔr atakshɔn stayl. Pipul wae gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn kin sho se dɛn nɔr de biev fayn ɔr kin gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ abop pan ɔda pipul dɛm.

Wan ɔda nem fɔ dis na:

• `(Fɔ fred-avɔyd atakshɔn stayl)`

Dis ɔganayz atakshɔn patɛn na yɔŋ pikin dɛn

Bɔku tɛm i kin tan lɛk se pikin dɛn we gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn kɔnfyus . Dɛn kin fil se bad tin go apin to dɛn. Bɔku tɛm dis kin bi bikɔs di pɔsin we de kia fɔ dɛn nɔ kin fil fayn. Fɔ ɛgzampul, sɔntɛnde di pɔsin we de kia fɔ di pikin kin kɔrej di pikin, bɔt ɔda tɛm dɛn kin mek i fred. Sɔntɛm di pikin nɔ go ebul fɔ abop pan di pɔsin we de kia fɔ am, bikɔs di sem pɔsin we de du am bad sɔntɛnde kin kɔrej am bak . Pikin dɛm wae gɛt dis kayn atakshɔn kin dɔn de abuse, traumatized, ɔr nɔr de kia fɔ dɛn.

Dis ɔganayz atakshɔn patɛn na big pipul dɛn

Bɔku tɛm big pipul dɛn we gɛt dis kayn rilayshɔnship kin sho se dɛn kin kɔnfyus ɔ dɛn nɔ kin no wetin go apin . Dɛn de ɛkspɛkt lɔv ɛn fɔ bi pat pan dɛn – bɔt dɛn de fred dɛn sem tin dɛn de bak. Dis kin mek dɛn gɛt wan we fɔ luk fɔ lɔv ɛn nɔ gri wit am bɔku tɛm. Dɛn kin tay dɛn patna ɛn afta dat dɛn kin push dɛn go. Fɔ ɛgzampul, dɛn kin rili fil bad wan de ɛn dɛn nɔ kin bisin atɔl di nɛks de.

Karakta dɛm fɔ wan disɔganayz atakshɔn

If yu gɛt rilayshɔnship we nɔ de wok fayn, yu kin gɛt:

• I at fɔ abop pan ɔda pipul dɛn.
• I at fɔ kɔntrol di we aw yu de fil.
• Dɛn kin sho ɔl tu di stayl dɛn we pɔsin kin wɔri ɛn we i kin avɔyd fɔ atak pɔsin.
• Fɔ fred fɔ lɛ dɛn nɔ gri fɔ tek yu.
• Di we aw pɔsin kin biev we kɔnfyus ɔ we nɔ gri wit wetin i de tɔk.

Wetin go apin to mi pikin pan ɔl dis?

Di filin we yu de mek wit yu pikin rili impɔtant.. Pan ɔl we di we aw pɔsin kin gɛt tayt padi biznɛs kin chenj ɔlsay na in layf, di fɔs padi biznɛs we yu kin gɛt wit yu pikin kin mek i go na wan rod. Jɔs lɛk fɔ gi pikin map ɛn kɔmpas bifo dɛn bigin fɔ travul, fɔ mek pɔsin gɛt say we i go tay am fayn fayn wan na di men tin.

I izi fɔ gayd di pikin in imɔshɔnal wɛlbɔdi we dɛn de divɛlɔp. Tink bɔt am lɛk siment. Wi kin shep ɛn mol di nyu simen we dɛn dɔn le to ɛni shep we wi want. Bɔt we da simen de dɔn dray, i kin tek bɔku wok fɔ chenj am. Fɔ mek yu gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit yu pikin naw, dat de mek di rod fɔ mek i go bifo tumara bambay.

Aw a go mek tayt padi biznɛs wit mi pikin?

We yu tink bɔt ɔl dis, yu go de wɔnda if yu go ebul fɔ mek yu pikin gɛt wan sikrit atakshɔn fɔ go bifo na layf. Fɔs, tek dip briz . Aw fɔ no na di men tin we i kam pan fɔ bil wan wɛlbɔdi, sikrit atakshɔn. Infakt, sɔntɛm yu dɔn ɔlrɛdi de gi yu pikin wetin i nid fɔ mek i go bifo pan filin. Apat frɔm dat, if yu nɔ bin de tink bɔt yu pikin in wɛlbɔdi, yu nɔ bin fɔ de rid dis atikul, nɔto so?

Na sɔm tin dɛn we yu kin du fɔ mek yu gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit yu pikin:

• Mek dɛn no se yu de fɔ dɛn ɛn wetin dɛn nid. I nɔ fayn fɔ gi yu pikin yu ful atɛnshɔn 24 awa insay di de, 7 dez insay di wik. Bɔt tray fɔ du dat ɔltɛm we yu ebul, mɔ we di pikin nɔ de ɛkspɛkt am. Dis de sho di pikin se yu want fɔ spɛn tɛm wit dɛn, nɔto bikɔs dɛn du sɔntin, bɔt na bikɔs dɛn bi udat dɛn bi.
• Validate di we aw yu pikin de fil. Yu fɔ no wetin yu pikin go de fil, ɛn ɛp dɛn fɔ rayt dɛn filin dɛn de. Mɛmba dɛn se i nɔmal fɔ gɛt filin, ɔl di filin gɛt rizin, ɛn i nɔ bad fɔ fil di we aw dɛn de fil. If yu ɛp dɛn fɔ fɛn wɛl bɔdi we fɔ kɔntrol di prɔblɛm dɛn we nɔ izi fɔ yu lɛk fɔ vɛks, dat go mek yu ɛn yu pikin gɛt tayt padi biznɛs.
• Put yu pikin in intres. Lan bɔt di tin dɛn we yu pikin lɛk fɔ du ɛn di tin dɛn we i lɛk. Fɛn we fɔ kɔnɛkt wit dɛn bɔt di tin dɛn we dɛn lɛk.
• Jɔs ɛnjɔy fɔ de togɛda. As mama ɔ papa ɔ pɔsin we de kia fɔ yu pikin, wan big pat pan yu wok na fɔ gi yu pikin gayd ɛn advays. Pan ɔl we dis impɔtant fɔ mek di pikin gro, jɔs fɔ spɛn tɛm wit dɛn kin rili bɛnifit am bak. We yu de tɔk to yu pikin fayn ɛn invayt am, dat de mek i no se yu lɛk am ɛn yu gladi fɔ am. Mek dɛn no se yu lɛk dɛn jɔs lɛk aw dɛn lɛk dɛn.

``Attachment Theory`` ɛn ``Attachment Parenting`` na di sem tin?

Attachment parenting na di tiori se mama ɛn papa kin ɛp pikin dɛn fɔ gɛt sikyɔriti atakshɔn bay we dɛn de nia dɛn pikin dɛn na dɛn bɔdi ɛn dɛn kin rili ansa wetin dɛn nid. Attachment parenting na inspɛkt frɔm risach pan attachment tiori, bɔt di tu nɔto di sem.

Di wan dɛn we de sɔpɔt fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn we gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin kin se yu fɔ fala wetin yu fil se rayt fɔ yu ɛn lɛf di ɔda wan dɛn biɛn. Bɔt we i kam pan aw fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn, fɔ tru, no wan say nɔ de fɔ mɛn pikin dɛn.

di bond we yu de bil wit yu pikin insay di fכs 18 mכnt dεm na in layf kin gεt big impak pan aw i de handle rileshכnship leta. We yu de tɔk to yu pikin, nɔ de chenj, du tin wit rizin, ɛn mek i fil sef ɛn sef. Mek dɛn fil lɛk yu na pɔsin we dɛn kin sheb ɛni filin, big ɔ smɔl. Fɔ mek yu gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit yu pikin na jɔs wan we fɔ mek dɛn gɛt sakrifays tumara bambay. Tɔk to yu pikin in pikin dɔktɔ fɔ lan mɔ bɔt di we dɛn we fayn fɔ yu.

Di tin dɛn we impɔtant pas ɔl fɔ mɛmba (Take-Home Message) .

So, frɔm wetin wi dɔn tɔk bɔt, yu go mɔs ɔndastand aw di tin dɛn we kin apin to wi we wi smɔl kin afɛkt wi big pɔsin. Di we aw wi kin atak wi na sɔntin lɛk dat.

• Fɔ gɛt tayt padi biznɛs kwik kwik wan rili impɔtant: Di rilayshɔnship we yu bin gɛt wit di wan dɛn we bin de kia fɔ yu we yu bin yɔŋ, na in na di fawndeshɔn fɔ yu rilayshɔnship dɛn we yu go gɛt tumara bambay.
• I kin chenj: Ivin if di we aw yu de atak yu naw nɔ sikrit, i nɔ pɔsibul fɔ chenj. I jɔs nid fɔ no yusɛf ɛn tray tranga wan .
• Wan mɛsej to mama ɛn papa dɛn: Fɔ mek yu gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit yu pikin, na di gift we valyu pas ɔl we yu go gi am. I go bi big trɛnk fɔ dɛn ɔl dɛn layf.
• Nɔ fred fɔ gɛt ɛp: If yu want fɔ no mɔ bɔt dis, ɔ if yu fil se prɔblɛm de wit yu atakshɔn stayl, i go fayn fɔ mek yu aks fɔ ɛp frɔm pɔsin we de gi yu advays.

Mɛmba se wi ɔl de pan dis waka. Di impɔtant tin na fɔ ɔndastand yusɛf ɛn tray fɔ gɛt wɛlbɔdi padi biznɛs.

` Atachmεnt patεn, mεntal hεlth , pikin divεlכpmεnt , mama εn papa, rilayshכn, imyushכn , sikyu atachmεnt