Ingaba umntwana wakho uyakhula? Singathetha ngale nkqubela yobutsha?

Kuyonwabisa kakhulu ukubukela umntwana wakho ekhula ukusuka ebuntwaneni ukuya ekubeni ngumntu omdala opheleleyo, akunjalo? Kodwa eli xesha liphakathi kobuntwana nobudala, elibizwa ngokuba 'lulutsha,' likhethekile kakhulu. Ngeli xesha, kungekuphela nje imizimba yabo kodwa neengqondo zabo kunye nengqondo zabo zitshintsha kakhulu. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kunokuba nzima kancinci kubazali nakubantwana, kodwa kwangaxeshanye kunokuba lixesha elibaluleke kakhulu.

Yintoni ubutsha?

Ngamafutshane, ixesha lokufikisa lixesha lokutshintsha ukusuka ebuntwaneni ukuya ekubeni ngumntu omdala. Ngeli xesha, umzimba womntwana wakho, ingqondo, iingcinga, iimvakalelo, kunye nobudlelwane bakhe nabantu butshintsha kakhulu. Baqala kancinci ukufumana ubuwena babo baze bazimele. Ezinye zezi nguqu zenzeka ngokukhawuleza kakhulu, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngoko ke eli linokuba lixesha elinomdla, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha libe lixesha elinzima.

Utshintsho Lomzimba - Zithini ezi?

Utshintsho oluphambili olwenzeka emizimbeni yabantwana ngeli xesha kukufikisa . Oku kungenxa yeentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeehomoni ezikhethekileyo ezikhutshwa yingqondo. Ngenxa yezi homoni, umzimba womntwana utshintsha ngokukhawuleza kwaye amalungu esini aqala ukuvuthwa.

Umntwana wakho uza kukhula ngequbuliso abe mkhulu. Oku sikubiza ngokuba 'kukukhuhla okukhulu' . Kunye noku, kunokubakho ukubila okukhulu, ivumba lomzimba, amaqhakuva, kunye nokukhula kweenwele zomzimba. Amantombazana adla ngokufumana oku kukhula okukhulu kwangaphambi kwamakhwenkwe, phakathi kweminyaka eli-10 neli-14. Abafana banamathuba amaninzi okukhuhla phakathi kweminyaka eli-14 neli-17.

Amantombazana aqala ukukhula amabele. Oku kunokuqala kwangethuba eneminyaka eli-10 ubudala, kwaye kufanele kugqitywe xa eneminyaka eli-14 ubudala. Malunga neminyaka emibini emva kokuba amabele kunye neenwele zesini ziqale ukubonakala, ukuya exesheni kuqala.

Iipenisi kunye namasende abafana ayakhula. Bafumana isondo, ukunqandwa kunye nokuphuma komlomo . (Ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukususela ekuzalweni (kwanokubonwa ngexesha lokuskena ngaphambi kokukhulelwa) naxa sele bekhulile.)

Nangona olu tshintsho lomzimba lusenzeka kuye wonke umntu, ixesha kunye nolandelelwano oluvela ngalo lunokwahluka ukusuka komnye umntwana ukuya komnye. Abanye abantwana bafikelela ebutsheni kwangethuba, ngelixa abanye befikelela ebutsheni kade. Kuzo zombini iimeko, ukwahluka koontanga babo kunokubabeka phantsi koxinzelelo olongezelelekileyo.

Kubalulekile: Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umntwana wakho ufikisa ebusheni kwangethuba kakhulu okanye sele ephuze kakhulu, bonana nogqirha wabantwana okanye ingcali yamayeza olutsha. Ukungazinaki ezi ngxaki kunokuchaphazela ukukhula kwamathambo kunye nophuhliso lulonke.

Ngaba indlela esebenza ngayo ingqondo nayo iyatshintsha? (Utshintsho kwiNgqondo)

Kule minyaka mincinci, uphuhliso lobuchopho lukwinqanaba eliphezulu kakhulu kunasebuntwaneni. Abantwana abancinci banokucinga ngokusengqiqweni ngezinto ezibonakalayo abazibonayo nabazivayo. Oko kukuthi, ngezinto "ezikhoyo ngoku." Kodwa abantwana abancinci baqala ukoyisa le mida baze bacinge "ngezinto ezinokwenzeka," izinto ezidlula oko bakubonayo ngokwenene. Banokusebenza ngeengcinga ezintsonkothileyo nezingabonakaliyo, bavavanye iingcamango, baze babone amathuba angenasiphelo. Nangona kunjalo, basenokubonisa ukuziphatha kunye neengcinga ezizimeleyo rhoqo.

Ngeli xesha, inani elikhulu lee-neurons engqondweni likhula ngokukhawuleza. Indlela ezi neurons ezidibana ngayo iphucuka. Yiyo loo nto zikwazi ukucinga ngokuntsonkothileyo nangokunzulu.

Yeyiphi inxalenye yokugqibela yobuchopho eyenzekayo?

I-frontal cortex, inxalenye yengqondo yomntwana wakho ephambi kwengqondo , yenye yezona ndawo zokugqibela ekufuneka ikhule ngokupheleleyo. Ikhula ngokupheleleyo xa umntwana wakho ephakathi ukuya ekupheleni kweminyaka engamashumi amabini. Le ndawo yengqondo ilawula imisebenzi yokulawula . Oko kuthetha ukucwangcisa, ukubeka phambili, kunye nokulawula iminqweno. Ngenxa yokuba le ndawo ikhula kade, umntwana wakho omncinci ngamanye amaxesha unokwenza izigqibo ezingalunganga, abandakanyeke kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezithatha umngcipheko, kwaye abe notshintsho rhoqo kwimo yeemvakalelo.

Xa umntwana omncinci esenza izinto ngokungxama kwaye engayisebenzisi kakuhle i-frontal cortex yakhe, loo nkqubo yokucinga ibizwa ngokuba yi- "Hot Cognition." I-"Cold Cognition" ibhekisa ekusebenziseni inxalenye yengqondo enengqondo, kungekhona "ukubanda." Abazali banokunceda ukuhambisa umntwana omncinci ukusuka kule meko "eshushu" ukuya kwimeko "ebandayo" ngokumphatha ngovelwano, ngokumbuza imibuzo endaweni yokumfundisa, nangokumbekela ulindelo oluphezulu.

Ziziphi iimpawu zengqondo ezikhula ngexesha lokufikisa?

Iimpawu zengqondo eziphuhlayo ngeli xesha zezi:

• Amandla okucinga angabonakaliyo
• Izakhono zokuqiqa
• Ulawulo loxinzelelo
• Ubuchule
• Izakhono zokusombulula iingxaki
• Izakhono zokwenza izigqibo

Iimvakalelo neemvakalelo zitshintsha njani? (Utshintsho lweemvakalelo)

Emncinci, umntwana wakho uqala ukubona, ukulinganisa, nokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe. Oku kuthetha ukuba uyazazi ngakumbi iimvakalelo zakhe kunye neemvakalelo zabanye. Le nkqubo yokuphuhlisa iimvakalelo inika umntwana wakho ithuba lokuphuhlisa italente yakhe kunye nokufumanisa iimpawu zakhe ezikhethekileyo. Njengoko eba ngumntu ozimeleyo ngakumbi, abanye abantwana abancinci bayayinyamezela le mingeni mitsha ngovuyo. Abanye banokufuna inkxaso yabantu abadala ukuze bakhe ukuzithemba kwabo.

"Into endiyicingayo ngam" - Ukuzihlonipha

Utshintsho olungokwasemzimbeni, kwiihomoni, nangokweemvakalelo umntwana wakho aludlulayo ngexesha lokufikisa lunokuchaphazela ukuzithemba kwakhe. Abantwana abafikelela ebuntwini ngaphambi okanye emva kwexesha koontanga babo banokuba neentloni ngemizimba yabo. "Ukulingana" yinxalenye ebaluleke kakhulu yokuzithemba kwabo ngeli xesha. Ukuzithemba yinto enzima. Abanye abantwana abancinci banokuba nokuzithemba okuphezulu xa bekunye namalungu osapho kodwa bangazithembi phakathi kwabahlobo.

Njengabazali, akufanelekanga ukuba "nguMzali weHelikopta" otsiba yonke into aze ancede, okanye "nguMzali weSnowplow" osusa yonke imiqobo phambi komntwana. Endaweni yoko, "uMzali weLighthouse" uluncedo kakhulu kubantwana abancinci. Olu hlobo lomzali luvumela abantwana ukuba bahlole izakhono zabo zokwenza izigqibo ngelixa begcina imida endaweni xa kufikwa kukhuseleko okanye ekuziphatheni. Indima yabantu abadala abakhathalelayo abasebenza njengezibane inokutshintsha ubomi babantwana abancinci.

Nangona iyinxalenye enzima yokufikisa, kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho afunde ukuzamkela ukuba ungubani kwaye azive ekwazi. Banokuphuhlisa ukuzithemba kwabo ngokuthi:

• Ndenze impazamo.
• Ukufunda kwezo mpazamo.
• Ukuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo zabo.

Utshintsho kwiNtlalo

Ngeli xesha, abantwana abancinci nabo bayaphuhla ngokwasentlalweni. Omnye wemisebenzi ebaluleke kakhulu kuphuhliso lwentlalo ngexesha lokufikisa kukukhangela ubuwena . Olu luhambo oluhlala luthatha ubomi bonke, kodwa luqala kweli xesha liselula. Enye into eza nokukhangela ubuwena kukulwela ukuzimela . Umntwana wakho:

• Usenokuqala ukuba nomdla kwisini sakho nakubudlelwane bakho bothando.
• Ungacela uncedo rhoqo xa kuvela ingxaki.
• Ungabonisa ukuzimela ngakumbi.
• Ungachitha ixesha elincinci nawe kodwa uchithe ixesha elingakumbi nabahlobo bakho.
• Ngamanye amaxesha ungaziva uxhalabile , ulusizi, okanye udandathekile . Oku kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki ngomsebenzi wesikolo okanye kwanokuziphatha ngokungakhathali.

"Ndingubani?" - Ukuzifumana (Uphuhliso Lobuwena)

Uphuhliso lobuntu lumalunga nokufumana umntwana wakho ingqiqo enamandla ngaye, ingqiqo yobuntu, kunye nonxibelelwano nabanye. Ukuzazi kakuhle kubalulekile kuba kuyayibumba indlela umntwana wakho azibona ngayo ukuba ngumntu ohlala ekho ebomini bakhe bonke.

Ukuzazi kakuhle kukwanxulunyaniswa nokuzihlonipha okuphezulu. Ungaqinisa ukuzazi kakuhle komntwana wakho ngokuthi:

• Ngokukhuthaza imizamo yabo.
• Ngokuxabisa ukhetho lwabo oluhle.
• Ngokukhuthaza ukunyamezela.

Imidiya yoluntu inefuthe njani?

Imidiya yoluntu inokuchaphazela kakubi impilo nophuhliso lomntwana wakho. Kubikwa ukuba abantwana abancinci banamathuba amaninzi okuxhatshazwa kwi-intanethi kunye nokuchatshazelwa kumxholo ongafanelekanga kwi-intanethi. Ukongeza, ukuncokola kwi-intanethi akufani nokuncokola ubuso ngobuso. Abantwana abancinci bayaphoswa ziimbonakalo zobuso ezibalulekileyo kunye nolwimi lomzimba olubonwa kuphela xa bedibana nomntu ubuso ngobuso. Abantwana abancinci banokuqala ukuziva kakubi ngabo ngokuzithelekisa nabanye abababona kwi-intanethi. Zonke ezi zinto zinokukhokelela ekungazithembini, ukudakumba, kunye nokuxhalaba.

Ukukhetha okulungileyo kokungalunganga (Utshintsho ekuziphatheni)

Emncinci, umntwana wakho unokuqala ukucinga ngehlabathi ngeendlela ezinzulu nezingabonakaliyo. Oku kudala indlela abona ngayo ihlabathi nendlela afuna ukusebenzisana nalo ngayo. Kuqala nokuphuhlisa isimilo kunye nemilinganiselo aza kuyithwala umntwana wakho ubomi bakhe bonke.

Umntwana wakho usenokuqala ukuqonda ukuba ayizizo zonke izigqibo ezimnyama okanye ezimhlophe. Njengoko eqala ukuqonda ukuba kutheni abanye besenza izigqibo ezahlukeneyo kunaye, uhlakulela uvelwano. Uqala nokuqonda nzulu isizathu sokuba ihlabathi linemithetho. Uphuhlisa izimvo zakhe malunga nokulungileyo nokungalunganga. Unokuchitha ixesha ecinga ngeenkolelo zakhe zonqulo kunye nobuthixo. Khuthaza olu hlobo lweencoko nomntwana wakho nanini na xa ufumana ithuba. Njengoko umntwana wakho efunda ukucinga ngeengxaki kunye neemeko, uya kuziqhelisa ubugcisa bokumamela nokufunda.

Ngaba izinto ezifana ne-ADHD zingavela ngeli xesha?

Oogqirha badla ngokuxilonga isifo sokungakwazi ukunikela ingqalelo/ukungasebenzi kakuhle (ADHD) ebuntwaneni. Kodwa abanye abantu baxilongwa benaso xa besebancinci okanye besebancinci. Abantwana abancinci abane-ADHD engaxilongwanga banokusokola ngakumbi ngeempawu ze-ADHD njengoko bekhula. Abanye abantwana abancinci banokuba neengxaki zokufunda ezingaxilongwanga okanye iindlela zokucubungula ulwazi ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunesiqhelo. Ukwehla kokusebenza kakuhle kwizifundo kunokuba yingxaki enkulu kwi-ADHD engaxilongwanga, ukukhubazeka kokufunda, okanye ezinye iingxaki zempilo yengqondo, kubandakanya nokudakumba.

Singanceda njani njengabazali? (Inkxaso yabazali)

Ukufikisa kunokuba lixesha elinzima kuwe nakumntwana wakho. Kodwa ukuba nenza umgudu okhethekileyo wokuqondana, ninokuthintela ikhaya lenu ekubeni yindawo yemfazwe. Ezi ngcebiso zinokunceda abazali:

• Xa umntwana wakho efuna ukuthetha, mnike ingqalelo yakho epheleleyo. Musa ukufunda iincwadi, ukujonga ii-imeyile, ukubukela iTV, okanye ukwenza nantoni na enye.
• Mamela ngoxolo, zama ukuva nokuqonda imbono yomntwana wakho. Mxelele into oyivileyo.
• Thetha nomntwana wakho ngembeko nangobubele, njengokuba ubuya kwenza kumntu ongamaziyo. Ithoni yelizwi lakho yiyo echaza uhlobo lwencoko.
• Nokuba awusoloko uvumelana nendlela umntwana wakho aziphatha ngayo, ziqonde iimvakalelo zakhe. Musa ukumgweba. Gcina ithuba lokuthetha ngayo nayiphi na into. Yiba ngumzali "ovulelekileyo/ofikelelekayo".
• Musa ukumhlazisa umntwana wakho. Musa ukuhleka xa ubuzwa imibuzo okanye ubhala amazwi abonakala ngathi ayinto yobuntwana okanye ayisiyonto kuwe.
• Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba "avavanye" izimvo ezintsha xa ethetha. Musa ukugweba izimvo zakhe. Endaweni yoko, mamela uze uveze ezakho ngokucacileyo nangokunyanisekileyo. Uthando nentlonelo edibeneyo zinokuhambelana nezimvo ezahlukeneyo.
• Nceda umntwana wakho akhe ukuzithemba. Mkhuthaze ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi ayithandayo (hayi leyo uyithandayo wena).
• Zama ukumncoma umntwana wakho rhoqo nangendlela efanelekileyo. Sidla ngokulibala ngezinto ezilungileyo size sigxile kwizinto ezimbi. Umntwana wakho kufuneka azi ukuba uyamxabisa.
• Ukuba ubabona besenza into elungileyo, bakhuthaze ukuba benze okungakumbi kolo hlobo lwento.
• Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba athathe inxaxheba ekwenzeni izigqibo zosapho aze asombulule iingxaki zosapho kunye nawe.
• Qonda ukuba umntwana wakho kufuneka aphikisane nezimvo zakho nendlela owenza ngayo izinto. Le yindlela ahlukana ngayo nawe, nto leyo ebalulekileyo ukuze abe ngumntu omdala.

Iingcebiso ezithile kubantwana abancinci (Iingcebiso zabakwishumi elivisayo)

• Kuphephe ukubona abazali bakho njengeentshaba. Bahlala bekuthanda kwaye bekufuna okulungileyo kuwe, nokuba awuvumelani nendlela abakubonisa ngayo oko.
• Zama ukuqonda ukuba abazali bakho bangabantu abaneengxaki zabo, iimfuno zabo kunye neemvakalelo zabo.
• Mamela abazali bakho ngengqondo evulekileyo. Zama ukubona izinto ngendlela abazibona ngayo.
• Yabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho nabazali bakho ukuze bakuqonde ngcono.
• Feza uxanduva lwakho ekhaya nasesikolweni. Emva koko abazali bakho baya kuthambekela ngakumbi ekukunikeni inkululeko oyifunayo neyidingayo.
• Yongeza iingcebiso zokuphucula izinto ozigxekayo kusapho, esikolweni, nakurhulumente.
• Baphathe ngembeko nangolwazelelelo abazali bakho ngendlela onokubaphatha ngayo abazali babahlobo bakho.

Ezona zinto zibalulekileyo esifuna ukuzithatha kweli bali zezi:

Ixesha lokufikisa lixesha elinomdla, kodwa elinoxinzelelo njengoko umntwana wakho etshintshela ekubeni ngumntu omdala. Kukho utshintsho olukhulu oluninzi olwenzekayo ngeli xesha, kwaye uhambo alusoloko luhamba kakuhle. Olu tshintsho lwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngamanqanaba ahlukeneyo kumntwana ngamnye. Ukusuka ekuphuhlisweni komzimba ukuya kutshintsho lweemvakalelo, lungela ukuxhasa umntwana wakho njengoko eqala ukuqonda ukuba ungubani kunye nendawo yakhe ehlabathini. Khumbula, uthando lwakho, ukuqonda, kunye nesikhokelo sakho zibaluleke ngakumbi kunangaphambili ngeli xesha.

Ulutsha , ukufikisa, uphuhliso lwabakwishumi elivisayo, ukufikisa, iihomoni, impilo yengqondo, iingcebiso zobuzali, uphuhliso lomntwana