Umntwana wam ufuna ukukhula abe mde! (Ubude bomntwana) Mama noTata, singathetha ngale nto?

Ngaba umntwana wakho omncinci ukhathazekile ngobude bakhe? "Mama, kutheni ndimfutshane kangaka?" okanye "Tata, andinakwenza into yokuba ndibe mde kancinci?" Ngaba uyakubuza imibuzo efana nale? Mhlawumbi umntwana wakho uziva edanile ngokuthelekisa ubude bakhe nabahlobo bakhe. Kuqhelekile ukuba wena, njengomzali, uzive ulusizi kwaye uxhalabile ngamaxesha anje. Ngoko ke, namhlanje siza kuthetha ngobude baba bantwana, izinto ezibachaphazelayo, kunye nendlela esinokuthetha ngayo nabantwana bethu ngaloo nto.

Ngaba singayilawula ngokwenene ubude babantwana bethu?

Ngamafutshane, uninzi lwexesha, ubude bomntwana abuyonto banokuyilawula. Eyona nto iphambili echaza ubude bethu ziijini zethu. Oko kukuthi, iijini esizifumana kumama notata zimisela kakhulu ukuba umntwana uya kuba mde kangakanani. Cinga ngayo njengesityalo. Ukuba utyala imbewu kumhlaba olungileyo, iya kukhula ibe ngumthi omkhulu. Ngokufanayo, ukuba iijini zibekwe kakuhle, umntwana uya kukhula aye kufikelela kubude obufanelekileyo kuye.

Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba akufuneki senze nto ukuze umntwana akhule. Ukuze umntwana afikelele kubude bakhe bendalo, kufuneka abe nemikhwa emihle yempilo. Zithini ezo?

• Ukutya okunesondlo: Umntwana kufuneka atye imifuno, iziqhamo, iimbotyi, ubisi, amaqanda, inyama kunye nentlanzi. Oku kukutya okunika umzimba izondlo ezifunekayo kwaye kunceda amathambo kunye nemisipha ukuba ikhule yomelele.
• Ukuzilolonga rhoqo: Ukubaleka, ukutsiba, nokudlala imidlalo kugcina umzimba womntwana usebenza. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu ekuphuhliseni.
• Ukulala ngokwaneleyo: Ukulala ngokwaneleyo kunempembelelo enkulu ekuphakameni komzimba. Iihomoni zokukhula komzimba zisebenza kakhulu xa silele.

Into ebalulekileyo kukuba le mikhwa ilungileyo incede umntwana akhulele phezulu kakhulu njengoko kulindelekile kwiijini zakhe, angadluli kwiijini zakhe aze akhule ende ngendlela engaqhelekanga.

Akukho pilisi, umgubo, okanye ivithamin enokunyusa ubude bomntu ngokungekho mthethweni. Nangona kukho izinto ezinjalo ezithengiswayo, azikwenzi ube mde. Ngoko ke musa ukuzisukela ezo zinto. Ziza kuchitha imali yakho kuphela.

Ngoko ke, yintoni ubudlelwane phakathi koku kubizwa ngokuba 'kukufikisa' kunye nobude?

Ixesha lokufikisa lixesha lotshintsho olukhulu ebomini babantwana. Usenokuba uqaphele ukuba abantwana abaninzi bakhula ngequbuliso ngeli xesha. Oku kubizwa ngokuba 'kukukhuhla okukhulu' . Kufana nokutsiba phezulu nasezantsi ngaxeshanye.

Amantombazana nabafana bafikelela kwinqanaba lokuba ngabantu abadala ngeli xesha.

• Amantombazana adla ngokuqala ukufikisa xa eneminyaka eli-10 ukuya kweli-14 ubudala. Amantombazana angena ekufikiseni emva kwexesha elithile nawo aqhubeka ekhula de abe neminyaka eli-15 ukuya kweli-16 ubudala.
• Abafana badla ngokuqala ukufikisa phakathi kweminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-16. Banokuqhubeka bekhula de babe neminyaka eli-18 ukuya kweli-19, okanye nasemva koko.

Ngokwesiqhelo, umntwana uya kukhula phakathi kwee-intshi ezi-7 ukuya kwezi-10 (iisentimitha ezili-18 ukuya kwezingama-25) ngeli xesha lokufikisa. Kodwa oku kuyahluka ukusuka komnye umntwana ukuya komnye. Ayingabo bonke abantwana abakhula babe bade ngaxeshanye nangendlela efanayo. Abanye abantwana banokukhula babe bade ngaphambi koontanga babo. Abanye banokukhula babe bade kancinci kamva. Oku kuqhelekile kakhulu. Yinto eyenzekayo ngokwewotshi yomzimba wabo.

Cinga ngayo, ezinye iintyatyambo ziqhakaza kwangethuba, ezinye ziqhakaza kade. Kodwa zonke iintyatyambo ziqhakaza kakuhle xa ixesha lazo lifika, akunjalo? Kunjalo ke ngabantwana bethu. Musa ukukhathazeka ngokuba umntwana wakho usemncinci nangona abahlobo bakhe bekhula. Xa ixesha labo lifika, nabo baya kufikelela kubude babo obufanelekileyo.

Ndingenza ntoni ukuba ndixhalabile ngobude bomntwana wam?

Ukuba uneengxaki okanye amathandabuzo malunga nobude okanye ukukhula komntwana wakho, eyona nto ilungileyo nekuphela kwayo onokuyenza kukubona ugqirha. Kungcono ngakumbi ukuba unokubona ugqirha wabantwana.

Ugqirha unokujonga ngokuchanekileyo ubude bomntwana, ubunzima bakhe, kunye nokukhula kwakhe. Kukho iitshathi ezikhethekileyo zokukhula abazisebenzisela oku. Ngokuthelekisa ukukhula komntwana nezi tshathi, ugqirha unokwazi ukubona ukuba yonke into ihamba njengoko bekulindelwe.

• Mhlawumbi umntwana ubonakala mfutshane kakhulu kunabanye abantwana abalingana naye.
• Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ukukhula komntwana wakho kuye kwaphela ngequbuliso.
• Okanye ukuba ukrokrela ukuba unezinye iingxaki zempilo ezinxulumene nobude.

Kwimeko enjalo, bubulumko ukufuna ingcebiso kagqirha. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, ugqirha uya kukuthumela kwiimvavanyo ezithile zonyango. Ngoko ke, ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokungeyomfuneko, bona ugqirha uze ufumane iimpendulo kwimibuzo onayo engqondweni.

Sithetha njani nomntwana wethu malunga neenkxalabo zakhe zokuphakama?

Xa umntwana exhalabile ngobude bakhe, oko kunokuchaphazela ukuzithemba kwakhe. Ngoko ke, singathetha njani nomntwana wethu ngale nto?

1. Mamela umntwana wakho: Okokuqala, mamela ngononophelo oko kuthethwa ngumntwana wakho. Zama ukuqonda iimvakalelo zakhe kunye nezinto ezimxhalabisayo. Mqinisekise ngokuthi, "Ndiyayiqonda indlela oziva ngayo."

2. Qonda ukuba ubude abuyonto ibalulekileyo: Xelela umntwana wakho, "Ubude luphawu olunye lomntu. Aluchazi ukuba umntu ulungile okanye umbi, unetalente okanye akakwazi." Mkhumbuze ngezinye iimpawu zakhe ezilungileyo kunye neetalente zakhe (umz., bazoba kakuhle, bacula kakuhle, banobubele).

3. Wonke umntu wahlukile, wonke umntu ukhethekile: Asinguye wonke umntu ehlabathini ofana naye. Abanye bade, abanye bafutshane. Abanye batyebile, abanye bancinci. Menze umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba ukwahluka yikona okwenza ihlabathi libe lihle. Mxelele ukuba, "Uxabiseke kakhulu, ukhethekile kakhulu kanye ngendlela oyiyo."

4. Fundisa ukubaluleka kwendlela yokuphila enempilo:Cacisa ukuba ukutya kakuhle, ukuzilolonga, kunye nokulala kakuhle akubalulekanga nje kuphela ekukhuleni ubude, kodwa nasekuhlaleni usempilweni kwaye unamandla. Thetha ngendlela ezibaluleke ngayo ezi zinto kwimpilo-ntle yakhe iyonke.

5. Yiba ngumzekelo omhle: Ukuba wena, njengomzali, ugxeka inkangeleko yabanye abantu, umntwana wakho uya kufunda izinto ezifanayo. Ngoko ke, kuphephe ukuthetha kakubi ngenkangeleko yabanye abantu. Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba ahloniphe wonke umntu.

Khumbula, uthando lwakho, ukwamkelwa kwakho, kunye nenkxaso yakho zezona zinto zinamandla amakhulu umntwana anokuba nazo. Nokuba mdala kangakanani na, menze azive ngathi uyamthanda ngaphandle kwemiqathango.

Ngoko ke, zeziphi izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka sizikhumbule? (Umyalezo Wokubuyela Ekhaya)

Kulungile, masiphinde sichaze ezinye zezona ngongoma zibalulekileyo koko sithethe ngako, akunjalo?

• Iijini zibalulekile: Ukuphakama komntwana kuxhomekeka kakhulu kwiijini zakhe.
• Imikhwa esempilweni ibalulekile: Ukutya okunempilo, umthambo, kunye nokulala kunceda ukukhula komntwana ngokwendalo, kodwa azinakutshintsha ubude bemfuza.
• Akukho zisombululo zomlingo: Akukho mayeza amangalisayo, ukutya, okanye izongezo ezinokukwenza ube mde. Musa ukukhohliswa zizinto ezinjalo.
• Ukufikisa Nokukhula Okukhawulezayo: Abantwana bakhula ngokukhawuleza ngeli xesha. Kodwa ishedyuli yomntu wonke yahlukile. Musa ukukhathazeka ngayo loo nto.
• Ingcebiso yezonyango: Ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nokukhula komntwana wakho, qiniseka ukuba ubona ugqirha.
• Yakha ukuzithemba: Ukuphakama yinto enye. Zixabise ezinye izakhono kunye neempawu zomntwana wakho. Mncede aphuhlise isimo sengqondo esihle ngaye.

Ngoko ke, ukuba umntwana wakho ukhathazekile ngobude bakhe, mqonde, thetha naye ngothando, kwaye ufumane ingcebiso kagqirha ukuba kuyimfuneko, kwaye ungafumana amandla okujongana nale ngxaki!

Ubude bomntwana, ubude, ukukhula, imfuza, ukufikisa, isondlo, impilo