Nna bi wɔ yɛn abrabɔ mu a ɛmfa ho nea yɛbɛyɛ no, yɛnte anigye anaa ahotɔ biara nka. Nsusuwii bɔne, adwemmɔne nkutoo na ɛkɔ so ba yɛn tirim. Adwuma ho, nnamfo ho, ɔhaw ahorow a ɛwɔ fie ho... Ebia wobɛte nka sɛ eyi nyinaa yɛ adesoa kɛse wɔ w’adwene so ɛtɔ mmere bi a. Eyi yɛ biribi a yɛn nyinaa yɛ pɛ ankasa. Ɛtɔ mmere bi a yɛn nyinaa nya adwenemhaw. Ɛyɛ ade a ɛyɛ daa yiye.
Nanso ɔhaw no ne sɛ, sɛ saa nsusuwii bɔne yi kɔ so ba na efi ase twitwiw yɛn adwene mu a, dɛn na yɛyɛ saa bere no? Momma yɛnka eyi ho asɛm nkɔ akyiri kakra.
Bere bɛn na nsusuwii bɔne bɛyɛ nea asiane wom?
Bere a ɛyɛ ade a ɛfata sɛ wubenya nsusuwii bɔne no, ɛnyɛ biribi a ɛsɛ sɛ wobu no adewa. Nhwehwɛmu ada no adi sɛ sɛ obi wɔ adwenemhaw anaa dadwen ho sɛnkyerɛnne ahorow a , saa nsusuwii bɔne a ɛkɔ so daa yi betumi de nkate ne nipadua mu ɔhaw ahorow a emu yɛ den aba.
Adwene a ɛnteɛ a ɛba bere ne bere mu no rempira kɛse. Nanso sɛ saa nsusuwii ahorow yi kɔ so ba w’adwenem mpɛn pii, nna pii wɔ bere koro mu a, ebetumi asɛe adwene ntɛmntɛm . Titiriw sɛ wowɔ nsusuwii te sɛ eyinom a, ebetumi ayɛ frankaa kɔkɔɔ:
- " Ɛrennyɛ yiye mma me da."
- "Eyi ne sɛnea ɛba bere nyinaa ."
Ɛsɛ sɛ yɛhwɛ yiye kakra wɔ nsusuwii a ɛde nsɛmfua te sɛ "da" anaa "bere nyinaa" di dwuma no ho.
Sɛ yɛbɛka no tiawa a, yɛfrɛ no "Ruminating" bere a yɛkɔ so susuw adeyɛ anaa adwene bɔne koro no ara ho mpɛn pii no. Ɛte sɛ nantwi a ɔrehwehwɛ nneɛma, ɔrehwehwɛ ade koro no ara mpɛn pii. Eyi ne ade a asiane wom sen biara. Sɛ yɛde adwene bɔne biako te sɛ eyi fi ase a, ebetumi akɔfa nsusuwii bɔne afoforo nkɔnsɔnkɔnsɔn mu, na awiei koraa no atwe yɛn akɔ adwennwen a yentumi nsusuw ho mu.
Enti wobɛyɛ dɛn ahu bere a saa nsusuwii ahorow a ɛwɔ w’adwene mu yi repira wo sen sɛ ɛbɛboa wo? Bisa wo ho nsɛm yi:
- So saa nsusuwii ahorow yi aka mo abusuabɔ ?
- So eyi atwitware w’adwuma anaa w’adwumayɛ mu?
- So woadan akɔ nsa anaa nnubɔne so na ama saa nhyɛso yi afi hɔ?
- So tebea yi akɔ so bɛboro adapɛn abien ? So wote nka sɛ wuntumi nkwati saa kyinhyia a ɛne sɛ wobɛkɔ so akɔhyɛ w’adwene mu yi?
- So woresusuw ho sɛ wobɛma w’asetra aba awiei ? Ɛsɛ sɛ wohwehwɛ mmoa ntɛm ara, titiriw sɛ woabɔ mmɔden ketewaa bi mpo sɛ wobɛyɛ saa (e.g., wokyerɛw krataa a ɛkyerɛ sɛ wukum wo ho, woreboaboa nnuru ano).
Sɛ wo mmuaeɛ ma saa nsɛmmisa yi yɛ "yiw" a, adeɛ a ɛyɛ papa sɛ wobɛyɛ ne sɛ wo ne oduruyɛfoɔ (oduruyɛfoɔ) a wowɔ ne mu ahotosoɔ bɛhyia na woaka yei ho asɛm.
Akwan a mfaso wɔ so a wobɛfa so ama w’adwene ade ne ho no bi ne dɛn?
Akwan pii wɔ hɔ a yebetumi afa so abɔ mmɔden sɛ yɛbɛtwe yɛn ho afi saa nsusuwii bɔne yi nsam. Eyinom mu pii hyɛ ayaresa bi a wɔfrɛ no Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) ase . Sɛ yɛbɛka no tiawa a, eyi hwehwɛ sɛ yɛsan susuw sɛnea yesusuw nneɛma ho no ho. Adwene ne nneyɛe ho oduruyɛfo anaa adwene ne nneyɛe ho ɔbenfo betumi aboa wo wɔ eyi mu.
Nanso, ansa na wobɛkɔ oduruyɛfo nkyɛn no, nneɛma kakraa bi a w’ankasa wubetumi asɔ ahwɛ ni.
| Ɔkwan a ebetumi aba a wobɛfa so asɔ ahwɛ | Sɛ yɛbɛka no tiawa a... |
|---|---|
| Gye nkate ahorow tom. | Ɛyɛ ade a ɛfata sɛ wubedi awerɛhow bere a wo dɔfo anaa adwuma bi afi wo nsa no. Gye tom sɛ "Me werɛ ahow." Te ase sɛ nkate yɛ adebɔ mu ade. |
| Hu adwene no pɛpɛɛpɛ. | Dɛn ne adwene titiriw a ɛrehaw wo? Bubu mu asinasin. Sɛ wususuw sɛ, "Meyɛ obi a madi nkogu a," bisa wo ho sɛ, "Dɛn nti na misusuw saa?" Fa saa adwene no te sɛ ade a woafa na hwehwɛ mu. |
| Hwɛ sɛnea nsusuwii teɛ | San w’akyi kakra, yi wo nkate horow no fi hɔ, na susuw nneɛma ho wɔ ntease mu. Adanse bɛn na ɛfoa w’adwene no so? Adanse bɛn na ɛwɔ hɔ a ɛtia? Sɛ wote nka sɛ woreyɛ biribiara a ɛnteɛ a, bisa wo ho sɛ, "So nneɛma bi wɔ hɔ a mereyɛ no yiye?" |
| Hwɛ no fi baabi foforo. | So ɔkwan foforo bi wɔ hɔ a yɛbɛfa so ahwɛ tebea yi? Sɛ nhwɛso no: "So anka m'adwuma a mɛhwere no rentumi nyɛ mfaso mma me? Ebia ɛrebue kwan ama biribi a eye sen saa." Susuw ho sɛ akwanside ahorow hyɛ suban mu den, na nneɛma a wɔhwere no ma wotumi gyina tebea horow ano. |
| Susuw ho sɛ "Enti dɛn?" | Eyi kyerɛ sɛ ɔhaw a worehyia no nyɛ kɛse saa bere a wode toto wiase nyinaa ho no. Nkurɔfo san sɔre bere a abusuabɔ asɛe akyi. Ɛno ne nea asetra kyerɛ. Hwɛ ɔhaw no wɔ akyirikyiri. Mfa ahopere nsi gyinae. |
Nneɛma afoforo a ebetumi aboa
Akwan yi akyi no, nneɛma afoforo a ɛnyɛ den wɔ hɔ a wubetumi ayɛ de aboa.
- Ade a ɛtwetwe adwene: Nneɛma te sɛ apɔw-mu-teɛteɛ, nhoma akenkan, ahodwiriwde bi a wobɛyɛ, anaa w’adamfo bi a wo ne no bɛkasa betumi aboa wo ma woayi w’adwene afi ɔhaw ahorow a ɛrehaw wo so bere tiaa bi no so.
- Akyerɛw: Nea ɛwɔ w’adwene mu a wobɛkyerɛw agu krataa so nso yɛ ɔkwan pa a wobɛfa so ama w’adwene mu ada hɔ. Ɛtɔ mmere bi a mmuae no betumi aba w’ani so pɛɛ.
- Nnamfo ne abusuafo: Sɛ wote nka sɛ woayɛ basaa a, ɛho hia sɛ wo nnamfo ne w’abusuafo bɛtwa wo ho ahyia na woanpia wo akɔ akyirikyiri. Sɛ wobɛbisa sɛ, "Ɛte sɛ nea wowɔ nsɛmmisa pii wɔ w'adwene mu," anaasɛ wode nyansahyɛ ahorow te sɛ, "So ɛrenyɛ papa sɛ yesusuw eyi ho saa kwan yi so?" betumi ayɛ mmoa kɛse.
Ade a ɛho hia sen biara ne sɛ worentwentwɛn wo nan ase da sɛ wobɛhwehwɛ mmoa a efi animdefo hɔ. Ebia ade titiriw a ɛbɛma yɛadi saa nsusuwii bɔne yi so no nyɛ nea yesusuw, na mmom sɛnea yesusuw nneɛma ho no.
Nnipa binom wɔ hɔ a bere nyinaa wɔde "glass half empty" adwene na ɛhwɛ wiase no. Ɛne sɛ, wohu biribiara sɛ mfomso wɔ ho, sɛ enye. Nanso wosusuw sɛ ɔkwan a wɔfa so susuw nneɛma ho no teɛ koraa. Sɛ́ oduruyɛfo no, ɛnyɛ m’adwuma ne sɛ me ne wɔn begye akyinnye anaasɛ mɛhyɛ wɔn ma wɔahu wiase no ɔkwan foforo so.
Asɛmmisa a mebisa obi a ɔte saa ne sɛ, "Okay, ɛma wote nka sɛn sɛ wobɛdwene saa? Sɛ wo botaeɛ wɔ asetena mu ne sɛ wobɛnya anigyeɛ, wobɛnya abusuabɔ pa a, so adwene a ɛte saa boa wo ma woduru saa botaeɛ no ho?"
Nkrasɛm a Wɔde Kɔ Fie
- Ɛyɛ ade a ɛfata sɛ wubenya nsusuwii bɔne, nanso sɛ wodwennwen nneɛma koro no ara ho mpɛn pii a, epira adwenemyare.
- Sɛ wo nsusuwii kura nsɛmfua te sɛ "bere nyinaa" anaa "da," na saa nsusuwii no renya w'asetra so nkɛntɛnso (abusuabɔ, adwuma) a, ebetumi ayɛ kɔkɔbɔ nsɛnkyerɛnne.
- Sɛ saa tebea yi kɔ so bɛboro adapɛn abien anaasɛ wowɔ adwene sɛ wubekum wo nkwa a, nsɛe bere na kɔ oduruyɛfo nkyɛn ntɛm ara.
- Wubetumi asɔ CBT akwan horow ahwɛ ama w’ankasa, te sɛ w’adwene a wubehu, ne mudi mu a wobɛhwehwɛ mu, na woahwɛ no wɔ ɔkwan foforo so.
- Apɔw-mu-teɛteɛ, nneɛma a wode gye w’ani, ne obi a wowɔ ne mu ahotoso a wo ne no bɔ nkɔmmɔ nso betumi aboa ma w’adwene ayɛ mmerɛw.
- Ɛsɛ sɛ botae titiriw ne sɛ wubenya adwene a ɛbɛboa wo ma w’ani agye na woanya apɔwmuden.
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