Breast cancer is a life-changing experience. One of the biggest impacts on your sex life is your sex drive. While many people are reluctant to talk about it, it's not just you. Sexual problems are common among women during and after cancer treatment . In fact, one study found that 70% of women recovering from breast cancer reported sexual difficulties.
It's normal for your sex life to take a backseat during treatment and as you deal with the changes in your body. But at the same time, the closeness you have with your partner can help you stay mentally strong during this difficult time. Fortunately, there are ways to manage issues like low sex drive and vaginal dryness and make your relationship happy again.
Common problems and their solutions
Let's take a look at the common sexual problems faced by women living with breast cancer and how to deal with them. To understand this information clearly, see the table below.
| Problem | The reasons for it and what you can do about it |
|---|---|
| Physical changes in the body | Surgery and treatments can cause pain in the breast area and other parts of the body. Touch that once brought pleasure may now be painful. Solutions: - Learn new things about your body. Find out what types of touch you feel comfortable with, whether through masturbation or with a partner. - Your partner may be afraid of hurting you, so talk openly. - Use things like pillows for support. Try new positions that don't put pressure on painful areas. - If you have difficulty reaching orgasm , a vibrator can help. |
| Lack of sexual desire | The physical and psychological effects of cancer and its treatments can make it difficult to even think about sex. Some treatments can cause early menopause and a decrease in desire. Solutions: - Talk honestly with your partner about this. - Tell your doctor too. He or she will advise you on how to manage side effects like nausea and fatigue. - Exercise. It feels good for the body and mind. - Do little things that make you happy. A new hairstyle, a new outfit will boost your confidence. - Try new things with your partner. |
| Vaginal dryness | This condition can be caused by hormonal changes caused by treatment, which can make sex painful. Solutions: - Use lubricants. These are gels that are used before sex. Water-based, unscented types are best. - Use vaginal moisturizers . These are usually applied at bedtime. Both types are available over the counter. |
| Changes in appearance | Things like hair loss, surgical scars, loss of a breast, and weight changes can make you feel ashamed and uncomfortable. Solutions: - Before starting treatment, ask your doctor about ways to minimize these changes. - Think about what you like about your body. Talk about this with someone close to you. - If you feel uncomfortable being naked, wear nice lingerie or a bra . - If you find it difficult to deal with these feelings alone, seek the help of a mental health counselor. |
| Mental problems and emotions | Depression, negative thoughts, and feelings of helplessness are common. These can affect your self-esteem and relationships. Solutions: - Get support from your partner, family, and friends. - Join a support group. Talking to people who have had similar experiences as you is a great source of strength. - If these negative feelings persist, ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health counselor . |
More ways to improve your sex life
No matter what the level of these problems, these things can help you increase intimacy with your partner.
Keep talking to your partner.
Imagine, your partner is just as worried about this as you are. He may feel pressured, he may not know how you feel, he may not know how to touch you. He may even think that it's his fault that your desire has waned.
When you talk openly about this, he will feel more empowered to say what's on his mind. This conversation will bring you closer together.
Together, you can choose a lubricant, set aside time to spend together, pay more attention to foreplay, and find a position that is comfortable for you.
Create a different kind of intimacy
Whether you're ready to have sex or not, there are other ways to get closer to your partner.
- Hold hands.
- Hug each other, kiss.
- Stay physically close.
These things will strengthen your relationship and help you get used to physical touch again.
Join a support group.
If there's anyone who can understand your journey better than you, it's someone who has or will face breast cancer. Talking about your struggles with someone who "gets it" can be a great relief. It also gives you the opportunity to learn how others have overcome similar challenges.
Go at your own pace.
These issues can't be solved overnight. Be patient, make changes little by little. There is no right or wrong time to have sex again after a cancer diagnosis. Some women want to continue having sex during treatment. Others may not even think about it until after treatment is over. Do what feels right to you. Go at a pace that you are comfortable with.
Take-Home Message
- It's very common to experience sexual problems due to breast cancer and its treatment. You are not alone.
- It is essential to talk openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings, fears, and needs.
- Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about problems like vaginal dryness, pain, or decreased desire. He or she can help you.
- Simple solutions like lubricants and moisturizers can make a big difference.
- Intimacy is more than just sex. Cuddling, kissing, and even holding hands can strengthen a relationship.
- Give yourself and your body time. Be patient. Go at a pace that is comfortable for you.
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