Is divorce a problem for you too? Let's talk about it!

When your parents decide to divorce, you may feel a lot of different things and have a lot of questions. That's normal, because it's a big change for everyone in your family, including you. But there are many things you can do to get through this situation and make up your mind. Let's talk about that, okay?

What can you do to make up your mind when your parents divorce?

It's not easy to deal with the feelings and questions that come to mind at a time like this. But try these few things, you'll feel relief.

Speak what's on your mind, listen.

It can be a big puzzle for you to know that your parents don't want to be together. Don't be afraid to ask them any questions you have. Sometimes, if you find it hard to find the words, you can write them a letter. It can be a great relief to get your feelings out there.

Think about it, you probably want to know things like "Why is this happening?", "Who am I with now?", "Will I have to change schools?". It's your right to ask these questions.

Tell me how you feel when your parents fight.

Sometimes your parents may fight in front of you, or talk harshly to each other. Tell them that you are feeling sad or upset. Then they will try to be a little more careful around you. Or you can leave the room for a while. Remember, your feelings are very valuable.

"Mom, Dad, I feel so sad when you fight. I feel scared." It's probably as simple as saying this.

Understand that you don't have to "take sides"

Some parents try to get their children to side with them. They can say bad things about the other person. If that happens, you can tell them that you want to talk to your mom and dad and spend time with them. You shouldn't take sides because you think the other person will be angry, sad, or jealous. You deserve both.

Talk to other trusted people

Talk about your feelings with an adult you trust. This could be a teacher, counselor , therapist , or religious leader (such as a priest, priest, or priest). Talk to your friends, too. If any of them have divorced parents, they may be more understanding.

Imagine, if your best friend's parents also got divorced, how they dealt with it could help you too.

Focus on schoolwork and other activities

Keep doing your schoolwork, sports, and club activities without any changes. When things at home change, it will be a great strength to have other things in your life that are normal. These things will take your mind off your problems for a while.

Eat well, sleep well.

When we are feeling down, we may feel like eating junk food and staying up late watching videos. But when you eat healthy food and get enough rest (sleep), your body will feel better. Then it will be easier for you to deal with difficult emotions during these difficult times.

Find ways to reduce stress.

When you're feeling stressed, there are many things you can do to calm your mind. Try a few of these:

• Exercise: You can jump, walk in place, run, dance, or play a sport you like. When we exercise, our bodies produce chemicals called endorphins . This makes us feel happy and relaxed.
• Get outside: Get outside and breathe in some fresh air. Go for a walk, ride a bike. Nature is a great way to relax.
• Try yoga: Yoga poses give your body a good stretch, improve your breathing, and relax your body and mind.
• Take a deep breath: Breathe in through your nose. Your belly should expand like a balloon. Then breathe out through your nose. Your belly should contract again. Doing this a few times will help you calm down.
• Do something you enjoy: listen to a song, watch a funny story, draw a picture, write in a journal, or play with your pet. Even just a little chat with someone who makes you happy and makes you laugh is good.

Can't I get my parents back together?

Getting your parents back together is not something you can do. Many children wish for it, and sometimes they do things they think are right. If you follow all the rules at home and do really well in school, your parents will be happy, but it's hard to imagine that it will make them forget about the divorce.

They won't get back together just because you've been a troublemaker, broken the rules, or made their parents talk about you. Divorce is a matter between them, not something you do.

Your parents' divorce is a big change, but by telling them how you feel and dealing with it in a healthy way, you can get through this difficult time.

What should I do if my sadness and anger won't go away?

If you can't get over your parents' divorce, and you feel a lot of anxiety, sadness, or anger every day, definitely talk to an adult about it. They can refer you to a therapist or counselor .

Therapists are people who are trained to understand and help children with their emotional problems. They will ask you questions, listen carefully to what you have to say, teach you how to deal with these situations, and help you to make up your mind. It's not something to be ashamed of, it's something you can do for yourself.

Final Take-Home Message

Your parents' divorce can be like a huge storm coming into your life. But remember:

• This is not your fault. No matter what you do or don't do, you can't change your parents' decisions.
• It's normal to feel sad, angry, and upset. Don't keep those feelings bottled up.
• Talking is very important. Talk about your feelings and problems with your parents, trusted adults, and friends.
• Continue your daily activities as normal. Don't give up on schoolwork, sports, or hobbies.
• Think about your physical health too. Eat well, sleep well, and exercise.
• Use stress-reducing techniques. Find something that works for you.
• Never hesitate to seek professional help if necessary. A therapist can provide you with great relief.

You are not alone. This difficult time will pass. You can get through this strong.

` Divorce, parental separation, children's mental health, stress management, counseling, therapy, Sri Lanka