Yu pikin kin trowe fɔ vɛks? Lɛ wi tɔk bɔt dis!

As mama ɔ papa, sɔntɛnde yu kin de wɔnda se, ‘Wetin mek mi pikin de biev dis kayn we?’ We yu smɔl pikin bigin fɔ kray, ala, ɔ rɔl rawnd na grɔn wantɛm wantɛm, i kin mek yu at pwɛl bad bad wan, ɛn sɔntɛnde i kin ivin vɛks. I rili nɔmal. Bɔt bifo wi luk dɛn ‘trɔbul’ ya as jɔs tin we de mɔna wi ɔ bad tin, wetin wi go du if wi si dɛn as gud chans fɔ tich wi pikin dɛn sɔntin ɛn ɔndastand dɛn?

Wetin mek yɔŋ pikin dɛn kin tray tranga wan lɛk dis? Wetin na Temper Tantrums?

Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, dɛn wamat tantrum ya , ɔ as wi kin kɔl am na Inglish, na we fɔ mek pikin dɛn fri wan strɔng filin, lɛk fɔ fil bad, fɔ vɛks, fɔ fil bad, ɔ fɔ fred, we dɛn gɛt insay. I tan lɛk smɔl volkeno. I nɔ kin ebul fɔ kɔntinyu fɔ de insay ɛn i kin bɔn wantɛm wantɛm. Bɔku tɛm, dɛn kin si dɛn tin ya pan pikin dɛn we ol bitwin wan ɛn tri ia, sɔntɛnde dɛn kin si 4 ia . I nɔ mata if na gyal pikin ɔ bɔy pikin, dɛn ɔl tu kin sho di sem kayn we aw dɛn de biev na dis ej.

Sɔm bebi dɛn kin rol ɔp bɔku tɛm, ivin bɔku tɛm insay di de. Ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ kin du dis, lɛk wan tɛm insay di mɔnt. Bɔt wi ɔl nid fɔ ɔndastand fɔs se dis na rili nɔmal stej we pikin de gro . Dat min se, nɔ fil bad we yu tink se na yu pikin nɔmɔ de du dis. Dis na sɔntin we ɔl di smɔl pikin dɛn na di wɔl kin gɛt te to sɔm mak.

Wetin mek pikin dɛn kin tɔn agens? Lɛ wi luk sɔm pan di rizin dɛn.

Okay, naw lɛ wi si wetin mek dɛn smɔl pikin ya kin bigin fɔ akt lɛk dis wantɛm wantɛm. Nɔto wan rizin nɔmɔ de fɔ dis, bɔku rizin dɛn kin de.

Dis na nɔmal tin fɔ dɛn divɛlɔpmɛnt?

Yɛs, na fɔ tru. Yu nɔ fɔ sɔprayz fɔ yɛri dis. As wi bin dɔn tɔk bifo tɛm, we pikin vɛks na pat pan di we aw pikin de fil . Dɛn ɔl na pat pan dɛn joyn fɔ ɔndastand di wɔl, fɔ no aw dɛn de fil, ɛn fɔ lan aw fɔ manej dɛn. I tan lɛk se smɔl plant de gro ɛn in branch dɛn de fɔdɔm. Dɛn rili de tray fɔ se, ‘A de fil bad bad wan rayt naw, a nɔ ebul fɔ tek dis igen, ɛp mi!’

Smɔl rizin dɛn fɔ mek wan rivɔlɔshɔn

Naw lɛ wi si us ɔda smɔl, ɛvride rizin dɛn kin de fɔ mek yɔŋ pikin bigin fɔ chenj.

• Taya: We dɛn taya fɔ ple, rɔn rawnd, ɛn lan nyu tin dɛn ɔl di de, ivin di smɔl smɔl tin dɛn kin fil big to dɛn. Jɔs lɛk aw wi kin vɛks pan smɔl smɔl tin dɛn pan de we wi rili taya.
• Angri: If dɛn nɔ gi pikin dɛn tin fɔ it di rayt tɛm, di peshɛnt we pikin dɛn go gɛt go stɔp ivin we dɛn angri. Di wɔd we dɛn kin se "Dɛbul de dans we i angri" nɔto tru.
• Wan tin we nɔ izi fɔ du:If di klos we yu wɛr tayt, ɔ di daypa wet, ɔ yu de swet ɛn fil bad, ivin smɔl prɔblɛm lɛk dat kin bi di biginin fɔ big chenj. Tink bɔt am, na di sem tin fɔ wi, nɔto so? Bikɔs bebi dɛn nɔ no aw fɔ tɔk am wit wɔd, dɛn kin tɛl wi bay we dɛn de kray.
• Nɔ gɛt wetin dɛn want: Sɔntɛnde, pikin dɛn we de smɔl kin want tɔys, kandy we dɛn si na stɔ, ɔ katun fim fɔ wach. If dɛn nɔ gɛt am wantɛm wantɛm, dɛn kin bigin fɔ vɛks. Dɛn kin ala ɛn kray se, ‘A want dat! A want am naw!’
• Fɔ mek pipul dɛn pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn: Sɔntɛnde, we mama ɛn papa de na fon ɔ bizi wit ɔda tin dɛn, ɛn nid fɔ mek dɛn pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn kwik kwik wan, smɔl pikin dɛn kin bigin fɔ akt. We dɛn nɔ no aw fɔ se, "Mama, luk mi!", dɛn kin tray fɔ gɛt da atɛnshɔn de bay we dɛn de kray.
• Nɔ ebul fɔ mek ɔda pipul dɛn du wetin dɛn want: Imajin se yu sista ol di tablɛt na in an, ɛn yu brɔda want am rayt naw. Yu sista nɔ go gi yu. Ivin da tɛm de, yu brɔda kin vɛks ɛn gɛt mɛlt. Ɔ, if yu mama se ‘nɔ’ to sɔntin, ɛn yu nɔ ebul fɔ mek i se ‘yes’, dis kin apin.

Fɔ lan fɔ bia wit de pwɛl hat wae dɛn kin fil sɔmtɛm lɛk dis na skil wae dɛn kin gɛt as tɛm de go. Dis min se i nɔ go apin wan nɛt. Wi nid fɔ peshɛnt ɛn ɛp dɛn fɔ du dat.

Wen dem no fit tok exactly wetin dem want...

Dɛn kayn we ya we pɔsin kin vɛks ɔ we i kin vɛks , kin apin mɔ na di sɛkɔn ia we pikin de liv . Dat min se dɛn kin si dɛn bitwin wan ɛn sɔm mɔnt ɛn tu ia. Yu no wetin mek dis kin apin da tɛm de? Di men rizin fɔ dis na bikɔs dɛn langwej skil dɛn de bigin fɔ divɛlɔp da tɛm de. Dɛn kin ɔndastand sɔm wɔd dɛn ɛn dɛn kin ivin tɔk sɔm wɔd dɛn. Dɛn kin yuz simpul wɔd dɛn lɛk "mama", "papa", "bebi", "fud", "wata".

Bɔt, dɛn wɔd dɛn nɔ big fɔ ebul fɔ tɔk ɔl wetin dɛn de tink, ɔl wetin dɛn want, ɛn di filin dɛn we dɛn de fil (kɔmplikt filin lɛk sɔri-at, vɛks, gladi at, ɛn fred) insay wan kɔmplit sɛntɛns. Dɛn langwej skil stil de na wan rili ali stej.

Imajin, yu rili angri, bɔt yu nɔ no aw fɔ se ‘A angri, fid mi’. Ɔ, if yu at pwɛl bad bad wan bɔt sɔntin, bɔt yu nɔ ebul fɔ tɔk da sɔri-at de to ɛnibɔdi, aw yu go fil? Na so i kin apin to smɔl pikin dɛn. Dɛn gɛt sɔm prɔblɛm, sɔm nid, bɔt dɛn nɔ no aw fɔ kɔmyuniket am to ɔda pipul dɛn, fɔ put am na wɔd. Na da tɛm de dɛn filin dɛn de kin kɔmɔt as twist wit di frustrashɔn we kin bil na dɛn at. Dis na lɛk dɛn langwej, da bihayvya de. As dɛn langwej skil de go bifo smɔl smɔl, yu go ebul fɔ si fɔ yusɛf se dis twist sɛf go stɔp smɔl smɔl.

"A want am, a want fɔ du am misɛf!" - Big drim fɔ smɔl pikin dɛn

arawnd wan ɛn af ɔ tu ia, pikin dɛn we de smɔl kin gɛt strɔng want fɔ du ɔltin fɔ dɛnsɛf (indipɛndɛns) . Dɛn want fɔ kɔntrol di say we dɛn de. Dɛn kin tink tin dɛn lɛk, ‘A go put mi yon sus’, ‘A go it mi yon it’, ‘A want da tɔys de’, ‘A go klaym di stej mi wan’. Dis na rili gud sayn fɔ se dɛn de divɛlɔp. Smɔl smɔl, dɛn de lan bɔt di wɔl ɛn tɛst wetin dɛn ebul fɔ du.

Bɔt afta dat, dɛn want tin dɛn we big pas aw dɛn rili ebul fɔ du. Dat min se, dɛn kin op fɔ pas di tin dɛn we dɛn kin du na dɛn bɔdi ɛn maynd. We dɛn de tink se, ‘Na mi wangren go ebul fɔ du dis!’ ɛn nɔ ebul fɔ du am, ɔ we dɛn tink se, ‘A want dat naw!’ ɛn nɔ gɛt am, dɛn kin vɛks bad bad wan ɛn dɛn kin fil bad. Na da tɛm de da rivays de bigin bak. I tan lɛk ‘ pawa strɛch ’ bitwin dɛnsɛf ɛn di tin dɛn we dɛn nɔ ebul fɔ du. Dɛn kin tray fɔ win di wɔl, dɛn kin tray fɔ gɛt wetin dɛn want, bɔt we dɛn nɔ ebul, dɛn kin tray fɔ win am bay we dɛn de kray ɔ bay we dɛn de tɔn rawnd.

Us kayn tin pikin dɛn kin du we chenj de?

Naw lɛ wi tɔk bɔt us kayn tin ɛn abit dɛn we yɔŋ pikin dɛn kin sho we dɛn vɛks . Dis kin difrɛn frɔm wan pɔsin to ɔda pɔsin. Nɔto ɔl pikin dɛn kin vɛks di sem we. Sɔm vɛksteshɔn dɛn kin rili smɔl, ɛn ɔda wan dɛn kin rili bad.

• Sɔm pipul dɛn de whining , jɔs de pul ɛn pul, kray lɛk se dɛn de na kɔma.
• Ɔda wan dɛn de kray lawd wan , ɛn dɛn de kray.
• Sɔm pipul dɛn de ala , lawd wan fɔ yɛri dɛn ɔlsay na di gem, sɔntɛm ivin frɔm di os we de nia dɛn.
• If i wɔs, dɛn kin kik, bit , ɔ ivin bit dɛn mama ɛn papa, ɔ trowe sɔntin we dɛn gɛt na dɛn an.
• I de ledɔm na grɔn, de rɔl rawnd , de flay in an ɛn leg dɛn.
• Sɔm pikin dɛm, dis kin at fɔ wach smɔl, ɛn sɔntin we kin rili mek mama ɛn papa fred, na fɔ ol dɛn briz (Breath-Holding Spells) . Wantɛm wantɛm dɛn kin stɔp fɔ blo, sɔntɛnde te dɛn fes tɔn blu. Afta sɔm tɛm, dɛn kin bigin fɔ blo bak, ɛn sɔntɛnde dɛn nɔ kin no natin. We mama dɛn si dis, dɛn kin fred bad bad wan. Bɔt dis (Breath-Holding Spells) na sayn bak we sɔm pikin dɛn kin sho we dɛn de chenj, mɔ we dɛn nɔ gɛt wetin dɛn want. Dis na sɔntin we wi nid fɔ tɔk bɔt apat, bikɔs i spɛshal smɔl, ɛn sɔntɛnde i kin nid fɔ go to dɔktɔ.

So aw wi fɔ si dis chenj?

So, afta yu dɔn yɛri ɔl dis, yu go dɔn ɔndastand se dɛn smɔl pikin ya de vɛks nɔto sɔntin we dɛn de du bikɔs dɛn na bad pikin, ɔ dɛn jɔs de tray fɔ mek yu vɛks ɔ mek yu vɛks.

Dis na pat pan di divɛlɔpmɛnt we dɛn de du. Na we fɔ mek dɛn lan bɔt di wɔl, ɔndastand aw dɛn de fil, bia wit dɛn, ɛn sɔm kayn we fɔ tray fɔ pul dɛn filin dɛn de.

So, we pikin mek mistek, wi nɔ fɔ jɔs si am as ‘disasta’ ɔ ‘trɔbul’, bɔt wi fɔ si am as gud chans fɔ mek wi tich di pikin sɔntin, fɔ ɔndastand am, ɛn fɔ ɛp am fɔ dil wit di we aw i de fil . I nɔ izi lɛk aw i tan, ɛn i nɔ kin izi fɔ wi fɔ bia we di pikin de ala ɔ rol na grɔn. Bɔt, if wi ɔndastand dis, i go izi smɔl fɔ wi fɔ bia wit di tin we de apin.

Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os

Okay, so mek a sɔma sɔm pan di impɔtant tin dɛm fɔ yu fɔ mɛmba frɔm wetin wi tɔk bɔt tide:

• Tεmpεr tantrum na rili nכmal pat pan di divεlכpmεnt fכ pikin dεm bitwin 1-3 ia (sכmtεm 4) . Nɔ fred ɔ shem tumɔs bɔt am.
• Pikin kin de akt bikɔs i taya, angri, i nɔ kin fil fayn, i nɔ kin gɛt wetin i want, i kin want fɔ pe atɛnshɔn to am, ɔ fɔ mek i nɔ fil bad ɔ ɔda bad tin dɛn we i kin fil .
• Ɛspɛshali te dɛn langwej skil de divɛlɔp , dɛn kin gɛt dɛn kayn chenj ya mɔ bikɔs dɛn nɔ kin ebul fɔ tɔk di rayt tin we dɛn want ɔ fil wit wɔd.
• Pikin dɛn we de smɔl kin rili want fɔ du tin dɛn fɔ dɛnsɛf (indipɛndɛns) ɛn fɔ kɔntrol di say we dɛn de (kɔntrol) . We dis pas wetin dɛn ebul fɔ du ɛn dɛn tin dɛn de we dɛn bin de op fɔ dɔn, chenj kin apin.
• We pikin gɛt vɛks, dɛn kin sho difrɛn we dɛn, frɔm we dɛn de kray to we dɛn de ala, we dɛn de rɔl na grɔn, we dɛn de flay in an ɛn fut dɛn, ɛn ivin we dɛn de ol in briz (spel dɛn we de mek dɛn nɔ blo) .
• Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na fɔ nɔ si dɛn chenj ya as bad tin na di pikin, bɔt na chans fɔ ɛp di pikin, ɔndastand am, ɛn tich am fɔ kɔntrol aw i de fil .

So, di nɛks tɛm we yu smɔl pikin bigin fɔ vɛks, bifo yu vɛks, tek smɔl tɛm fɔ tink se, ‘Wetin mi pikin de tray fɔ tɛl mi? Wetin i want rayt naw?’ Fɔ ɔndastand dat na di big tin we yu fɔ du na dis waka we nɔ izi, bɔt we fayn. If yu gɛt ɛni ɔda kwɛstyɔn bɔt dis, yu kin tɔk to yu famili dɔktɔ ɔ dɔktɔ we de mɛn pikin dɛn.

` Pikin dɛn we de bɔn, we dɛn de vɛks, di we aw di pikin dɛn de biev, di mama ɛn papa dɛn, di pikin dɛn we de divɛlɔp, di brith, di pikin dɛn sayikɔlɔji