Omwana wo abeera ne ‘set’ ku ssomero? Ka twogere ku kintu kino ekiyitibwa (Clique)!

Nkulamusizza! Omwana wo bw’agenda akula, okubeera n’emikwano kifuuka kya muwendo nnyo gy’ali, nedda? Okusukka amaka n’okutondawo emikwano gyabwe kikulu nnyo mu nkulaakulana yaabwe, kwe kugamba, okukula ng’abantu ssekinnoomu abetongodde. Emikwano gino gijja kubayamba nnyo mu kuzimba enkolagana ennungi era eyeesigika mu biseera eby’omu maaso. Naye oluusi, ‘set of friends’ eno esobola okukula mu ngeri ey’enjawulo katono, ate oluusi mu ngeri eyinza okuleeta obuzibu. Ekyo kye tugenda okwogerako leero, naddala, ebibinja bya `(Clique)`. Totya, ka twogere ku nsonga eno mu ngeri ffenna gye tusobola okutegeera, mu ngeri ennyangu.

Njawulo ki eriwo wakati w'ekibinja ky'emikwano n'ekibiina kya ``clique''?

Okay, tusooke tubeere balambulukufu ku njawulo eriwo wakati w'ekibinja ky'emikwano kyokka okukwatagana n'ekyo kye tuyita ``ekibinja''. Kino bwe tunaategeera bulungi, kijja kutukwanguyira okuyamba abaana.

Ebiseera ebisinga, emikwano gijja wamu olw’ebintu bye baagala bye bafaanaganya . Kilowoozeeko ng’ekibinja ekizannya omuzannyo gwe gumu, abaana mu kibiina kimu, abantu ababeera mu kitundu kimu, oba enkolagana y’amaka. Abantu abali mu bibinja by’emikwano eby’ekika kino balina eddembe okwogera, okuzannya, n’okukolagana n’abalala abali ebweru w’ekibiina ekyo. Tebagobwa oba okugobwa mu kibiina olw’okukikola. Tewali tteeka ligamba nti buli kimu mulina okukikola wamu. Kya bulijjo nnyo era kya bulamu.

Naye, kino `(Clique)` kya njawulo katono, kinywevu nnyo, ekibinja ekinywevu katono . Ebiseera ebisinga baba n’amateeka gaabwe n’engeri gye beeyisaamu. Amateeka agamu gano galagiddwa mu bulambulukufu, agamu gategeerekeka. Bakola ebintu bingi nga bali wamu. Naye ekizibu ekikulu wano kiri nti ekika kino ekya `(Clique)` tekizimbibwa ku mpisa za wamu, ebirowoozo ebirungi, n'enzikiriza ezikwata ku kuyambagana. Ebiseera ebisinga, ekigendererwa kyabwe ekikulu kwe kukuuma `(Status)` ne `(Popularity)` zaabwe. Okugeza, abantu mu `(Clique)` bayinza okulowooza nti ``basukkulumye'' ku balala, oba bulijjo bayinza okugezaako okulaga nti `(Clique)` yaabwe ``nnene'' okusinga abalala. Kwe kugamba, wayinza okubaawo okuvuganya buli kiseera wakati waabwe.

Lwaki abaana baffe baagala okwegatta ku `(Clique)` bwe bati?

Kati osanga olowooza nti, ‘Lwaki ku nsi abaana baagala nnyo okugenda mu mbeera zino ez’ekika kino ezizibiddwa, ezirimu ebizibu?’. Tewali nsonga emu yokka lwaki ekyo, waliwo eziwerako. Ka tulabe ekyo.

• Okwagala okubeera omuganzi: Ku baana abamu, okubeera ‘abamanyiddwa’, okubeera ‘cool’ kye kintu ekisinga obukulu gye bali. Kale, ‘ebibinja’ bino bibalabika ng’ekifo eky’okufunamu ekitiibwa mu bantu, kwe kugamba, okukkirizibwa mu bantu abalala ku ssomero. Balowooza nti, ‘Bwe mba ndi mu kibinja ekyo, buli muntu ajja kumpa ekitiibwa.’
• Okutya okubeera wekka:Abaana abalala abamu kino beegatta ku kino kubanga batya okulekebwa ebweru, bokka, n’okubula. Balowooza nti, ‘Oo, kyandibadde mu kibinja, bwe kitaba ekyo nja kuba nzekka.’ Kino kintu ekiyinza okuwulirwa naddala abaana abalina akawuuwo katono.
• Okwagala okufuga oba okugoberera: Waliwo abaana abamu abaagala okufuga abalala, okukaka abantu bye baagala, n’okuba n’abalala babawuliriza. Ku baana ng'abo, `(Clique)` eno kifo kirungi (mu bulungi oba mu bubi). Bino bitera okufugibwa ``Omukulembeze`` . Omukulembeze y’asalawo ani alina okubeera mu kibiina n’ani alina okubeera ebweru. Ate kino era kiyinza okulabika ng’ekirungi eri abaana abaagala okugoberera amateeka, abaagala okuwuliriza abalala bye boogera, era nga batya katono okwesalirawo. Kubanga, eyo, bategeezebwa bulungi ``eky'okukola''.

Naye, ekyewuunyisa, oluusi n'abaana ab'ekisa ennyo, abaganzi, era abalina ebitone baggyibwa mu `(Clique)` eno oba tebakkirizibwa mu kibiina. Ensonga lwaki kino kiri bwekityo eri nti obuntu bw’omwana n’okwekkiririzaamu biyinza okuba eby’obulabe eri omukulembeze. Omukulembeze ayinza okulowooza nti, ‘Omwana ono si muntu anwuliriza, ajja kusinga nze.’ Naddala omwana bw’aba ayagala nnyo ne bw’aba yekka, kino kitera okubaawo. Oluusi, omukulembeze ayogera ne mikwano gy'omwana okwegatta ku `(Clique)`, naye omwana omuganzi takkirizibwa. Eno nayo mbeera ya nnaku nnyo.

Lwaki abalala bawuliriza omukulembeze wa `(Clique)` by'ayogera?

Okay, kati katulabe lwaki ba members abalala ba `(Clique)` eno bawuliriza buli kimu omukulembeze ky'ayogera. Ddala kintu kye bakola olw’omukwano, olw’okwagala omukulembeze? Oba waliwo ensonga endala?

Ebiseera ebisinga, bammemba ba `(Clique)` bagoberera ddala amateeka g'omukulembeze. Kiyinza okuba, ‘Tulina okwambala ng’olunaku olusooka’, ‘Tulina okwambala olunaku oluddirira’, ‘Tetwogera na bantu mu lunaku oluddirira’, ‘Tukola ebintu eby’ekika kino byokka’, n’ebirala.Bino `(Clique)` bitera okuba n’amateeka mangi, oba agagambibwa mu bulambulukufu oba agatayogerwa . Ate era, waliwo `(Pressure)` nnyingi okugoberera amateeka ago ddala. Kireeta endowooza nti ‘Ffenna bwe tukola kino, ggwe wekka atasobola kukyuka’.

Mu butuufu, bammemba abasinga bakungaana okwetooloola omukulembeze, si lwa mukwano gwa nnamaddala, wabula lwa kuba baagala okukuuma ekifo kyabwe mu kibiina.

Abaana mu `(clique)` buli kiseera beeraliikirivu olw'ebintu nga, 'Nnaaba nkyali muganzi mu kibiina kino?', 'Singa nkola ekikyamu, njogera ekikyamu, oba okwambala mu ngeri etasaana, ekibiina kinandeka ebweru?' Kino ddala kireeta situleesi nnyingi . Bulijjo omwana atya n’okwekengera.

Ebizibu bibaawo ddi olw'ebizibu bya `(Cliques)`?

Ku baana bangi, ekiseera ekiri wakati w’emyaka kkumi n’ekkumi n’omunaana kiyitibwa ‘preteen’ ne ‘teenage’.Kye kiseera ky’ogezaako okuzuula ky’oli, engeri gy’oyagala okukwataganamu n’abantu, engeri gy’oyagala okwawukana ku balala, n’ekyo ky’oli. Kale, kya bulijjo nnyo abaana ku myaka gino okuwulira nga tebalina bukuumi ku bo bennyini ebiseera ebimu, okusuubira okukkirizibwa okuva mu balala, n’okwagala okubeera n’abaana ‘aba cool’, ‘pop’. Bwe kityo bwe kiri ku myaka egyo.

Naye, bino ``ebibinja'' bisobola okuleeta ebizibu eby'ekiseera ekiwanvu, byombi eby'omutwe n'eby'enneeyisa , naddala mu mbeera nga zino:

• Abaana bwe bakemebwa okukola ebintu bye bamanyi nti bikyamu oba nga tebakkiriziganya na nneewulira zaabwe, okusanyusa omukulembeze oba okubeera ekitundu ku kibiina. Ng’ekyokulabirako, ebintu ng’okutulugunya omuntu omulala oba okulimba.
• Abaana bwe banyigirizibwa , basaasaanya ssente nnyingi ku ngoye empya , bagula essimu ezisembyeyo, bajooga abalala, basaasaanya olugambo (ka kibeere butereevu mu maaso gaabwe oba ku yintaneeti nga bayita ku mikutu gya yintaneeti).
• Abaana bwe bawalirizibwa okukola ebintu eby’akabi ng’okubba , okukola emirimu emicaafu, oba okwonoona ebintu by’abantu abalala . Bwe banyigirizibwa okukola ebintu nga, ‘Ffenna tukikola, naawe wandibadde okikola.’
• Ekibinja bwe kifuuka ekibinja oba ekibinja ekikontana n’embeera z’abantu , okussaawo amateeka agatali malungi ng’okugejja, oba okutulugunya oba okutiisatiisa abalala okusinziira ku ndabika, obulemu, eggwanga, oba eddiini.
• Omwana bw’awulira ng’agaaniddwa nnyo, ng’asuuliddwa ku bbali, era ng’amwekutudde ku balala ekibinja, kino kiyinza okwonoona ennyo omwana okwetwala.

Lowooza ku kino, ``(Cliques)`` zino zisinga kuba za maanyi, ekitegeeza nti ebizibu bifuuka bya maanyi nnyo, ng'omwana ali mu bibiina eby'omukaaga, musanvu, oba munaana (Middle school). Naye oluusi ebizibu bino ebya ``(Clique)`` bisobola okutandika nga bukyali ku myaka ena oba etaano. N’olwekyo, kirungi kino okukimanya okuva mu buto.

Tuyinza tutya okuyamba ng’abazadde?

Okay, kati omwana wo bw’aba alwana, mpozzi ng’abonaabona, n’emikwano gino, `(Cliques), waliwo ebintu bingi ggwe, kwe kugamba, ffe, ng’abazadde bye tusobola okukola okubiwagira. Ka tulabe kye bali. Bino bintu byangu nnyo, bya mugaso.

• Gamba ku by’oyitamu: Yogerako n’omwana wo ku by’oyitamu ku ssomero, ebibinja bye mwayolekagana nabyo, n’obutakkaanya bwe mwalina ne mikwano gyo. Babuulire engeri gye wali owulira ku bintu ebyo n’engeri gye wabikwatamu. Kino kijja kuyamba omwana wo okutegeera nti ebintu bino tebimutuukako yekka.
• Gezaako okutegeera oludda lw'omukulembeze: Nnyonnyola omwana wo nti ne bwe baba nga ye mukulembeze wa ``(clique)'', bayinza okuba nga buli muntu omulala yenna , nga beeraliikirivu olw'okubeera abaganzi era nga bakkirizibwa abalala . Bagambe nti omukulembeze ayinza okuba ng’akola bw’atyo okubikka ku butali butebenkevu bwabwe.
• Yanjula ebitabo ne firimu ebituufu: Funa ebitabo ne firimu omwana wo by’ayinza okukwatagana nabyo ebikwata ku mikwano n’ebibinja. Okugeza ekitabo nga ‘Blubber’ ekya Judy Bloom oba firimu nga ‘Mean Girls’. (Bino biri mu Lungereza, bwe kiba kisoboka, bitunuulire n’omwana wo era mubyogereko. Kino kijja kwanguyira omwana wo okutegeera embeera.)
• Kubiriza emirimu egy’ebweru w’essomero: Kubiriza omwana wo okwetaba mu mirimu egimuggya ku ssomero . Ebintu nga emisomo gy’ebyemikono, emisomo gy’okuyimba, egy’emizannyo, egy’okulwana, emisomo gy’olulimi, ebibiina ebikuuma obutonde bw’ensi, emirimu egy’obwannakyewa, n’ebirala Bino biwa omwana wo omukisa okukola emikwano ebweru w’essomero, okusinziira ku bye baagala ennyo, ab’emyaka egy’enjawulo, n’okuva mu masomero ag’enjawulo. Olwo ekibinja ky’amasomero tekijja kuba nsi yaabwe yokka.
• Somesa emikwano emirungi n’okufaayo: Kubiriza omwana wo okuba n’emikwano emirungi era emirungi . Bayigirize obutakwatibwa nnyo mu ``bubinja'' buno. Bayigirize okufaayo ku nneewulira z’abalala n’okwekolera ekituufu, so si kugoberera bantu bulijjo . Bayigirize mu ngeri ennyangu nti, "Tetulina kubuuka mu luzzi ng'abalala bonna babuuka mu."

Osobola okunnyonnyola omwana wo nti bino ``ebibinja'' bisobola okukyuka amangu ennyo, nti ekibinja ekiriwo leero kiyinza okubula enkya, kale ddala kikulu okuba n'emikwano emirungi, egy'amazima, era egy'okutegeera . Ekyama ekisinga obunene mu kubeera omuganzi mu butuufu era nga buli muntu ayagalibwa kwe kubeera mukwano gw’oyagala okuba eri abalala.

N’ekisembayo, ebintu ebitonotono by’olina okujjukira (Obubaka bw’okutwala awaka) .

Kale, nsuubira kati olina ekirowoozo ekirungi ku ngeri `(Clique)` eno gy'ekosaamu obulamu bw'abaana, ebizibu bye kiyinza okuleeta, n'engeri gye tusaanidde okukikolamu. Jjukira nti buli mwana ayolekagana n’ebintu eby’engeri eno mu kiseera ekimu mu bulamu bwe. Kya bulijjo. Ekisinga obukulu kwe kwogera n’omwana wo mu lwatu, okumuwuliriza, era bulijjo omuleete okuwulira nti olina obuwagizi, okwagala, n’okumufaako.

• Emikwano kikulu nnyo, naye tolina kugondera puleesa n'amateeka agateetaagisa aga ``(Cliques)''.
• Bulijjo akubiriza omwana wo okukola ekyo ky’awulira nti kituufu, okusinziira ku muntu we ow’omunda.
• Bayigirize okuyisa abalala mu ngeri ey’ekisa, okussaamu ekitiibwa, n’okutegeera enneewulira z’abalala.
• Omwana wo bw’aba alina ekizibu, mukubirize okukyogerako era omusabe obuyambi. Kino kiyinza okuba nga kiva gy’oli, omusomesa oba omuntu omulala omukulu gwe beesiga.

Nga olina ebintu bino mu birowoozo, mazima ddala osobola okuyamba omwana wo okutambulira obulungi mu nkolagana zino enzibu ez’omukwano. Olwo kijja kubanguyira okukola emikwano emirungi, egy’essanyu, era egy’olubeerera. Mugende bulungi ggwe n'omwana wo!

` Emikwano gy'abaana, ebibinja by'amasomero, okunyigirizibwa bannaabwe, amagezi g'abazadde, ebibinja, obukugu mu mbeera z'abantu