Ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa sengathi uwedwa ngokuphelele kuleli zwe? Awuzizwa sengathi ukhuluma nabanye noma uhleka ngenxa yosizi nengcindezi oyizwayo? Uzizwa sengathi ubudlelwano bakho nomndeni nabangane buyahlukana kancane kancane ngenxa yokucindezeleka? Eqinisweni, ukucindezeleka kuyinto engathinti nje kuphela izingqondo zethu, kodwa futhi nobudlelwano bethu nalabo abasizungezile. Uma kunjalo, lesi sihloko sizoba sibaluleke kakhulu kuwe, ngoba namuhla sikhuluma ngendlela yokwelapha ekhethekile ezokusiza uphulukise ubudlelwano bakho nabantu.
Kalula nje, kuyini i-Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)?
Ukwelashwa Kokuxhumana Nabantu, noma i-IPT njengoba siyibiza kafushane, kuyindlela yokwelapha yokucindezeleka yesikhashana, eqinile. Uma sikhuluma iqiniso, iyiseshini yokwelapha ngokwengqondo eyenzeka kanye ngesonto cishe izinyanga ezintathu kuya kwezine.
Cabanga ngalokhu. Unenxeba emlenzeni wakho. Imbangela yalelo nxeba ingaba itshe endleleni. Kodwa uma uhamba, ugijima, noma ubeka unyawo lwakho phansi ngendlela engafanele, lelo nxeba libuhlungu nakakhulu, futhi lingase liqhume. Ngokufanayo, imbangela 'yethawula' elibizwa ngokuthi ukucindezeleka kungaba yinto ehlukile. Kodwa-ke, 'ukuhamba' kobudlelwano bethu nabantu kungenza lelo nxeba libe ngcono noma libe libi kakhulu. Ukwelashwa kwe-IPT kusebenza ngokulungisa lokho 'kuhamba', okungukuthi, indlela ophatha ngayo ubudlelwano bakho nabantu.
Into ebalulekile ukuthi i-IPT ayisho ukuthi ukucindezeleka kwakho kubangelwa ubudlelwano bakho. Kodwa-ke, ukucindezeleka kubangelwa futhi kuyathinta ubudlelwano bethu. Ngakho-ke lapho lezo zinkinga zobudlelwano zixazululwa, izimpawu zokucindezeleka zingathuthukiswa kakhulu. Ezinye izifundo zikhombisile ukuthi lokhu kwelashwa kusebenza kahle njengomuthi wokucindezeleka okuncane kuya kokuphakathi.
Izindawo ezine eziyinhloko okugxilwe kuzo ekwelashweni kwe-IPT
Kulolu hlobo lokwelapha, awukhulumi ngazo zonke izinkinga empilweni yakho. Kunalokho, ukhetha indawo eyodwa noma ezimbili ezinkulu zezinkinga zobudlelwano ocabanga ukuthi zithinta kakhulu ukucindezeleka kwakho bese ukhuluma ngazo ngokujulile. Kufana nokukhulula amafindo amabili noma amathathu amakhulu enkingeni enkulu. Uma usuwakhulule lawo mafindo, okunye kuzowela endaweni kalula.
Lezi zindawo eziyinkinga ngokuvamile zihlukaniswe ngezinhlobo ezine eziyinhloko.
| Indawo Yenkinga | Kusho ukuthini nje? |
|---|---|
| Izingxabano Zokuxhumana Kwabantu | Ukungezwani nomlingani wakho, abazali, izingane, osebenza nabo, noma abangane. Ukungezwani okunjengalokhu kungenzeka uma abantu ababili benokulindela okuhlukile. |
| Ukuguqulwa Kwendima | Izinguquko ezinkulu empilweni. Isibonelo, ukushada, ukuqala noma ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi, ukuthuthela edolobheni elisha, ukuba ngumzali. Lezi zinguquko zingaletha imizwa yokuba nesizungu nokulahlekelwa. |
| Usizi | Usizi olubangelwa ukufa komuntu oseduze kakhulu nawe. Lolu sizi lungaba yinkinga uma luhlala isikhathi eside kunokujwayelekile noma luvela kamuva. |
| Ukuntuleka Kokuxhumana Kwabantu | Ubunzima bokwenza abangane abasha noma ukugcina ubudlelwano obukhona kakade. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana nabantu noma izinga eliphansi lobudlelwano. |
Lokhu kwelashwa kusebenza kanjani ngempela?
Udokotela wezifo zengqondo uzosebenza nawe ukuze akusize uxazulule izinkinga ezihlobene nalezi zindawo.
Indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano phakathi kwabantu
Cabanga nje, lapho umfazi eqala umsebenzi omusha futhi eba ngozimele kancane, umyeni wakhe uqala ukuzizwa engavikelekile. Ngenxa yalokhu, kuba nokulwa okuvamile phakathi kwalaba bobabili. Lapha, umelaphi ukhuluma nomyeni futhi amsize aqonde isizathu salokhu kungqubuzana nokuthi yikuphi ukungaqondani anakho engqondweni yakhe. Ngemva kwalokho, umfundisa ukuqeqeshwa kokuxhumana kanye namasu okuxazulula izinkinga.
Indlela yokubhekana nezinguquko empilweni
Cabanga ukuthi uze eColombo usuka edolobhaneni lakini ukuze uthole umsebenzi. Impilo yakho yakudala, abangane, kanye nendawo yasekhaya konke sekuphelile, futhi kufanele uzivumelanise nendawo entsha wedwa. Lokhu kungazwakala njengokulahlekelwa okukhulu. Lapha, udokotela wezokwelapha uyakusiza uqonde umehluko phakathi kwendima yakho yakudala (umuntu osedolobhaneni) kanye nendima yakho entsha (umuntu owenza umsebenzi eyedwa eColombo) . Baphinde bakusize ukuthi ubone ukuthi yini ekunzima kuwe kule ndima entsha futhi bakusize uthole izixazululo zalokho.
Indlela yokuphatha usizi
Usizi oluzwayo lapho ushonelwa umuntu omthandayo alunakuvezwa ngamazwi. Ngezinye izikhathi lolo sizi luvalelwa ngaphakathi. Ku-IPT, umelaphi uyakusiza ukuthi ukhulule lolo sizi. Usebenzisa izindlela ezimbili eziyinhloko ukwenza lokho.
- Ukulalela okunozwela: Kudala indawo ephephile ukuze uveze imizwa yakho nezinto ezikukhathazayo. Ukulalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
- Ukucacisa: Kukusiza ukuthi uqonde futhi ususe noma yimiphi imibono eyiphutha noma imicabango engadingekile ongase ube nayo ngokufa noma umuntu.
Indlela yokunqoba ubuthakathaka ebudlelwaneni
Ingabe unemicabango efana nokuthi "Angikwazi ukwenza abangane" noma "Akekho ofuna ukukhuluma nami"? Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, umelaphi uzokhuluma ngobudlelwano bakho bangaphambilini, noma ubudlelwano obakhayo nomelaphi. Ngale ndlela, bazofuna amaphethini aphazamisa ubudlelwano bakho. Isibonelo, amaphethini anjengokuthembela kwabanye ngokungadingekile noma ukuthukuthela/ukuzonda abanye njalo azobonakala. Ngemuva kwalokho, bazokusiza ukuthi ushintshe lawo maphethini futhi bakukhuthaze ukuthi wakhe ubudlelwano obusha.
Imihlangano yokwelapha ihlelwa kanjani?
Le nqubo yokwelapha ihlelekile kakhulu. Ingahlukaniswa ngezigaba ezintathu eziyinhloko.
1. Isigaba Sokuqala (Amasonto 1-3): Lezi zikhathi zokuqala ezimbalwa zenzelwe ukuhlola izinga lakho lokucindezeleka, ukukunikeza ukuqonda okungcono kokwelashwa kwe-IPT, nokuhlonza inkinga eyodwa noma ezimbili ezikuthinta kakhulu ezindaweni ezine esixoxe ngazo ngaphambili.
2. Isigaba esiphakathi (cishe izikhathi ezingu-8 ezilandelayo): Lena yinhliziyo yokwelashwa. Yilapho izinkinga ezitholakele ziqala khona ukuxazululwa. Umelaphi usebenzisa amasu ahlukahlukene, njengokudlala indima, ukuhlaziya ukuxhumana, kanye nokukhuthaza ukuthinteka.
3. Isigaba sokugcina (cishe emavikini amane okugcina): Enye yezinto ezikhethekile nge-IPT ukuthi ukuphela kokwelashwa kubhekwa njengengxenye yokwelashwa ngokwako . Kusukela ekuqaleni, uyazi ukuthi lokhu kuyinto eyenziwa isikhathi esilinganiselwe. Ekugcineni, ukuphela kwalokhu kwelashwa kungase kuzwakale 'njengokulahlekelwa' kuwe. Sixoxa ngendlela yokubhekana nalowo muzwa nokuthi ungakusebenzisa kanjani lokho okufundile kuze kube manje. Lokhu ukukuqinisa ukuze ubhekane nanoma yiziphi izinkinga ezizovela esikhathini esizayo wedwa.
Kwenzekani ngemva kokuphela kokwelashwa?
Ukucindezeleka yisimo esingase sibuye ngezinye izikhathi. Ngakho-ke, ngemva kwamasonto ayi-12-16 okwelashwa, kungase kudingeke ukwelashwa kokulungisa.Ungabhekisela kulokhu. Lokhu kuhilela ukuhlangana nodokotela wezokwelapha cishe kanye ngenyanga ukuze kuqiniswe lokho okufundile. Lokhu kungaba usizo kakhulu ekuvimbeleni ukucindezeleka ukuthi kungaphinde kwenzeke ngenxa yokucindezeleka kokwakha ubudlelwano obusha bomphakathi.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukwelashwa Kokusebenzisana Nabantu (i-IPT) kuyindlela yesikhashana yokwelapha ingqondo efakazelwe ngokwesayensi esetshenziselwa ukucindezeleka.
- Lokhu akusoli ubudlelwano bakho ngokucindezeleka kwakho. Kunalokho, kusebenzisa lobo budlelwano njengendlela yokululama.
- Lokhu kwelashwa kugxila endaweni eyodwa noma ezimbili ezithile, njengezingxabano phakathi kwabantu, izinguquko empilweni, usizi, noma ubunzima ekwakheni ubudlelwano.
- Umgomo omkhulu ukukunika amandla okuphatha ubudlelwano bakho, futhi ngabo, izimpawu zakho zokucindezeleka wedwa.
- Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ukudabuka kwakho kuthinta ubudlelwano bakho, buza udokotela wakho noma uchwepheshe wezokwelapha ukuthi i-IPT iyindlela enhle yini kuwe. Impilo yengqondo yinto oyifanele.
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