Egbea, míele nu ƒom tso nane si le vevie ŋutɔŋutɔ na wò agbe ŋu. Enye aɖaŋu si akpe ɖe ŋuwò le afisiafi—le xɔ̃wòwo gbɔ, le aƒeme, le dɔwɔƒe, alo ne èle nu srɔ̃m —kpuie ko la, afisiafi si nàyi. Woyɔa aɖaŋu sia be Assertiveness . Ðewohĩ èse nya sia kpɔ. Kpuie ko la, nyateƒetoto nye ŋutete si le asiwò be nàgblɔ wò tamesusuwo, nuhiahiãwo, kple nukpɔsusuwo anukwaretɔe, eme nakɔ, eye bubutɔe , evɔ màwɔ nuvevi ame bubuwo alo agblẽ wò ŋutɔ ɖokuiwò ƒe asixɔxɔ o.
Nuka tututue Nyateƒetoto nyenye fia?
Bu nyateƒetoto be enye kadodo nyui ƒomevi aɖe . Enye ŋutete si le asiwò be nàtsi tre ɖe ɖokuiwò ŋu esime nèle bubu dem ame bubuwo ŋu. Míedoa go nɔnɔme manyaxlẽwo gbesiagbe siwo me esia le vevie le—eɖanye nusi nèlɔ̃ gbɔgblɔ, nya aɖe biabia nufiala aɖe, alo ɖokuiwò ɖeɖefia nyuie le dɔ alo yunivɛsiti gbebiame me o.
Gake menye ɣesiaɣie ame ƒe nyawo gbɔgblɔ nyea nɔnɔme si wodzina o. Ame aɖewo dina be yewoawɔ nusiwo mewɔa naneke o akpa ; wotsia woawo ŋutɔ ƒe seselelãmewo nu eye ɖeko wolɔ̃na ɖe ame bubu ɖesiaɖe ƒe nya dzi be woaƒo asa na masɔmasɔ. Ame bubuwo hã tsia dzi ɖe adãwɔwɔ akpa ŋu ; wotsɔa woawo ŋutɔ ƒe nuhiahiãwo ɖoa nɔƒe gbãtɔ wu nu bubu ɖesiaɖe, zi geɖe la, woƒoa nu wu ame bubuwo alo doa ɣli be woase yewo. Nyateƒetotoe nye dadasɔ deblibo ma le titina tututu.
Be nànɔ nyateƒe me la, efia be àte ŋu:
- Gblɔ wò nukpɔsusuwo kple seselelãmewo gaglãa.
- Bia nusi nèhiã la eme nakɔ.
- Mèlɔ̃ ɖe ame bubuwo ƒe nya dzi bubutɔe o .
- Gblɔ wò susuwo kple aɖaŋuɖoɖowo kple kakaɖedzi.
- Gblɔ be “ao” evɔ màse le ɖokuiwò me be yeɖi fɔ o.
- Tsi tre ɖe ame bubuwo nu ne ehiã.
Nukatae esia le vevie na mí alea gbegbe ɖo?
Dzeɖoɖo kple kakaɖedzi kpena ɖe ŋuwò be nusi nèhiã la sua asiwò, gake ede to wu ema. Ne ègblɔa nya kple ame bubuwo la, efia be èdea asixɔxɔ ɖokuiwò ŋu abe alesi nèdea asixɔxɔ amesiwo dome nèle ŋu ene.
Ame ɖekaɖeka siwo ƒoa wo ɖokui ɖe nya me la ɖenɛ fiana be yewoka ɖe yewo ɖokui dzi eye yewoka ɖe yewo ɖokui dzi. Womevɔ̃na o, eye wometsɔa bulldozer ƒoa ame bubuwo hã o. Wokpɔnɛ dzea sii be viɖe le yewoƒe seselelãmewo kple susuwo ŋu. Kakaɖedzi sẽŋu aɖe le wo si .
Zi geɖe la, enɔa bɔbɔe na ame siwo ƒoa wo ɖokui ɖe nya me be yewoatu xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ ɖo elabena woɖoa dze le mɔ si dea bubu woawo ŋutɔ ƒe nuhiahiãwo kple ame bubuwo ƒe nuhiahiãwo siaa ŋu nu. Wobi ɖe masɔmasɔwo kple masɔmasɔwo gbɔ kpɔkpɔ hã me. Ne èwɔ nu ɖe ame bubuwo ŋu bubutɔe la, èkpɔa woƒe bubu ɖe eteƒe.
Nuwɔna si mewɔa naneke o, adãwɔwɔ, alo ɖeko wòsɔa?
Aleke nàwɔ anya afisi nèdze le le nyateƒetoto ƒe dzidzenu dzi? Kpɔɖeŋu aɖewoe nye esi:
Nimali (Too Passive): Ne èbia Nimali be sinima kae wòdi be yeakpɔ hã la, anɔ eme be agblɔ be, “Nyemenya o... nukae nàdi?” Zi geɖe la, enaa ame bubuwo wɔa nyametsotsowo, gake emegbe wòdoa dziku be woŋe aɖaba ƒu eya ŋutɔ ƒe didiwo dzi. Eʋlina vevie be woase yeƒe nyawo le ƒuƒoƒo me, eye ne edze agbagba be yeadzɔ nu la, eƒoa nu blewu ale gbegbe be zi geɖe la, woƒoa nu tso eŋu.
Surekha (Dzikutɔ akpa): Surekha mekpɔa kuxi aɖeke le eƒe susuwo gbɔgblɔ me o, gake ewɔa esia sesĩe, eye wòɖua ame dzi. Zi geɖe la, exɔa dzeɖoɖoa le amewo si, etsoa nya me na ame bubuwo, eye meɖoa to boo o. Ne melɔ̃ ɖe wò nya dzi o la, enaa amewo nyaa—zi geɖe to fewuɖunyawo gbɔgblɔ alo nuveviwɔame me. Exɔ ŋkɔ be enye amegã eye mebua ame ŋu o.
Chamal (Assertive): Ne èbia Chamal be wòagblɔ eƒe susu la, egblɔnɛ anukwaretɔe. Ne melɔ̃ ɖe wò nya dzi o la, egblɔnɛ eme kɔ—gake medoa vlo wò alo nana nèsena le ɖokuiwò me be yeda ƒu o. Chamal tsɔ ɖe le wò nukpɔsusu me ŋutɔŋutɔ eye wòɖoa to veviedodotɔe. Ne melɔ̃ ɖe edzi o gɔ̃ hã la, èsena le ɖokuiwò me kokoko be edea bubu wò nukpɔsusu ŋu.
Nusiwo dona tso ame si mewɔa naneke o akpa me...
Zi geɖe la, amesiwo mewɔa naneke o akpa la sena le wo ɖokui me be ame bubuwo le yewo zãm. Esia ate ŋu ana ame nase veve, dziku, alo dziɖeleameƒo.
Ne èɣla wò tamesusuwo kple seselelãmewo la, ame bubuwo mate ŋu anya wò ŋutɔŋutɔ alo ase egɔme o. Gakpe ɖe eŋu la, asixɔxɔ si le miaƒe susu kple aɖaŋuɖoɖo tɔxɛwo ŋu la toa miaƒe ƒuƒoƒoa me.
Ne èdze egɔme nɔ sesem le ɖokuiwò me be yeƒe tamesusuwo alo yeƒe seselelãmewo mele vevie o la, kakaɖedzi si le ye ɖokui ŋu ( Kakaɖedzi ) ate ŋu aɖiɖi. Tsɔ kpe ɖe eŋu la, bubu si nèdze na ɖe wò nudzɔdzɔwo ta la to ŋuwò. Le ɣeyiɣi aɖe megbe la, esia ate ŋu ahe nɔnɔmewo abe blanuiléle ene gɔ̃ hã vɛ .
Ðo ŋku edzi be: Asixɔxɔ le wò gbe ŋu. Mègazi ɖoɖoe o!
Nukae dzɔna ne èwɔa adã akpa?
Zi geɖe la, esesẽna na amesiwo wɔa nu adãtɔe akpa be woalé xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ nyuiwo me ɖe asi. Esi woɖua dzeɖoɖowo dzi hezia woƒe nukpɔsusuwo ɖe ame bubuwo dzi ta la, wogblẽa amewo ɖi wosena le wo ɖokui me be wometsɔ ɖeke le eme o eye womedea bubu yewo ŋu o.
Togbɔ be atsyã si me wowɔa adã le ate ŋu ana nusi ame aɖe di le ɣeyiɣi kpui aɖe me hã la, zi geɖe la, ena ame bubuwo gbea nu alo doa dziku nɛ. Mlɔeba la, womegadea bubu wo hatiwo ŋu o.
Nukatae ame sia ame megblɔa nya kple ame bubuwo o?
Nukatae ame aɖewo toa nuwɔna siwo mewɔa naneke o alo adãwɔwɔ dzi? Nu vevi aɖe si gbɔ wòtsoe nye amenyenye . Míaƒe numamewo kple agbemenuteƒekpɔkpɔwo hã wɔa akpa aɖe. Zi geɖe la, míesrɔ̃a alesi míawɔ nu siwo mewɔa naneke o, ame siwo wɔa adã, alo ame siwo ƒoa nu faa to ŋkuléle ɖe ame siwo dome míele ŋu, vevietɔ amesiwo nyi mí, me.
Susu aɖewo siwo ta ame aɖe ate ŋu awɔ naneke o akpa lae nye esi :
- Womexɔ wo ɖokui dzi se o alo womedea asixɔxɔ woawo ŋutɔ ƒe nukpɔsusuwo ŋu o.
- Hiahiã si gbɔ eme be woadze ame bubuwo ŋu alo be ame sia ame nalɔ̃ ame.
- Dzimaɖitsitsi ɖe alesi ame bubuwo awɔ nui ɖe woƒe nukpɔsusuwo ŋu, alo vɔvɔ̃ be woagbe ye.
- Ðeklemiɖeɖe ƒe seselelãme gã , alo ŋutinya si nye be woɖe asi le woƒe seselelãmewo ŋu alo kpe fu be wogbe wo .
- Aɖaŋu siwo wotu ɖo le alesi woanya alesi woagblɔe kple kakaɖedzi me ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ .
Nusiwo nana ame aɖe wɔa adã akpa dometɔ aɖewoe nye:
- Kakaɖeamedzi fũ alo dada.
- Woƒe nuhiahiãwo ŋu bubu fũ akpa kple didi be yewoazi yewoƒe lɔlɔ̃nu ɖe ame bubuwo dzi.
- Alesi woade bubu ame bubuwo ƒe nuhiahiãwo kple woƒe nukpɔsusuwo ŋu alo abu wo ŋu sɔsrɔ̃ ƒe kpododonu .
- Toɖoɖo veviedodotɔe kple ame bubuwo ƒe susu biabia me hehexɔxɔ ƒe anyimanɔmanɔ .
Nusiwo kpena ɖe ame ŋu wòʋuna yia eƒe nyagbɔgblɔ vavãtɔ gbɔe nye esi :
- Kakaɖedzi sẽŋu si anɔ ame si .
- Xɔse be wò susuwo kple seselelãmewo sɔ eye be gome le asiwò be nàgblɔ wo.
- Tenɔnɔ ɖe nɔnɔme sesẽwo nu —ŋutete si le ame si be wòakpɔ ɖeklemiɖeɖe, gbegbe, kple kpododonuwo gbɔ le amenuveve me.
- Bubudede ame bubuwo ƒe didiwo kple nuhiahiãwo ŋu.
- Kpɔɖeŋu nyuiwo ƒe amesinɔnɔ na nyateƒetoto.
- Be nànya be wodea asixɔxɔ wò tamesusuwo kple dzeɖoɖo si me kakaɖedzi le ŋu va yi.
Aleke nàwɔ azu ame si ƒoa eɖokui ɖe nya me wu?
Be woazu ame si ƒoa eɖokui ɖe nu me bia be woasrɔ̃ kadodomɔnu eye woatu susu nyui ɖo. Togbɔ be ame aɖewo nyea nya siwo wogblɔna le dzɔdzɔme nu hã la, bubuwo ate ŋu abia be woasrɔ̃e geɖe wu . Ke hã, amesiame ate ŋu ana aɖaŋu sia nanyo ɖe edzi.
Ale si nàwɔe nye esi:
Gbã la, de ŋugble le ale si nèɖoa dzee fifia ŋu—ɖe nèwɔa naneke o, èwɔa adã wu, alo ègblɔa nya geɖe wua? Tso nya me nenye be ehiã be nàɖe nusiwo mewɔa naneke o dzi akpɔtɔ, aɖe wò adãwɔwɔ dzi akpɔtɔ, alo nàgadzi wò dzɔdzɔmenɔnɔme siwo me nègblɔa nya ɖe ame ŋu le la ɖe edzi.
Be woaɖe nusiwo mewɔa naneke o dzi akpɔtɔ eye woadzi nya siwo wogblɔna be yewoagblɔe ɖe edzi la:
- Wò susu nanɔ wò tamesusuwo, seselelãmewo, kple nusiwo nèlɔ̃na ŋu. Ele be wò ŋutɔ nànya nusiawo hafi nàte ŋu aɖe wo afia ame bubuwo.
- De dzesii ne èɖoa nyabiasewo ŋu zi geɖe kple "Nyemenya o," "Meɖe fu nam o," alo "Nusianu nyo." Dzudzɔ esia wɔwɔ. Te nu siwo nèlɔ̃ la gbɔgblɔ, le nya suewo gɔ̃ hã me. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, ne wobiae be, "Ðe nèlɔ̃a amadede dzẽa loo alo dzĩtɔa?" àte ŋu agblɔ be, "Amegbetɔ lae dzɔa dzi nam wu—akpe na wò."
- Srɔ̃ nubiabia. Le kpɔɖeŋu me: "Taflatse àte ŋu atsɔ gaku aɖe ato ŋunyea?" "Mehiã nuŋlɔti; ɖe spare le ame aɖe sia?" "Taflatse ɖe mate ŋu akpɔ zikpui aɖea?" Esia tua kakaɖedzi si nèhiã be nàbia nu vevi bubuwo emegbe ɖo.
- Gblɔ wò nukpɔsusu . Gblɔ wò susu le sinima alo nyati aɖe ŋu, eye nàɖe nusita nèsena le ɖokuiwò me nenema la me.
- Srɔ̃ "Nye-nyagbɔgblɔwo" abe "Medi...", "Madi...", alo "Mese le ɖokuinye me..." zazã.
- Di kpɔɖeŋuɖola si ƒoa eɖokui ɖe nya me—amesi menye ame si ƒoa nu tso ame ŋu alo doa adã akpa o. Kpɔe ɖa be àte ŋu aɖe woƒe nɔnɔme nyuitɔwo afia hã.
- Ðo ŋku edzi na ɖokuiwò be wò tamesusuwo kple nukpɔsusuwo le vevie abe ame bubuwo tɔ ene. Wò ŋutɔ wò asixɔxɔ nyanyae nye gɔmeɖoanyi si dzi nànɔ te ɖo aɖo kpe edzi, si naa bubudede ame ɖokui ŋu kple bubudede ame bubuwo ŋu da sɔ.
Be woaɖe adãwɔwɔ dzi akpɔtɔ eye woadzi nyaʋiʋli ɖe edzi:
- Na teƒe ame bubuwo naƒo nu.
- Kpɔe ɖa be ètsoa nya me na ame bubuwo hã. Ne èlé ɖokuiwò nèle ewɔm la, gblɔ ko be, "Oo, meɖe kuku—taflatse yi ŋgɔ," eye nàna ame kemɛa nawu enu.
- Bia ame bubuwo ƒe susu eye nàɖo to woƒe ŋuɖoɖowo tso dzi me.
- Ne mielɔ̃ ɖe edzi o la, dze agbagba nàgblɔe evɔ màdo ame kemɛa ɖe anyi o. Le esi teƒe be nàgblɔ be, "Bometsinyae nye ema" la, dze agbagba be, "Nyemelɔ̃ ɖe mɔnu ma dzi ŋutɔŋutɔ o." Le esi teƒe be nàdze ame aɖe ƒe nɔnɔme dzi la, lé fɔ ɖe nuwɔna la ŋu: "Mesena le ɖokuinye me be womele ame bubuwo ƒe nukpɔsusuwo ŋu bum o."
- Di kpɔɖeŋuɖola si ada asɔ le nya siwo wogblɔna le wo ɖokui si me nyuie eye nàdze agbagba aɖe woƒe bubudede ame ŋu ƒe kpɔɖeŋu afia.
Amesiwo ƒe nya wogblɔna le dzɔdzɔme nu gɔ̃ hã ate ŋu ayi edzi anɔ ŋgɔ yim:
- Yi edzi nànɔ kpɔɖeŋuɖola dim . Nusɔsrɔ̃ nye nusi yia edzi le wò agbe me katã, eɖanye afikae nèdze egɔme tsoe o!
- De dzesi ɣeyiɣi si me nègblɔa nya geɖe wu . Amewo ƒe nuwɔna to vovo le nɔnɔme vovovowo me. Enɔa bɔbɔe na ame akpa gãtɔ be yewoagblɔ nya siwo wogblɔna kple yewo xɔlɔ̃wo gake wowɔa avu kple amegãwo alo ame nyanyɛ yeyewo. Ne èdo go nɔnɔme sesẽ aɖe la, bia ɖokuiwò be, “Aleke makpɔ esia gbɔ ne xɔ̃nye vevitɔe mele nu ƒom na?”
Dzeɖoɖo kple dzitsitsi ɖenɛ fiana be èka ɖe ɖokuiwò dzi. Nyateƒetoto tutuɖo nye afɔɖeɖe vevi aɖe si ana nàzu wò ame nyuitɔ kekeake!
Wò gbedasi si nàtsɔ ayi aƒemee
Mele mɔ kpɔm be azɔ la, èse nya siwo wogblɔna kple ame bubuwo gɔme nyuie wu. Ðo ŋku edzi be esia medzɔna le zã ɖeka me o. Gake ne èwɔe ɣesiaɣi la, àkpɔ tɔtrɔ nyui aɖe godoo.
- Wò seselelãmewo, tamesusuwo, kple nuhiahiãwo sɔ. Mègaɣla wo o.
- Mèganye ame si mewɔa naneke o eye mègawɔ adã o. Atsyã eveawo siaa ƒe kuxiwo le wo ŋu.
- Nyateƒetoto fia be nàƒo nu anukwaretɔe esime nèle bubu dem ɖokuiwò kple ame bubuwo ŋu.
- Dze egɔme tso nu sue aɖe dzi. Srɔ̃e to nya bɔbɔewo gbɔgblɔ abe, "Le nyateƒe me la, esia nyo ŋunye wu ema."
- Ðo to ame bubuwo nyuie . Nyateƒetoto nye dzeɖoɖo si yia edzi le mɔ eve nu, ke menye wò ŋutɔ wò gbe ɖeɖeko ŋu o.
- Mègabu fɔ ɖokuiwò ne èwɔ vodada alo ehiã be nàgblɔ be "ao" o.
Dze agbagba nàde numame sue siawo wò gbesiagbegbenɔnɔ me. Eteƒe madidi o àde dzesii be miaƒe ƒomedodowo le nyonyom ɖe edzi eye ŋutifafa geɖe wu le mia me. Dzidzɔtɔe tso Nirogi Lanka gbɔ!
Dzeɖoɖo, Susu ƒe Lãmesẽ , Nyateƒetoto, Kakaɖedzi, Amewo dome ƒomedodo, Seselelãme Dzikpɔkpɔ , Lãmesẽ Agbenɔnɔ
