I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2003 when I started having suicidal thoughts, seeing things that weren't real, and was in severe depression. It was there that the doctors diagnosed me with bipolar disorder . It wasn't surprising considering the range of symptoms I had at the time. But it was a big surprise to me. Because before I walked through the door of the hospital's Emergency Treatment Unit (ETU), if anyone had asked me, I would have said, "I'm fine." I had no idea what a mental illness was.
What was my life like before the diagnosis?
I grew up in a typical middle-class family. My father was a truck driver and my mother was a housewife. We weren't very rich, but we had a stable life. We had our own house in the suburbs, two cars, and health insurance. Simply put, we were a very average family. The idea in our house was that a man should just deal with whatever problems came his way, and that if he just rubbed a little mud on himself, everything would be okay.
I may be exaggerating a bit, but my family really did have expectations of me. I was taught to always be trustworthy, calm, and respectful . Imagine how difficult it is for someone with depression or mania to maintain these traits.
When I couldn't live up to my parents' expectations, they punished me. As my mental state worsened, the punishments I received became more severe. The more severe the punishments, the more isolated I became. In fact, since there was no treatment for this mental illness in my mind, my condition worsened day by day.
At that time, I had suicidal thoughts every day . I never thought it was unusual, because no one talked about it. I thought everyone thought the same way. The day I finally decided to take my own life, it felt normal to me. But luckily, someone who noticed the change in my behavior asked me directly, "Are you thinking about taking your own life?"
I had no reason to lie, so I said "yes." At that moment, he said we need to go to the hospital right away. I was surprised. I looked at him and said:
"Why? I'm not sick. Sick people go to the hospital."
When I found out I had bipolar...
I remember the first question I asked the psychiatrist at the hospital when I was told I had bipolar disorder . "How do you know, doctor?" I asked. He said I had all the classic symptoms of the disease, and that it was surprising that no one had noticed it for so long.
But it didn't surprise me. Because, who in my life knew about mental health issues like this? None of us had studied mental illness. We thought that mental illness was something that happened to people who were loud, violent, slurred speech, and were not intelligent. I was not violent, I was well-educated. I had a job. According to our limited understanding, mentally ill people can't work. So, how do I have a mental illness?
In fact, after my diagnosis, I learned a lot about mental illness, bipolar disorder, and myself. I had to learn to think in new ways, to rebuild myself. I had to get used to the side effects of the medication. I had to face a lot of issues that were hidden in my mind without me even knowing it. Most importantly, I learned to take responsibility for my behaviors. Even if they weren't entirely my fault, they weren't anyone else's fault either.
Misconceptions about mental illness in our society
Many of us have misconceptions about mental illness, which is why many people like me delay seeking help. Let's take a look at these misconceptions and what the truth is.
| Myth | Reality |
|---|---|
| Mental illness is a weakness of the mind. It's okay to be strong. | These are medical conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, and other conditions that are caused by imbalances in brain chemicals (neurotransmitters). Proper medical treatment is needed rather than mental strength. |
| All people with mental illness are violent and dangerous. | This is completely wrong. The majority of people with mental illnesses are not violent. They are often more at risk of harming themselves than others. |
| Children and young people do not develop mental illnesses. | Mental illness can occur at any age. The first signs of many mental illnesses can appear in young adulthood . |
| It's embarrassing to ask for help. What will people think? | Just as you see a doctor when you have a fever, it is a sign of strength and intelligence to seek help for a mental problem. Your health is the most important thing. |
The Journey to Recovery: Challenges and Learning
This journey has been incredibly difficult. It has been a journey that has left me deeply traumatized. And it has taken an incredible amount of time. The distance between diagnosis and recovery is measured not in weeks or months, but in years.
But today, as a result of the hard work I put into understanding my bipolar condition and myself, I am a master of my recovery journey. That means I now have more time to enjoy my life than to dwell on my illness. This journey has taught me that no matter how hard we fall, with the right help and determination, we can get back up.
If you are suffering from a mental health problem or something that is bothering you, please don't suffer alone. Talk to your doctor . That is the best help you can give yourself.
Take-Home Message
- Mental illness is not a weakness of the mind or a flaw in character. It is a medical condition that can affect anyone.
- It's normal to feel overwhelmed and ask for help . It's not a shame, it's a sign of strength.
- If you suspect that you or someone you know has a mental health problem, please see a qualified medical professional. An accurate diagnosis is the first step to recovery.
- Recovery is a journey. It takes time. Not everything will happen overnight. Be patient with yourself.
- You are not alone. There are many others facing similar challenges. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
💬 අදහස් (0)
තවමත් කිසිදු අදහසක් පළ කර නොමැත. ඔබේ අදහස පළමු වරට මෙහි එක් කරන්න.
ඔබේ අදහස එක් කරන්න