We know that fighting breast cancer is not easy. It is very common for your sex life to change or become uncomfortable during or after treatment . Although this is a difficult topic to talk about, it is important for you to talk about it and understand it. If you are ready, you and your partner can face this challenge together. Think of this article as the first step on that journey.
Why am I having these sexual side effects?
Simply put, the main reason for this is the treatment you are receiving. Especially in some types of breast cancer (for example, hormone receptor-positive cancers), the treatments we give control the hormone estrogen in the body. This hormone is what greatly affects a woman's sexual function.
So, if you are not already in menopause, this treatment may cause you to go through it sooner. If you are already in menopause, it may worsen your symptoms. This may cause you to experience things like:
- Vaginal dryness.
- Decreased sexual desire (libido).
- Decreased pleasure during sexual intercourse.
- Pain during sexual intercourse.
These things aren't just happening to you. This is a common situation for many people. The most important thing is to talk openly about this with your partner .
Maybe you've never talked about your sex life before, so you may not know where to start. Don't worry. Just say something like, "I know things aren't the same now. Can we find some time to talk about this?" Then, together, talk about the challenges you're facing and how you're coping with them.
What causes vaginal dryness?
This is another common problem caused by a decrease in the hormone estrogen. When estrogen decreases, the natural lubrication that occurs in the vagina during sexual stimulation decreases. Not only that, but the tissues of the vagina become thinner, more sensitive, and less elastic.
There are things you can do to reduce this discomfort.
1. Non-hormonal vaginal moisturizer : You can use these daily. Just like we apply moisturizer to our face, they help to retain moisture in the vaginal area.
2. Lubricant: There are special lubricants that can be used only during sex. While you can buy both of these at pharmacies, it's best to talk to your doctor about the type that's best for you.
If these things don't solve your problem, don't worry. Your doctor may recommend a local estrogen cream or a medication like DHEA, which is applied only to the vagina. These are medications that can be safely used after breast cancer. So, talk to your oncologist or gynecologist about this.
What can be done about pain during sex?
If the pain doesn't go away even after using lubricants, be sure to tell your healthcare team. Sometimes, after surgery or due to treatment, the muscles in the pelvic area can become tight. In such cases, a treatment called pelvic floor physical therapy can be very effective. This involves relaxing, strengthening, and helping the muscles in that area to return to normal.
Here are some other tips you can try to manage this pain.
| Advice | Description |
|---|---|
| slow down | Don't rush into sex. Always do it in a way that is comfortable for you. If you feel pain, tell your partner. |
| Try new poses. | Some positions require less penetration into the vagina. Try positions that are less painful and easier for you. |
| Relax the muscles. | Pain can cause the muscles in your vagina to tighten without you realizing it. A physical therapist can teach you relaxation techniques and Kegel exercises to help you relax these muscles. |
| Pain elsewhere | If the pain is in an area like your back or hips, use pillows to provide relief to that area. Stop thinking about the pain and focus on enjoying it. |
If your libido has decreased, how can you restore it?
It's no wonder that when you're tired and sore, you may not feel like having sex. The best solution to this is to set aside time for sex or intimacy. This isn't meant to be a chore. However, making it a regular part of your life can help reduce the stress associated with it.
The most important thing is to learn new things about your body . The way you feel happy now, the way you like things, may be different than it was before cancer.
Experiment with how you like to be touched now, and what brings you pleasure. Talk about those new things with your partner. Then, the times you two are together will be a happy, fulfilling experience for both of you.
How do I learn to love this new body?
This is perhaps the hardest part of the journey. After cancer, it's common to feel like "my own body betrayed me." Every time I look in the mirror, I see the scars and changes that have occurred after surgery (a lumpectomy or a mastectomy).
But you can be friends with your body again. Start doing the things that made you feel good about yourself before cancer.
- Wear clothes that look good on you and are comfortable.
- Apply some makeup as you like.
- Do your hair and nails nicely.
- Start exercising regularly as directed by your doctor .
These things may seem like small things, but they can make you feel great about yourself and happy. Remember, you are not alone. Your medical team is there to help you. Also, if you can join a support group with others who are going through the same experience as you, that will also be a great source of strength.
Take-Home Message
- It is very common and normal to experience sexual problems after breast cancer treatment. Don't be ashamed of it or feel alone.
- Talk openly with your partner about this. Understanding and support from both of you is very important at this time.
- Tell your doctor about any sexual discomfort. They can help you.
- There are simple solutions to vaginal dryness, such as non-hormonal moisturizers and lubricants. Ask your doctor about them.
- If pain persists, consider treatments such as pelvic floor physical therapy .
- Your body is changing. Love it, give yourself time to learn new things about it. Be patient.
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