If someone very close to you, whether it's your partner, parent, child, or best friend, is suffering from bipolar disorder , I understand how difficult and distressing it can be for you. It affects not only the person with the condition, but everyone around them. It can be difficult to balance support and self-care at a time like this. Because you know it's not their fault, it's the nature of the illness. But because their behavior directly affects you, you need to take care of yourself.
First, let's understand this situation exactly.
Bipolar Disorder is characterized by two main emotional extremes. One is a period of hyperactivity and happiness, which we medically call mania or hypomania. The other is a period of extreme sadness and anxiety, which is called depression.
Often when they are in a hypomania state, they don't realize that this is a problem. They may even enjoy it because it feels like a time when they can do a lot of work and are very energetic. Some people think that if they take medication, this good mood will go away and they will fall into depression. So with all of this, how do we help them?
1. Arm yourself with knowledge
Learn as much as you can about this condition. Read reliable websites and books. The more you know about it, the easier it will be for you to understand and help him.
2. Listen carefully.
Listen carefully to what your loved one is saying. Don't assume you know what they're going through. And don't dismiss everything they say, every feeling they have, as if it's caused by their illness. Even someone with bipolar disorder can have valid, reasonable reasons for what they're saying.
3. Be aware of symptoms
When symptoms appear, they may not see them as clearly as you do. Or they may deny it. If you see warning signs of mania or depression, you can try to get them medical help as soon as possible.
4. Get things done together
People with depression often try to withdraw from society. So encourage your friend or loved one to go out and do things they enjoy. Ask them to go for a walk together, go out to dinner. If they say no, don't force it. Ask them again in a few days.
Make an emergency plan
Bipolar Disorder is a condition where symptoms can flare up unexpectedly, so it's important to have a plan to deal with the worst-case scenario.
Imagine, on a day when you and he are both in a good mood, you can clearly discuss things like, "Let's talk, what should I do if you're having trouble, who should we call, where is the doctor's number?"
Having a plan like this will give both of you a lot of confidence about the future. You can also act without panicking in an emergency. If the symptoms worsen and they are at risk of harming themselves or others, they should be taken to the Emergency Treatment Unit (ETU) immediately.
| What We Can Do | Description |
|---|---|
| Helping with a daily routine | Encourage consistent times for sleeping, eating, and other daily activities. Some research has shown that a consistent routine can be very helpful in this situation. |
| Expressing your feelings | Talk about how his behavior affects you. But not in an accusatory way. Talk about your feelings, like, "This is how I feel when you do this." |
| Encouraging treatment | Continue to encourage them to take their medication as prescribed, see their doctor, and seek counseling. |
How do you motivate someone to seek treatment?
Many people with bipolar disorder are reluctant to seek treatment . There can be several reasons for this. Some see it as a weakness, while others refuse out of fear.
If you have to talk to someone like that, you can include these points:
- "It's not your fault." Genetic factors and stressful life events can contribute to this.
- "This is a real illness." Just like diabetes mellitus or heart disease, this too requires medical treatment .
- "There is a scientific explanation for this." It is due to changes in brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) and nerve cell pathways.
- "There are good treatments." Medication can help stabilize your emotions. Through therapy, you can talk about the thoughts and feelings that are affecting your life and learn to manage them.
- "The risk is high if you don't get treatment." If you don't get treatment, your symptoms can get worse, and as your depression worsens, you can have suicidal thoughts , lose connections with family and friends, and even lose your job.
Trust is very important here. If your interest is sincere, you can be of great help to your loved one.
How can I help people take their medication properly?
Just as someone with diabetes needs insulin for the rest of their life, someone with bipolar disorder often needs medication for the rest of their life. But many people stop taking their medication. Let's look at why this is and how we can help.
| Reason for stopping medication | How we can help |
|---|---|
| "The medicine doesn't seem to be working" | Tell them to be patient. Some medications can take up to 8 weeks to work properly. Explain that it may take months to find the right medication and dosage, but that the process is worth it because in the end they will feel much better. |
| "I forget" | Encourage them to take their medication at the same time every day (after breakfast/before bed). Use a pill box, help them set up a reminder app on their phone, and remind them to take their medication by calling or texting them if you can. |
| "I can't stand the side effects" | Encourage your doctor to tell you about this immediately . These can be controlled by changing the dosage, changing the time of day you take the medicine, or switching to a different medicine. |
| "I don't take medicine." | If he is thinking about stopping the medication, insist that he talk to his doctor about it. Remind him that if he stops suddenly, his symptoms may get worse. If his condition is not stable, talk to his doctor. He may need to be hospitalized. Although it is a difficult decision, it may be necessary to save his life. |
How important is it to take care of yourself with all this?
No matter how intense your loved one's needs are, you are important too. It is essential that you stay mentally and physically healthy. Do the things you enjoy, spend time with your friends. It would be a great help if you could also meet with a counselor on your own, or join a support group with others who have had similar experiences.
Take-Home Message
- Understand: Bipolar Disorder is not something that happens to anyone through their own fault. It is a medical condition that requires treatment, just like diabetes or heart disease. Learning about it can help you better support yourself.
- Make a plan: Work with your loved one to develop an emergency plan for when symptoms worsen. Decide in advance who to call and where to go.
- Encourage treatment: Gently but firmly remind them of the importance of taking their medication and following their doctor's instructions. Help them with practical things (e.g., medication reminders).
- Think about yourself too: It's essential to take care of your own mental and physical health while helping others. If you need help yourself, don't hesitate to get it.
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