One of the biggest challenges for new parents is getting their baby to sleep. When they wake up in the middle of the night and start crying, it's exhausting for you and your baby, right? It's normal for babies to wake up once or three times a night until they're about 12 months old. Some babies are great at falling asleep on their own again. But others need a little help. During the first 3 months of life, their sleep patterns are still developing. So it's normal for them to wake up and cry at night.
You can gently rock your baby to sleep by singing a lullaby, hugging him, or gently patting him. However, as your baby gets older, he will develop the ability to self-soothe. As a parent, you can help your baby develop this ability. Let's see how.
Things you can do to help your baby sleep alone
You can help your baby get used to this new thing by making a few small changes on your part. These are very simple things.
- Sleep in your own room, but in a separate crib: It's best to put your baby to sleep in his own crib or bassinet, right next to your bed. Doctors recommend that you don't let your baby sleep in the same bed with you. This is because your baby can become trapped between the headboard and mattress, or under you, and have difficulty breathing . This is very dangerous.
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine: When you do the same things every night before bed, your baby will know it's time for bed. For example, you can do things like bathe your baby, put on clean clothes, cuddle him, sing a soft lullaby, or put on some soothing music. Some babies can be over-stimulated and won't sleep. So a calming routine like this is important.
- Put your baby to sleep before they are fully asleep: This is the most important thing. When your baby is very sleepy and closes their eyes, but before they are completely asleep, put them to sleep. This will help them get used to the feeling of falling asleep on their own. Always remember to put your baby to sleep on their back.
- Give your baby some time: It's normal for your baby to squirm and cry a little when you put him in the crib. He's just trying to find a way to make himself comfortable. If he keeps crying, just go and check on him, comfort him with love, and then leave the room.
- Consider a pacifier: Using a pacifier can help your baby sleep through the night. Some studies have also found that it may help prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) .
- Know your baby's sleep pattern: Just like us, babies have different sleep patterns. Some like to stay up late at night, while others wake up early in the morning. Try to understand what your baby's pattern is and adjust your routine accordingly.
The challenges that come along this journey and how to overcome them
Most of the time, the main reason why babies can't sleep alone is us. That's actually the truth.
The biggest challenge is that we go and put the baby back to sleep ourselves, without giving him a chance to calm down and go to sleep on his own. Then the baby thinks, "I need mom/ dad to go back to sleep."
There could be several reasons for this. These are very common things. Every mother and father feels these things.
- Thinking that the baby might be feeling lonely and scared.
- Constant anxiety about the baby.
- Feeling sad about being separated from the baby.
- The baby's reluctance to cry, so you go and stop it before it starts crying.
- The feeling of guilt that "I'm not helping the baby."
- Maybe the way you comfort your baby is stimulating him too much.
- A hungry baby goes to sleep right after feeding.
These are all things that loving parents do. There's nothing wrong with that. However, there are a few things you can do to help both of you get a good night's sleep and help your baby learn to sleep on her own.
1. Understand your feelings: Try to understand why you are always running around to put your baby to sleep. Once you know the reason, you will feel better and can start to solve the problem. If you have a lot of anxiety about this, please talk to your doctor or someone you trust.
2. Gradually reduce nighttime feedings: When your baby is young, he or she needs a nighttime feed. But as he or she grows older, that need decreases. So, very lovingly, gradually start weaning your baby off nighttime feedings. It may take some time for your baby to get used to this, but in the long run, it will be a great thing for both of you.
3. Use calming techniques: When we are tired in the middle of the night, we can unknowingly do things that upset our baby even more. So using the right technique can make a big difference.
| Overstimulating Techniques | Soothing Techniques |
|---|---|
| Picking up as soon as you wake up. | Waiting a little before picking it up. |
| Waving your hand loudly. | Very slow, smooth tapping. |
| Rocking the baby on top. | Moving to the same rhythm. |
| Excessive touching and talking. | Stay calm and quiet. |
| Exposure to blue light from phones, tablets, etc. | Touching with love and tenderness. |
Using calming techniques will encourage your baby to fall asleep on their own, and will help establish a good sleep pattern for the future. If you find these things difficult, remember that change takes time. Your baby loves you and wants to be with you. Learning to be alone is a new experience for him. So, don't give up.
Most importantly: If, after doing all of this, your baby is still having trouble sleeping on their own, is crying excessively, is unsettled, or if you think there is anything else unusual, please see your doctor. There may be a medical reason for this. He or she will be able to give you the advice and support you need.
Take-Home Message
- Teaching your baby to self-soothe is good for their development and independence.
- Establish a calm bedtime routine at the same time every day.
- Place your baby in the crib in a drowsy position before he or she is completely asleep. This is very important.
- Don't rush around when your baby cries. Give him some time to calm down on his own.
- If you feel stressed or anxious about this process, talk to a doctor or someone you trust about it.
- If your baby's behavior or crying is unusual or severe, seek medical advice immediately.


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