Do you feel this way too? Everything you do, from the smallest to the biggest, has to be done 100% perfectly. Do you feel a heavy burden and guilt if you make a small mistake? If so, you may be suffering from a mental condition called ' Perfectionism '. Simply put, this is the strong belief that everything you do has to be perfect, without any mistakes. Thinking this way is not very good for your mental and physical health.
How do you know if you have perfectionism?
Most of us can be 'Perfectionists' in one way or another in our lives. Maybe you are like that in cooking, or maybe you are in your work. But if you are looking for this 'perfection' in everything you do, then you are more likely to have this condition. Let's see what the main characteristics are.
- Procrastination: Putting off starting a task for fear of not being able to complete it without making any mistakes.
- Taking unnecessary time: You take much longer to do the same thing than others because you don't have time to do it 'perf ECT '.
- Thinking only about the end result: Rather than enjoying the process, you work with only the end result in mind.
- Dissatisfaction: You feel like you're not finished with the work until you think, "This is really good now."
The important thing is that 'Perfectionism' is not a disease. But if it is not controlled , it can have a big impact on your mental health.
Are there main types of perfectionism?
Yes, we are mainly talking about three types of perfectionism. Although there are similarities between these, there are also slight differences. Let's see what these are in this table.
| Perfectionism type | Simply put... |
|---|---|
| Personal standards perfectionism (based on one's own standards) | This is very healthy. Because you set high goals for yourself and are motivated to achieve them. This makes you less likely to get depressed and stressed. Even if others say, "These are too big goals to achieve," it will motivate you. |
| Self-critical perfectionism | This is a bit dangerous. In this, you feel fear and hopelessness, as if you will never be able to pursue your goals. This can lead to things like anxiety disorders, stress, self-blame, and work avoidance. |
| Socially prescribed perfectionism (based on pressure from society) | What happens in this case is that you are not under pressure from yourself, but from outside, to 'do everything perfectly'. For example, in professions like a doctor or a lawyer, even the slightest mistake cannot be made. Also, pressure from some parents and society can also be a reason for this. |
The health effects of perfectionism
Research has found that perfectionism is linked to a number of mental health problems. Let's take a look at what these effects are.
- Mental health problems:
- Burnout (mental and physical exhaustion caused by overwork)
- Stress
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Suicidal thoughts
- Unwanted thoughts and actions ( Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - OCD)
- Eating disorders
- Lifestyle-related problems:
- Low self-esteem
- Disappointment
- Postponement of work
- Problems in interpersonal relationships
Why do we have this 'Perfectionism'?
It's hard to pinpoint a single reason for this. There could be many reasons. Let's look at the main ones.
- Excessive fear of failure.
- The strong need to please parents or elders.
- The desire to win the love and acceptance of others.
- Having other mental health problems such as anxiety and OCD.
- Feeling insecure and inadequate about oneself.
- Problems in relationships with parents during childhood.
- Being someone who demonstrated high talent during school or youth.
Is there any treatment to overcome perfectionism?
Yes, absolutely. Rather than trying to deal with this on your own, it's important to see a qualified mental health professional , such as a psychiatrist or counselor through your doctor . They can help you figure out the root cause of your condition and start the right treatment.
There are several main treatment methods used.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
This teaches you that not everything has to be 100% perfect. It teaches you that mistakes are normal and don't let them stop you on your journey.
Hypnotherapy
This helps to break away from the 'all or nothing' mentality. This helps to change this rigid attitude.
Family systems therapy
In this, we look at how perfectionism arose in your family, and how it affected you as a person. We work with family members to find solutions to this problem.
Things you can try on your own
In addition to medical advice, there are several things you can try to manage this condition yourself.
- Write down the pros and cons: Write down in a book what the pros and cons of being a perfectionist are for you. When you feel like that again, look at those cons and make up your mind.
- Set realistic goals: Set realistic goals that you can actually achieve. Then you will stop getting tired of chasing things that are impossible.
- Set deadlines: Set a realistic deadline for each task and try to complete it within that time. This will stop you from unnecessarily wasting your time on the same thing.
- Avoid procrastination: Instead of thinking about the end result, break the task into parts and move on after completing one part. That way, you'll feel less overwhelmed.
- Embrace mistakes: Remember that mistakes are not necessarily bad. In fact, you can learn from them. Instead of dwelling on them, accept them as a part of life.
- Focus on other things: Instead of trying to perfect the same thing, spend time doing different things that make you happy and are important to you.
Take-Home Message
- Perfectionism is not a disease, but it is a mental condition that can negatively affect your mental health if left unchecked.
- Mistakes are a part of life. Understand that not everything has to be 100% perfect.
- If you are feeling stressed or anxious about this situation, it is very important to see a doctor and seek advice rather than suffer alone.
- Set realistic goals, don't procrastinate, make time for things that make you happy. Be kind to yourself.
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