If you're pregnant, this is probably one of your biggest fears. Or maybe you've already gone through this painful experience. Miscarriage is a topic that many people are afraid to talk about, and it's also filled with misconceptions. Because of this, many mothers blame themselves and suffer in silence. So today, let's talk about this to ease your burden and find out the truth.
Misconception 1: Abortions are very rare.
Many people think that miscarriages are very rare. According to a survey, most people think that miscarriages occur in less than 5% of pregnancies.
But the truth is quite different. About 20% of all known pregnancies, or about one in five, end in miscarriage. The number is probably even higher, as some miscarriages occur before a woman even knows she is pregnant.
This is the "unspoken secret" of society. Most of the time, no one is going to tell anyone that they have had a miscarriage. But when it happens to someone they know, other people start sharing their experiences . That's when you realize, "Oh, I'm not the only one who has faced this grief."
Misconception 2: This happened because of something you did.
This is the biggest and most naive belief that torments the heart of a mother who has had a miscarriage, and also puts a lot of pressure on her mentally. "Was it because I lifted something heavy that day?", "Was it because I was stressed?", "Was it wrong to exercise?", "Did this happen because I fought with my husband?" Thousands of such questions fill their minds and they blame themselves.
Remember, none of this will cause a miscarriage. In fact, inducing a miscarriage on your own is not as easy as you might think.
So what are the real reasons ? Let's see.
| The main causes of miscarriages | Other factors that may increase the risk |
|---|---|
| Most miscarriages (over 60%) are caused by serious genetic or chromosomal problems in the developing embryo. Simply put, there is a random error in the first cells that form when the egg and sperm unite. This is not the fault of the mother or the father. | |
| Note: While there are differing opinions about caffeine, doctors say that drinking one cup of coffee a day (about 200mg) is safe. Also, while smoking and alcohol increase the risk, they are not the primary cause of most miscarriages. | |
The most important thing is that in many cases, even doctors cannot find a definitive cause for a miscarriage. So please stop blaming yourself.
Misconception 3: Having a miscarriage means you can't have more babies.
This is another misconception that scares many people. The truth is, nearly 90% of women who have a miscarriage go on to have normal pregnancies and give birth to healthy babies.
It can take a few weeks or a month for your body to recover after a miscarriage, depending on how long you were pregnant. Your period will usually start again within 4 to 6 weeks.
Very rarely, about 1% of women experience recurrent miscarriages (three or more). If this is the case for you, your doctor may recommend some tests to find the cause. These tests can look for hormonal problems, genetic conditions, or other causes.
Misconception 4: It's something you should forget about after a while.
"Don't think about it so much," "It's not really a baby," "You can have another baby"... You've probably heard stories like these. Even if they're meant well, these words will only hurt you more.
Many people don't understand that a miscarriage is as much a death as it is a sadness, a loss of hope, the pain of losing a part of your own body. You have every right to feel that sadness and grieve about it.
Whether at age 20 or 80, a woman who has experienced a miscarriage remembers every detail of it for the rest of her life, because it is such a deeply affecting experience.
So, you don't have to go through this alone. Talk about it. Talking to your husband, your best friend, or someone else who has been through this can be very comforting.
The time it takes for your heart to heal will also affect your decision to try to get pregnant again. So talk openly about this with your husband and your doctor and decide on the time that works best for you.
Take-Home Message
- A miscarriage is very common. It's not your fault.
- Most miscarriages are caused by genetic problems (chromosomal abnormalities) in the developing baby. No one can control that.
- After a miscarriage, most women (nearly 90%) have successful pregnancies and healthy babies. Don't worry.
- The sadness, pain, and emptiness that comes with this is normal. Don't be afraid to experience it, talk about it, and ask for help. Talk to your doctor about this too.
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