Do you often have back pain? If so, have you ever thought about how it affects your sex life? Often, you avoid having sex because you're afraid, " Oh , if we have sex now, my back pain will get worse." If you don't tell your partner about it, he or she may think that you're less interested in him or her. This can put a strain on your relationship. This is a problem that many people have, but are embarrassed to talk about.
This is nothing to be ashamed of - let's talk openly.
In fact, back pain and sexual problems are much more common than we think. However, it is a somewhat taboo and embarrassing topic, so many people do not talk about it. Sometimes even doctors may not ask about it. Therefore, it is best to take the initiative and talk to your doctor about it.
There's nothing wrong with starting your own story by saying, "Doctor, my back pain has been affecting my personal life a little bit." If you actually say that, it will be a great relief to you.
Chronic back pain is usually caused by conditions such as disc disease or arthritis in the spine. It can also occur in people recovering from back surgery.
But the most important thing to remember is that no matter what kind of back pain you have, it shouldn't be a hindrance to having a satisfying sex life .
Talk openly with your partner.
It's important to talk to your partner about this issue. Imagine that you're avoiding sex because you can't say, "I can't because my back hurts," or you can't ask them to change their usual sex position. What will the other person think? They might think you're having an affair. If they suspect you're having an affair, your trust will be broken and the relationship will end.
Likewise, the constant pain can make you feel depressed and unhappy. It's also difficult to be sexually active when you're unhappy.
Sometimes the problem isn't just with the person who has the pain. Their partner may also be afraid, "Will I make their back pain worse?" This fear can be as much of a barrier to the relationship as it is to the pain .
Therefore, the best solution is for the two of you to talk about this openly and find alternative methods that are easy and painless for both of you.
Try these things before the pain comes.
With a little planning, you can greatly reduce this discomfort. It's like preparing before a game.
- Take a pain reliever: Taking a pain reliever about half an hour before sex can help control the pain. Talk to your doctor about using a non-narcotic pain reliever (such as an NSAID) that is right for you.
- Take a hot shower: If your back muscles are tight and you're experiencing muscle spasms, take a hot shower before having sex. Because sex is a form of physical exercise, suddenly becoming active with tight muscles can make the pain worse.
- Apply ice afterwards: After you've finished applying the mixture, it's a good idea to apply an ice pack to the area of pain for about 10-15 minutes. This is similar to how an athlete would apply ice to an injured area after a match. This will help to relieve the muscle tension and tightness caused by over-stimulation.
What are the sex positions that are easy on the back?
The most important thing is to try out positions that are comfortable for both of you, especially those that don't cause back pain. You need to understand how your back pain develops. Some people experience more pain when bending forward. Others experience more pain when bending backward. Let's see which positions are suitable for each of these situations.
| How pain feels | Matching poses and instructions |
|---|---|
| If the pain increases when bending forward (Ex: Disk Disease) |
|
| If the pain is worse when bending backwards (e.g. Arthritis, Spinal Stenosis) |
|
It is also very helpful to meet with a physical therapist and learn exercises to increase the flexibility and stability of the spine.
When should you stop?
Sometimes the pain doesn't come right away during sex. But a few hours later, or the next morning, your back pain may get worse. That means you've pushed yourself too far and done something your back can't handle. So listen to your body.
A little discomfort during sex may be tolerable, but if it's severe pain , it's not a good thing at all.
If you feel any pain, stop playing immediately . It's like a tennis player who hurts his back and thinks, "Oh, I've only got two more games, I'll just give up." Doing so will only prolong your recovery time.
So if you feel any pain, stop for that day and try again on a day when your back pain is less.
Take-Home Message
- It's very common for back pain to affect your sex life. Don't be ashamed of it or suffer alone.
- The most important thing is to talk openly about this with your partner and your doctor.
- Take precautions before having sex, such as taking a painkiller, taking a hot bath, and applying ice afterward.
- Try back-friendly positions that are comfortable for your pain. Use pillows to provide extra support for your back.
- If you experience severe pain during an activity , stop immediately . Listen to your body.
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