When you're living with breast cancer, sometimes it can feel overwhelming to even meet your own friends and family, right? Especially when you're going to see someone you haven't seen in a while. With all the fatigue you feel during cancer treatment , the anxiety about how the treatment will go, you don't feel the same about yourself as you used to. Maybe your body shape has changed too. Will other people understand these things? Will you be able to connect with them like you used to? It's very normal to have questions like these.
Being social is very important for your well-being.
It's normal to feel stressed, anxious, and depressed when living with cancer. At the same time, cancer treatments can take up a lot of your time, so you may not feel like going out with friends or attending events.
But think about it, a study found that women with strong social connections are more likely to recover from breast cancer and have a lower risk of cancer recurrence. This means that spending time with people who bring you joy and support you has a direct impact on your physical health. So, it's a great help to do yourself a favor by taking a little time to socialize.
Choose a way to re-enter society that suits you.
If you haven't been socializing in a while, it can feel overwhelming to suddenly go out into a crowded place. That's okay. Let's look at some ways you can make this journey more bearable.
Decide how much detail you will provide.
You may want to tell your closest, most trusted friends about your treatment and how you're feeling, but you don't want to tell everyone else, including those you barely know.
It's enough to say something simple like, "I'm getting some treatment these days, that's why I'm a little tired." You have every right to not talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Don't be afraid to ask your closest friends for help. Tell them, "I can't always come, but if there's a party or a trip, call me." That way, you'll feel like you're not alone.
Put your comfort first.
Thinking about clothes may seem like a small thing compared to the other challenges you face, but it can have a big impact on your self-confidence. As your body changes due to treatment, some old clothes can become tight and uncomfortable.
- Choose comfortable clothes: Wear clothes that are comfortable for your body and made of soft fabrics. Choose clothes that are not tight or constricting around your surgical site, scars, or the chemo port that may be placed around your neck. You can also ask your doctor about special clothes that you can wear after a mastectomy.
- Update your style: Put aside the clothes that don't fit you right now and take this opportunity to give your look a new look. Wear your favorite accessories, put on some makeup in your favorite way. The most important thing is that you feel good about yourself.
Gather around an activity.
If you don't want everyone's attention , join an activity. That way you can be around people, but you won't be the center of conversation.
- A yoga class: Yoga has been found to be very good for the mental and physical health of cancer patients.
- Other classes: You can also join groups like drawing, sewing, and reading.
- Religious programs: Participating in a program at a temple, church, or temple also provides you with peace of mind and an opportunity to connect with others.
When you have people who meet regularly in the same place like this, you just feel safe and build a sense of camaraderie.
| The way to be sociable | The benefit you get from it |
|---|---|
| One-on-one meeting | It's the best way to have a deep conversation with your most trusted friend, to share a burden. Less pressure. |
| Small group activities | You can participate more easily because the focus is not solely on you. Connections are built on common interests. |
| Family Therapy | Helps family understand your feelings. Facilitates communication through a professional counselor. |
| Cancer Support Groups | Talking to people who have had similar experiences as you can help you feel that you are not alone, and can provide great strength and understanding. |
Get used to things at your own pace, your own way.
It's normal to feel a little awkward and awkward when you go to a big event after a while, or when you meet people you haven't seen in a while. That's okay. Let that feeling go. You can be social on your own terms, with confidence.
Talk about the strangeness you feel.
If you can say to yourself, "Hmm, it feels a little strange to be like this after a while," that alone can take half the weight off your mind. In fact, everyone experiences small insecurities and fears in society. When you talk honestly about these feelings, you can create a deeper connection with others.
Go ahead, don't be in a hurry.
Gradually get used to socializing. Don't make big plans all at once. If you're tired or feeling down, you have the right to say 'no' to an invitation. It's part of taking care of yourself and thinking about your well-being.
Also, if you feel like it, you can say yes. You may not be able to stay for the entire event, but if you can come and go for an hour or two, that's great. Celebrate your progress. Over time, when you're surrounded by people who understand and appreciate you, your fear of being social will gradually fade.
Take-Home Message
- You are not alone: It's common to feel isolated when living with cancer, but strong social connections are crucial to your recovery process.
- Start small: You don't need to go to a large group of people at once. Start by talking to a trusted friend or family member.
- Don't be afraid to say 'no': If you feel physically or mentally exhausted, you have the right to decline any invitation. Prioritize your well-being.
- Think about your comfort: Wear clothes that you are comfortable in. Choose things that don't make you uncomfortable and make you feel good about yourself.
- Ask for help: Talk about your feelings with family, friends, or, if necessary, a professional counselor. A support group with people who have been through similar experiences can be a great source of strength.
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