A mother who hopes to become a mother has a thousand dreams about the baby growing in her womb. Imagine, living with those dreams for weeks, months, and then suddenly having all those hopes shattered is an unbearable pain. A miscarriage is such a heartbreaking experience. The sadness that follows, the feeling of failure, and the questions of why this happened to me, make many people depressed. But why does this really happen? Is this anyone's fault?
What exactly is an abortion?
Miscarriages are more common than most people think. According to statistics, about one in four (1/4) confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage. This risk is especially high during the first three months of pregnancy (the first trimester) .
Simply put, a miscarriage is when a baby stops growing and leaves the uterus before 20 weeks of pregnancy. Most of the time, it's hard to find a specific cause. Most of the time, it's caused by a random problem with the baby's chromosomes. That means the baby doesn't develop properly . It's not something the mother does wrong. It's not something you did because of something you did, or something you ate, or something you worked on. It's important to understand this.
A miscarriage is not a failure of your body or your actions. It is often a natural occurrence that cannot be controlled .
Why are some people at higher risk of miscarriage?
Although most miscarriages are random, some health conditions and factors can slightly increase this risk. Let's take a look at them.
| Risk Factor | A simple explanation |
|---|---|
| PCOS condition | Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a condition in which the ovaries produce too many male hormones (androgens). This hormonal imbalance can increase the risk of miscarriage during the first 3 months of pregnancy. |
| Body weight | Obesity or being underweight can affect hormones and increase the risk of miscarriage. |
| Uncontrolled diseases | Conditions such as uncontrolled diabetes mellitus, high blood pressure, and thyroid problems increase the risk of miscarriage. |
| Problems with the uterus | Fibroids, a type of non-cancerous growth that forms in the wall of the uterus, or abnormalities in the shape of the uterus can sometimes cause miscarriages. |
| Age | When the mother is over 35, the quality of the eggs decreases, which increases the risk of chromosomal problems. Therefore, the risk of miscarriage also increases. |
| Vaginal microbes | Research has also found that the balance between healthy bacteria (Vaginal Microbiota) and harmful bacteria in the vagina affects pregnancy. |
Lifestyle and habits
Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and drug use clearly increase the risk of miscarriage. Therefore, it is essential to completely avoid these things if you are trying to get pregnant or are pregnant.
Are there any issues affecting access to medical care?
This is a very sensitive but important issue. Research in countries like the United States has shown that black women are 43% more likely to have a miscarriage than white women. This is due not only to the prevalence of diseases such as diabetes and obesity among them, but also to discrepancies in the quality and access to health care they receive.
Even within Sri Lanka, we can see such differences. The care a pregnant mother receives can vary depending on factors such as economic hardship, level of education, area of residence (difference between rural and urban), and access to good health facilities.
Proper antenatal care is essential for a healthy pregnancy. This means going to regular clinics from the day you conceive, following your doctor's instructions, and getting the necessary tests . Sometimes, some people may avoid these clinics due to lack of insurance, financial concerns, lack of a nearby hospital, or fear of the care they will receive from doctors.
If you experience anything unusual during your pregnancy, such as heavy bleeding or severe pain, do not delay in going to the emergency room (ETU) of a hospital . Timely treatment can sometimes save your baby.
How to cope with grief after a miscarriage?
It can take longer to heal emotionally after a miscarriage than it does to heal physically. The sadness, anger, and emptiness come and go like waves. Some days you feel fine, but another day you feel like crying again at the slightest sign of sadness. These feelings are all normal.
- Give yourself time: Allow yourself to grieve and cry. This is not something that will get better in a day or two.
- Talk to your partner: This grief is as much yours as it is theirs. It is very important that you both share this pain together.
- Talk to someone you trust: Talk to someone who understands you, like your best friend, mother, or sister, about what's on your mind.
- Remember that you are not alone: there are many other women who have gone through this experience just like you.
- Seek medical advice: If you are unable to cope with this grief, talk to your doctor about it. He or she can help you seek psychological counseling if necessary.
It's normal to feel more sad as your due date approaches, or when you see a friend's baby being born around that time. But with time, you'll gain the strength to manage that pain.
Take-Home Message
- A miscarriage is often not the mother's fault. Don't blame yourself for it.
- Certain health conditions, such as PCOS, diabetes, and obesity, can increase the risk of miscarriage. It is important to manage these conditions well.
- It is essential to attend regular medical clinics and follow the doctor's instructions throughout pregnancy.
- Grief and emotional pain after a miscarriage are normal. Don't be afraid to talk about it and ask for help.
- If you have any questions about your body or your health, talk openly with your doctor about it.
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