Ustɛm na di bɛst tɛm fɔ mek yu "go aut" wit pɔsin? Lɛ wi tɔk bɔt dis!

Sɔntɛnde, yu kin lɛk pɔsin, ɔ yu kin jɔs want fɔ tɔk to am ɛn spɛn tɛm wit am? Sɔntɛm yu kin fil smɔl we yu si pɔsin na skul, na klas, ɔ ɔdasay. I rili nɔmal fɔ gɛt dɛn kayn filin ya, mɔ we yu de ol. So tide, mek wi tok abaut ‘making friends’, we bi wen yu go out wit pesin. Bikɔs dis na tɔpik we rili impɔtant, lɛ wi tɔk bɔt ɔltin klia wan ɛn di we we yu go ɔndastand.

Wetin dis "filin se yu dɔn lɔs" min? Wetin na `(Krɔsh)`?

Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, `(krɔsh)` na we yu gɛt spɛshal intres ɔ atrakshɔn fɔ pɔsin. Dis kin apin ivin we i rili yɔŋ, dat na frɔm di praymari gred dɛn. Bɔt we yu ol smɔl ɛn enta klas lɛk di Ɔdinari Lɛvɛl, dis `(krɔsh)` kin go fa smɔl ɛn mek yu tɔk to pipul dɛn lɛk "Shall we be friends?" "Wi go `(go out)`?"

Bɔku tɛm na dis ej, we na we yu de na skul, fɔ "go na do" wit pɔsin min se una ɔl tu no se una lɛk unasɛf . Dɔn dɛn kin:

• Fɔ tɔk na fon.
• Di mɛsej go bi `(tɛks)`.
• Fɔ spɛn tɛm togɛda wit wan grup pan yu padi dɛn (fɔ ɛgzampul, we ɔl yu padi dɛn go na ples fɔ ple afta skul, ɛnibɔdi we yu lɛk kin de de).

Bɔt bɔku tɛm, fɔ go de wit pɔsin in wan nɔ kin apin dɛn tɛm ya. Fɔ tɔk tru, i rili sef ɛn bɛtɛ fɔ mek yu wet te yu de na sɛkɔndari skul ɔ kɔleji fɔ go de yu wan, ɔ spɛn mɔ tɛm yu wan wit pɔsin we yu lɛk. Sɔm rizin dɛn de fɔ dat, ɛn wi go tɔk bɔt dɛn.

Wetin mek wi nɔ fɔ fred fɔ "go na do"?

Di tin dɛm we yu kin lan we yu ol dis ej rili impɔtant fɔ yu tumara bambay. Yu emotional stebility, yu mental health, ɔl dis de bil insay dis tɛm. So, sɔm tin dɛn de we yu fɔ tink bɔt bifo yu bigin fɔ gɛt padi biznɛs wit pɔsin.

• Kɔntrol aw yu de fil: Yu stil de lan fɔ kɔntrol ɛn ɔndastand aw yu de fil. We yu ol dis ej, yu maynd kin rili fil bad. Yu kin rili gladi fɔ smɔl tin, ɛn rili sɔri fɔ smɔl tin. So, we yu bigin fɔ gɛt padi biznɛs wit pɔsin, ivin smɔl prɔblɛm dɛn kin afɛkt yu bad bad wan. Chans de fɔ mek yu gɛt bad bad tin. Imajin aw i go sɔri if padi biznɛs we yu bin dɔn bigin wit bɔku op dɔn dɔn wantɛm wantɛm.
• Impekt pan edukeshɔn: Sɔntɛnde, rileshɔnship lɛk dis kin ambɔg yu akademik wok. Sɔntɛm yu go chenj yu atɛnshɔn.
• Prɛshɔn we nɔ nid fɔ de:Sɔmtɛm, di filin fɔ "nid fɔ gɛt padi" kin kɔmɔt frɔm di prɛshɔn we yu kɔmpin dɛn kin gɛt. Nɔ tink se jɔs bikɔs ɔlman de du am, yusɛf fɔ du am. Wetin impɔtant na if yu rili fil se yu rɛdi fɔ am.
• Fɔ ɔndastand dɛnsɛf: Fɔ ɔndastand ɛn rɛspɛkt dɛnsɛf rili impɔtant fɔ mek yu gɛt wɛlbɔdi. If yu ɔndastand dɛn tin ya fayn ɛn biev di rayt we, dat go ɛp yu fɔ machɔ as tɛm de go.

Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl: Yu nɔ fɔ ɛva, insay ɛni rilayshɔnship, mek ɛnibɔdi du ɔ tɔk ɛnitin we go mek yu nɔ fil fayn ɔ we yu nɔ want fɔ du. Yu nid fɔ no wetin na yu bɔda dɛn.

Wetin if pɔsin aks mi fɔ "go aut"? Ɔ if a want fɔ aks pɔsin?

Dis na prɔblɛm we bɔku pipul dɛn gɛt. Okay, mek wi si aw fɔ dil wit dis.

1. Aks yusɛf: "Wetin a rili want frɔm dis? Wetin a de ɛkspɛkt?" Sɔntɛm ɔl wetin yu want na gud padi. Sɔntɛm i pas dat smɔl. Yu fɔ fɛnɔt dat fɔ yusɛf.

2. Si if una tu laik am: If yu laik pesin, im shud laik yu bak. If nɔto dat, yu nɔ go ebul fɔ fos rileshɔnship. If una ɔl tu rɛdi, una kin ``go aut''.

3. Tek am slo: Di bɛst advays na fɔ tek am sloslo. Nɔ panik. Nɔ gɛt ay ɛkspɛkteshɔn ɔl wan tɛm. Una kam fɔ no unasɛf smɔl smɔl, una tɔk to unasɛf. Bikɔs, lɛk aw a bin dɔn tɔk bifo tɛm, na dis ej, i rili izi fɔ mek yu wund.

4. Tɛl big pɔsin we yu abop pan: If yu ɛva fil se yu nɔ fil fayn, yu de fred, ɔ yu at pwɛl bikɔs ɔf sɔntin we yu patna tɔk ɔ du, mek shɔ se yu tɛl big pɔsin we yu trɔst. I kin bi yu mama, papa, ticha, ɔ ɔda pɔsin na yu famili. Dɛn kin ɛp yu. Nɔ go tru dis yu wan.

Wetin na dɛn "bɔda" ya?

Dis rili impɔtant. Bɔda na fɔ bi klia wan bɔt wetin yu lɛk, wetin yu nɔ lɛk, wetin yu kin fil fayn wit, ɛn wetin yu nɔ kin fil fayn wit, ɛn fɔ tɛl ɔda pipul dɛn bɔt dat. Fɔ ɛgzampul:

• Nɔ gi yu pɔsin in infɔmeshɔn (e.g. yu fon paswɔd) to ɛnibɔdi pas yu want.
• If pɔsin mek jok we mek yu nɔ fil fayn, nɔ fred fɔ se, "Dat nɔ kɔmfyut fɔ mi, duya nɔ tɔk dat."
• If pɔsin tɔch yu di we we yu nɔ lɛk, nɔ alaw am, stɔp am, ɛn tɛl big pɔsin bɔt am.

Fɔ kip dɛn bɔda ya rili impɔtant fɔ mek yu rɛspɛkt yusɛf ɛn fɔ mek yu sef.

Wetin a go du if di pɔsin we a lɛk jɔs lɛk mi as padi? O wetin if sohmbodi "bi" mi en den disayd foh stop?

Ah, dis na di pat we at pas ɔl. I rili nɔmal fɔ fil sɔri, vɛks, ɛn lɛk se di wɔl de dɔn na tɛm lɛk dis.Nɔto jɔs yu, bɔku pipul dɛn dɔn gɛt ɛkspiriɛns lɛk dis.

• Tray fɔ aksept am: If yu aks pɔsin fɔ "bi padi" ɛn dɛn se "nɔ," i kin rili at. Bɔt tray fɔ gri wit am. Dɔn bak, tray fɔ du gud to da pɔsin de. We yu vɛks ɛn vɛks, dat nɔ go du yu ɔ di ɔda pɔsin ɛni gud.
• Dis filin nɔr kin de sote go: De pwɛl hat ɛn pwɛl hat wae yu kin fil nɔr go de sote go. Dɛn filin dɛn de go chenj as tɛm de go. Yu go mit nyu padi dɛn ɛn pe atɛnshɔn pan nyu tin dɛn.
• Tɔk to pɔsin we yu biliv: Dis na di bɛst tin fɔ du. Tɔk to yu mama ɛn papa, ɔ ɔda big pɔsin we yu biliv, bɔt dis. Sɔntɛm dɛn bin dɔn go tru dɛn sem kayn tin ya we yu ol. Dɛn kin gi yu gud advays ɛn ɛp yu fɔ disayd fɔ du sɔntin.

"Di wold no de end jos bikos tins no go di we yu want, wit wan pesin, wan taim. I no min se yu bi bad pesin, o se nobodi go eva laik yu."

Aw yu kin ebul fɔ bia wit dis kayn tɛm? `(Hɛlth Kɔping)`

We pɔrsin nɔr lɛk yu ɔr de du yu bad, wɛl bɔdi we dɛn de fɔ pul am:

• Aksept wetin yu de fil: If yu at pwɛl, aksept am. Nɔ ayd am. Bɔt nɔ wallow insay am sɛf.
• Nɔ tink bɔt bad tin dɛn: We yu bigin fɔ tink bɔt tin dɛn lɛk, "Na mi fɔlt," "Nɔbɔdi nɔ lɛk mi," i kin jɔs mek yu fil wɔs. Bifo dat, tray fɔ tink se, "Okay, dis tɛm i apin dis we, nɛks tɛm i go bɛtɛ."
• Du tin dɛn we yu lɛk: Distrakt yusɛf. Draw pikchɔ, lisin to siŋ, rid buk, ple gem, tɔk to padi dɛn.
• Tek kia ɔf yusɛf: It fayn, ɛksesaiz, ɛn slip fayn. We yu gɛt wɛlbɔdi, i kin izi fɔ mek yu kɔntinyu fɔ gɛt gud maynd.

Fɔ dɔn, tin dɛn fɔ mɛmba (Take-Home Message) .

So, pan ɔl we dis "going out" stori kin tan lɛk se i kɔmplikt smɔl, i nɔ bad so we yu ɔndastand am fayn.

• Di we aw yu de fil na nɔmal tin: Na nɔmal tin fɔ lɛ pɔsin lɛk pɔsin. Nɔ fil gilti fɔ dat.
• Nɔ fred: Nɔ fred fɔ bigin rileshɔnship. Wet te yu fil se yu rili rɛdi.
• Sef ɛn bɔda dɛn: Tink bɔt yu sef. No wetin na yu bɔda dɛn ɛn rɛspɛkt dɛn. If pɔsin de krɔs dɛn bɔda dɛn de, nɔ alaw am.
• Big pipul dɛm wae yu kin trɔst: I impɔtant fɔ gɛt big pɔsin wae yu kin trɔst wae yu kin tɔk to bɔt ɛni prɔblɛm ɔr prɔblɛm wae yu kin gɛt. Nɔ fred fɔ aks fɔ dɛn ɛp.
• Yu valyu: Ilɛksɛf pɔsin lɛk yu ɔ i nɔ lɛk yu, yu gɛt valyu. Yu gladi at, yu tumara bambay, nɔto bay wetin ɔda pɔsin want.

Mɛmba se dis na di bɛst tɛm fɔ mek yu no yusɛf, fɔ lan aw yu de du tin, ɛn fɔ mek yu gɛt gud padi biznɛs. So put dɛn tin dɛn de fɔs. Dɛn go alaw lɔv ɛn padi biznɛs bak we di tɛm rich. Insay da tɛm de, tek kia ɔf yusɛf!

` Lɔv, Rilayshɔnship, Yɔŋ, Mental Ɛlth, Imɔshɔn, Kɔnsul, Go Ɔut